Colleague keeps saying I'm posh

[Drumstick38]

She's early 20s and I'm 30, have only worked together for around a month.

I live in the North and my job is in a town that has quite a distinct accent, most of my colleagues live in the town and have that accent but I don't and live further away.
I haven't got a strong northern accent but it isn't 'posh' either.

Anyway once at work I said something, a slang sort of word and she went "Oh I thought you'd be too posh to say stuff like that."

Another time we had a crazy situation and I let out an "oh shit."
She said "I never thought I'd hear you swear, I thought you were too posh for that."

I've just laughed it off but it's strange she says that, though it doesn't matter at all what she thinks.

Sometimes I've thought she likes me and other times, no. It's a late shift which not everybody wants to do and maybe she just couldn't be bothered that day. But one night she seemed fine then I heard her saying to our colleague, "are you sure you don't want to do my shift for me? I'll do yours tomorrow instead?" It was just me and her on that night.

Then she was quite frosty, only speaking to me if I spoke to her first and giving one word answers. I asked her how her shift had been with a different colleague the day before and she said "It was fantastic."

But then other times she's friendly and chatty so I'm not really sure.

She thinks she’s better than you and she has the right to look down on you. Bad vibes. Be polite but closed off. Don’t trust her or try to befriend her by sharing personal information. She’ll gossip and won’t think twice about using it to throw you under the bus.

I have been teased about my accent pretty much throughout my whole life. I don't think anyone would mistake me from being from anywhere other than the North West of England, but as I've moved around a fair bit, I don't have an accent that is specific to any particular town. So at every school I went to I was declared "posh" because I didn't have the specific local accent. Then at University I was on a course with quite a lot of ex private school students from the South and was viewed as being common as muck by some of them. (Fortunately it was a big course with a wide range of people, but there was a distinct class divide.) In one of my professional exams I was goaded by the examiner who said they'd expect me to be familiar with certain historical events (completely irrelevant to the exam) as I sounded like I belonged in a Lancashire cotton mill. Now I live somewhere else with quite a distinctive accent and I'm back to being posh again as I don't have it!
I've learned to let it float over my head most of the time. I think comments like these say far more about the person making them than the person they are about.

i'm often called me posh, it doesn't bother me, but i think it says more about the person who said it in the first place.

I get this. People where I live say all English people sound posh. I'm pretty sure 90% of regional English accents are not posh sounding (they're all great though).

@Lesartisansetlessansculottes

Say "I'm not posh just polite" and if she says anything back say, "well I don't comment on the way people speak".

like it !

Having learned English as a second language, I ended up with an RP accent. Non-native speakers often tend to pick up the accent of whoever speaks to or teaches them. When I moved to the UK, people often mocked me. Some in a good-naturedly and affectionately way but quite a few in a rather mean way. Most of it was borne out of their own insecurities and hang-ups. When some people insinuated or outright said that I obviously felt superior to them, I would just look them straight in the eye and respond ‘Obviously’. In reality, I would not make assumptions about people’s accent and adore many regional dialects. But I have no patience for the ‘posh’ bashing.

Thanks for the replies. Unfortunately her aunt is the senior manager so it feels tricky to report it. I will try to be more assertive though, I do think it's very rude to comment on people like that unless it's to say "You have a nice accent" or something similar.

Have you tried explaining (as to a toddler) that you're not posh, you just grew up in a different part of the country and have a different accent?

Or alternatively, ask her whether she thinks that everyone who speaks with her accent is common.

Tr6 saying I've never really seen myself as posh but thank you, that's very sweet of you.

If she's trying to be a cow, it'll piss her right off. Plus she'll stop it if she thinks you see it as a compliment.

Unfortunately, nowadays to be indolent and ignorant is a thing of pride... Don't play into the whole dumbed down vox populi. Respond with silence.

I get this at work, but it's always been friendly (or I thought it was!). My family is from a place further North than the town I work in, but they moved around a lot and as an adult, so did I, so I have a neutral accent. People will always find something to be mean about, if that's the way they are. My DH has a strong Northern accent and also calls me 'posh' (just gentle teasing). It's honestly never bothered me.

I also know many people with Northern accents who are far 'posher' than me!

I had this years ago when I loved to the north Midlands. I gr-arse/Parth not gr-ass/pa-th, but am not "posh" otherwise, just from SE. Its a sign of another's insecurity and prejudice I'm afraid, still get it occasionally although our department has become a lot more multicultural recently with people from all over the world.

Thing is I doubt these people would make a comment on these colleagues' accents for fear of coming across as racist but because I'm white it doesn't matter

You're not in Wigan are you? I moved there from Liverpool and I was called 'posh' for not having their accent. A scouser - posh sounding? My head nearly fell off. Lots of small town mindsets in that area, always looking to drag people down. Don't let it get to you!

Just ignore it. I got it all the time at school 🙄 Then I moved to London and now they all say I sound rough or like a farmer. Can never win lol.