To be annoyed with 6yo slapping lips when eating

[Flamglimglubberty]

It's driving me insane. I love him, but good god I'm struggling to sit next to him while he's eating! It's really obnoxious chewing too... Like a cow chomping grass.

Anyone have any ideas on how to deal with it? At the moment I'm continually reminding him to close his mouth when he chews, but it feels like I'm just constantly nagging him. Have to remind him 8-10 times minimum per meal. It puts a real downer on meal times.

I've also tried doing the noises to him so he can hear what it's like. This has no effect on him whatsoever.

I do want to eat with him, so eating separately isn't an option.

He doesn't have any breathing issues which prevents him from closing his mouth with chewing.

Please tell me I'm not alone in hating the sound of it and he'll grow out of it eventually!

I’m just here for sympathy, that would make me stabby too but I have no advice over and above what you’re doing

Other people’s munching noises make me so angry

I'll confess that I don't like the sound of my dd(13) chewing. I don't know how much of it is my issue, so I should just control myself - I remember being hurt when my mother snapped at the way I crunched my cereal - versus how much of it is something I should persist with, because good table manners are worth it.

@bibliomania

I'll confess that I don't like the sound of my dd(13) chewing. I don't know how much of it is my issue, so I should just control myself - I remember being hurt when my mother snapped at the way I crunched my cereal - versus how much of it is something I should persist with, because good table manners are worth it.

Oh that's awful, sorry you had to go through that

That's the kind of thing I want to avoid too. I'm definitely sensitive to noise, so I'm cautious not to correct when it's just the natural noise a food makes (like crunching an apple/cereal/crisps etc). But it's the lip slapping that does me in. It makes me feel physically sick sometimes. We're having lots of talk about table manners at the moment, so hopefully it will improve eventually

Lip slapping is a description that I've only ever heard on mumsnet, usually from posters with misphonia

I definitely don't have misophonia and DH definitely slaps his lips. Partly because he has chronic rhinitis...

I honestly have to leave the room when my DD eats pink wafer biscuits. It's unbearable.

This is my hard line. DH knows if he hadn’t stopped eating with his mouth open then I would have broken up with him. Not exaggerating. His problem was lack of table manners from his parents but he’s fine now.

My eldest (12) is terrible for it. I don’t care if I’m nagging, I tell him all the time, I will stop and put my knife and fork down and just give him a look. I have genuinely told him if he can’t eat with his mouth closed then he can wait and eat on his own.

Eating with mouth closed is the bare minimum when it comes to table manners (even though I eat with knife and fork in the ‘wrong’ hands ). You do everyone a favour by not letting it go.

Could you ask someone else if it’s definitely unusually loud? My sil complains about everyone’s eating noises but actually we eat at the same volume she does! It just annoys her from others. If he is eating unusually loudly maybe try praising if he can eat quietly/normally as he could be carrying it on for attention if he knows it gets a rise.

Can you video a typical mealtime and play it back so he can see and hear himself?

If you do that in a kind and helpful way rather than being critical, I'm sure he'll get the point a lot more than just from reminders. He'll also be able to see and hear the other people at the table not lipsmacking.

A lot of people are oblivious to how their behaviour can impact other people and he's so young that he's not developed those skills yet.

You are doing all his future friends and partners a favour by sorting this out! Keep at him! A parent's job is to prepare their child for the outside world, and everyone hates a loud eater! He will get it eventually

My partner and dad are the exact same, such an infuriating noise ! I find it happens more with the pair of them when they are hungry and eating fast, wore my voice out saying something about it !!

Yes, you should continue to teach him good table manners. It will be to his benefit as he gets older, and is something sadly lacking in many these days.

My sympathies OP!

I think you are absolutely right to want to correct this, but I wonder if he is perhaps a bit too young? DS1 was a shocker for eating with his mouth open for years - not wide open, but just wouldn't keep his lips together iyswim. It finally sunk in about a year ago - he is 13 now - and I only have to remind him occasionally.

Once he was older I was able to be a lot firmer / more explicit about how disgusting it was in a way that I wouldn't have wanted to be with a six year old.

He also eats far too quickly, which is my next battle!

How about trying food in mouth, finger on lips like a shhhh position until he's chewed and swallowed?
Move finger, add another mouthful, finger on lips, rinse and repeat.

To be a lipsmacker, you're opening your mouth too far every time you chew what's in it.

Maybe smaller mouthfuls of food will help too?

I think it's fine to keep nagging him if he's eating with his mouth open, which he obviously is for his lips to be making noise.

As you said, it's different if it's just the natural noise of crunching food but smacking lips is not polite and it's fine to keep reminding.

Someone at my school used to eat with her mouth open and people took the piss out of her for it, so it's for his own benefit to learn too as it will be noticed and commented on.

Proper table manners are very important. You must keep after him about this.

He is only 6 years old. Get a grip. Perhaps he was just enjoying his food or perhaps he was very hungry?

@tara66

He is only 6 years old. Get a grip. Perhaps he was just enjoying his food or perhaps he was very hungry?

???

Either way, he still needs to learn manners, and he won't if his parents don't teach him? OP hasn't done anything wrong.

Surely 6 is exactly the right time to start implementing things like this? He's not a baby anymore.

Try game. Get him to practise chewing gum with his mouth closed.
Challenge him to do it for a set amount of time, 30 seconds can seem like forever when you're mastering a new task.

I'm definitely sensitive to noise, so I'm cautious not to correct when it's just the natural noise a food makes (like crunching an apple/cereal/crisps etc). But it's the lip slapping that does me in. It makes me feel physically sick sometimes.

I suspect this is as much about you as him. You have my sympathy as I have misphonia, as do all my family. In all honesty, he's 6, it's unlikely his table manners won't improve. I would suggest finding a way to cope with the noise, as well as gently working on his table manners with him. If you are feeling calm, it will be a lot easier to constructively help him improve his manners than if you are boiling with rage inside from the sound!

We find playing low level music at every meal time helps.

I do have misophonia so yes it would bother me but it also massively bothers me when I sit in a restaurant looking at the surrounding tables of adults who still can’t manage to eat with their mouths closed!
It’s so gross and makes me feel ill.

Thanks all! Starting to suspect I may have misophonia, so appreciate the tips on how to handle this.

Putting that aside, it's a common annoyance and I'd hate for my child to be judged for poor manners so I'll keep patiently reminding him. I like the idea of finger on lip whilst chewing, will give this a try. Would hate for him to grow into one of the adults that does it!!

In the meantime I'll nip out to boots and buy myself some ear plugs

My DH used to complain about our dc doing this, but quite honestly, there wasn’t any noise. Maybe ask someone else to check the noise is actually as bad as you think before you make a big deal of it.

@NotAnotherPushyMum

My DH used to complain about our dc doing this, but quite honestly, there wasn’t any noise. Maybe ask someone else to check the noise is actually as bad as you think before you make a big deal of it.

It's not just me, a few family members have also pointed it out

I have misophonia. It's fascinating when you look into it. For most people (including me) it's not the noise in itself that's the issue: if an animal was to make the same noise, I'd be okay. It's specifically because of the way the noise is made that makes the noise itself is so infuriating. Very strange.

Anyway, tread carefully. Has to be a balance between teaching him manners (or he'll be annoying everyone everywhere as he grows up) and not inflicting your issue on him. I know I've been guilty of making others suffer because of my misophonia (partner feels uncomfortable eating etc). It's awful.