To think special needs schools need to stay open

[Defeatedbylife]

Im talking about during holidays,summer holidays are coming up and parents like me who are single or home while partners work and have no help in terms of families or friends utterly dread these times.Chilldren attending these schools need routine constantly and most of them arent learning a normal curriculum, instead they are learning basic life skills.
Im.talking from experience.
Ive lost all joy for living,every single day is the same as today,so bloody hard.im a stay at home mum as i have a severly mentally disabled child.he attends a special needs school but the holidays are fast approaching and im filled with utter dread,he makes so much mess ,like smearing food,his feaces,screaming,and its near impossible to go anywhere without someone tutting or complaining at his screaming.i dont blame them. I myself cant bear it.theres no clubs he can attend and family wont have him,every year i have a breakdown and no one knows.in terms of social care help its very minimal,a few hours a week.
Tonight im sitting here contemplating that its better not being here,i have no life,i dont forsee a future with any happiness.im not going to do anything,i know this.

I'm not voting. Plainly YABU to expect familiar staff to work 52 weeks a year but YANBU to need help 52 weeks a year.
Ideally there would be provision outside term time for those that need it.
Ideally it wouldn't be familiar term time staff and then a revolving door of fill in staff for holidays.
Ideally funding would be available.
YANBU to wish for Ideally.

I feel for you Op and know just how tough it is. My son's SEN school do 2 weeks in the middle of the holidays where some of the support workers, TAs and the odd teacher do a combination of days at school and trips out. It ran in a much reduced capacity last year, but at least it was some respite. They are absolute angels.

Do you have a local Mencap branch?

What happens when they leave school?

Both... YABU, in order for Special schools to employ the caliber of staff you speak so highly of they need to be treated equally in terms of pay and conditions to their mainstream counterparts. So in short they deserve their holidays else the sector won't retain the incredible staff they have.

Equally YANBU to believe that so many of our precious SEND children are being failed by inadequate respite care and residential provision.

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling OP please talk to your school and your social worker.

Cool, so the staff get no leave? It’s just not practical

I'm so sorry to the OP and everyone else who is struggling more than anything I wish there was more help available to families like yours.

I agree...and disagree... I'm a Special School TA, and totally agree that there needs to be year round provision.. our children need the routine and often lose skills they have gained during the summer holidays.

BUT... you can't ask the same school staff to do it. We are as knackered as you are... the holiday is essential for survival.

Is there no holiday club? My school works with Barnados and our children have holiday provision in the school building through them... ok it's not education (it is fun!) but it is respite for parents.

Incidentally a large percentage of our staff..myself included , are TAs BECAUSE we have children with special needs ourselves.. so we understand , we really do... I work all day with very challenging behaviour (and love it, honestly) and come home to an autistic adult son. I NEED my 6 weeks off to 'just' have said son , rather than son plus 9 kids in class, or I'd break ... we are paid too little to work with the same holidays as a less, um, exhausting job!

Poor staff though. They need a break!

I don't think the OP is suggesting the staff get no leave but that there should be year-round provision, which is something different.

@EL8888

Cool, so the staff get no leave? It’s just not practical

You do know that people in full time care roles get leave, right? Or doctors or nurses or actually most jobs?

Op's point is that special schools - for some though of course not all pupils - are not the same as a traditional school, and there is a degree of care work and respite involved that the current system totally fails to acknowledge.

The alternative that some families in these really difficult circumstances end up having to go with is full time residential care. It would be far better for the children, for their families (and for taxpayers, if that's your thing), that some schools run year round for some pupils, with staff who are (of course) paid and allowed leave appropriately.

Many staff work with challenging clients that aren’t teachers. Whilst I agree teachers of SEN children are deserving of a break, there’s no reason this can’t be catered for like any other job with an annual leave entitlement.

What about those working in hospitals for people with MH difficulties, residential children’s home, hospital’s etc - there is no special entitlement to prescribed time off during school holidays for them.

Staff needing or being deserving of a break and children like OP’s being disserviced by the change in routine are two separate issues.

I suspect that one of the biggest barriers isn’t actually funding or teacher scheduling, but the perception of recreating anything that resembles the institutions where special needs children were warehoused in previous generations.

Some kids and families would really benefit from a consistent year round program that ran a full day so parents could work and kids with profound needs could access education, life skills training, and therapies in one place. Then at the end of the day they could go home.

So basically the equivalent of what other families are able to put together with a combination of school, after school clubs and holiday clubs.

@Micemakingclothes precisely this

I used to work with elderly moderate learning disabilities, there was routine, and being bungalows for each ‘group of 6’ we did what we could as support staff.
Being very aware of previous institutions were like, and had various mixed views from ex staff.
Personally I think residential care is what you need

It may be worth speaking to the School SENDCo/ parent support officers about any services that offer respite; they should able to support you to find information listed on the Local Offer. Your GP may also ne able to sign post you.

YANBU - I have no idea how to manage DS during the summer, it’s going to be so dreadful. If his needs are significant enough to require 2:1 you really should be offered respite care. This doesn’t help you for the summer but can you ask your case worker for a review of his EHCP?

I work in this sector. My staff couldn’t function at the level of pressure and engagement required for 52 weeks a year. However residential options do exist and respite can sometimes be an option.

I know respite is very hit and miss in terms of accessibility though and much depends on your location.

If you are struggling your Local Authority is your first point of call to discuss the package for your child as I’m sure you know. You have to be the advocate for your child and it is so very difficult I know. Please don’t think I’m trying to brush off your concerns.

Sadly it’s all about the location and the cash availability in your LA.

It is possible to access out of area resources but you need to be prepared to go to tribunals etc.

I’m sorry you are going through this.

Just to add, please talk to your Social Worker ASAP. If they are able they can try and help with respite. You could also ask your headteacher to organise a meeting with all SWs and LA involved in the pckage. They might refer to it as ‘care around the family’ or similar. Then be really upfront about what you need.

You will need to act quickly as the end of term approaches though and some teams are still working at home

I voted YABU
Firstly to expect School to stay open.

How old is your son? My son is also disabled so I do understand what it’s like but thankfully my experience is not the same as yours and I would hate to not have the holidays with my son.
I hope you get some help & support sorted soon.

There absolutely needs to be provision for these children over the holidays. In the school setting they are familiar with would be ideal but expecting it to stay open as normal school isn't feasible. There is buggar all available in our area. One day a week at a playscheme but years on the waiting list to get a space. It is an absolute disgrace. I am struggling to hold down a part time job. It is a nightmare.

YANBU these schools should stay open and there should be more support in place for the family. Not only from a care perspective but so many of the skills they have fought so hard to gain throughout the year can then fall by the wayside during their time off so it really does feel 2 steps forward and 1 back.

I feel like anyone voting YABU are people whose children do not need this intensive, specialist support so please take it with a pinch of salt

please speak again to SS. you should get respite. or look into residential. my dd is now an adult. school holidays without respite or holiday club were a nightmare.
I don't think people who don't live this life get how hard it is.

@Willwebebuyingnumber11

I voted YABU Firstly to expect School to stay open.

How old is your son? My son is also disabled so I do understand what it’s like but thankfully my experience is not the same as yours and I would hate to not have the holidays with my son.
I hope you get some help & support sorted soon.

I don’t think anybody is suggesting holding children hostage, but it does seem pretty obvious that for some children, holidays, especially long ones, will cause disruption and distress.

YANBU, op.

Look at your Local Offer. There may be schemes/groups on there. It does depend on your local authority though