This is pissing me off. AIBU?

[LapinR0se]

DH and I are part of a wine tasting club. 4 times a year there are nice events (fancy, black tie etc) where we have a meal and matching wines and it's all very nice.
The events are looooong, like 5 or 6 hours and we spend hours talking to the other people about the wine blah blah small talk etc.

Thing is, no one ever remembers me? Like they introduce themselves to me every time. I'm at the point now where I'm like..."yes I'm lapin, we met 5 times before, you live in Spain and you have 3 kids right???"

Why am I so unmemorable? It drives me mad. AIBU or am I being ridiculous???

I'd wear one of those "Hello my name is ..." tags on my shirt when at next event

I really struggle to remember and distinguish people who have a relatively common “look”.

So for example there are 4 school mums who are slim, a bit posh, with straight blonde hair. I’ve spoken to each of them separately many many times, but I have no idea which of them has told me any particular fact or what their names are. They all blur into one “blonde Boden mum” for me.

Do you think you have a very popular look?

On the other hand I’ve never had any difficulty with the slim blonde school mum who dresses a bit unusually and wears chunky necklaces, she stands out for me much more.

@JustKeep

I really struggle to remember and distinguish people who have a relatively common “look”.

So for example there are 4 school mums who are slim, a bit posh, with straight blonde hair. I’ve spoken to each of them separately many many times, but I have no idea which of them has told me any particular fact or what their names are. They all blur into one “blonde Boden mum” for me.

Do you think you have a very popular look?

Are the events in Spain- where you live, in the UK or somewhere else? DH and I (pre-covid) used to work 6-10mths of every year in the same place abroad. I've often found that people discount us or me, as they assume we aren't living there, therefore not worth getting to know or remembering.

One woman in particular, I'd met with a friend over 10x, over an 8yr period. Each and every time, she seemed clueless to who I was, like we'd never met. The last time we met, I just pointed out some of the MANY events, parties and occasions we'd met up.

The booze would clearly play a part also and a 5-6hr even sounds incredibly long!

Next time, you could pretend not to know who they all are. 'Oh, have you been here before? Sorry, I don't recall seeing you'!

Says more about them than it does about you.

I have kind of the opposite problem in that I assume no one is going to remember me (as if I have a sort of neutral, blank kind of face) so I don't say hello to people I've already met (coz I'm assuming they don't know who I am) and it turns out they do remember me, so I must just look really rude and aloof 😬.

I’m the other way around. I assume I’m not memorable and yet people always remember me. Which in turn makes me anxious as to why…

I would introduce yourself as a different character every time.
Phoebe Buffay.
Scarlett O'Hara.
Elizabeth Bennett.
Jane Eyre.