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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you think of weighing children in school

296 replies

cadburyegg · 21/06/2021 10:30

Discussion on our school groups about the possibility of weighing children restarting as it was halted in March 2020. Lots of parents think it’s shameful and unnecessary, some are of the opinion that it’s “just for statistics” and can also be useful to see what centile your child is at.

I’m on the fence tbh. What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Postdatedpandemic · 21/06/2021 17:28

Maybe parents who opt out of height and weight measurements, could be referred to someone who will check if that child is being abused or has a genuine reason for not being weighed. "My child is under Mr Jones at Queen Mary's" is a fine excuse, "I don't agree with it" from an obese parent about an obese child should be followed up.

NotMeNoNo · 21/06/2021 17:44

Its important to collect accurate data. How it's communicated back to parents (or even if it needs to be) is another thing.

HostessTrolley · 21/06/2021 18:15

I think that people saying that weighing at school has nothing to do with eating disorders don’t know much about eating disorders tbh.

I can remember a long conversation on the subject in the parent’s group meeting when my daughter was an inpatient at an eating disorder unit 200 miles from home, about how many of the kids had been affected by this. And the conversation about it with her therapist in a family session. As a muscular 10 year old gymnast who was training about 14 hours every week she was told by a clearly obese young chap that ‘look, we are just the same’ and of course the young ladies of a certain type loved having some ammunition against the girl that could do cool backflips but would also come top in all the tests.

Inastatus · 21/06/2021 18:20

[quote Flowerlane]@Inastatus my child is not overweight but is very aware of weight. There is a child in the class that is sadly overweight and has in the past been bullied for it. In our house we try to make a point of it’s not about what you weigh it’s about being healthy - exercising and having a balanced diet.

If my child was weighed it would play on their mind, I don’t want a already anxious child having the extra worry about their weight. There is no need for them to be weighed.[/quote]
@Flowerlane - I just find it sad that young children are so aware of their weight. There will always be overweight kids in classrooms who do get bullied about it (as do kids who are ginger, small, got freckles, glasses, braces - or anything else bullies will find to pick on). I just don’t understand why that should make a normal weight child anxious or worry about being weighed themselves. Surely by making a thing of it and refusing to allow them to be weighed when the majority of their classmates will be, just compounds the issue?

WorraLiberty · 21/06/2021 18:20

@nighttimeonly

Dreadful, and means that heavier children will be bullied.

I went to a hockey match a couple of years ago. The keeper was the child who is quite overweight. One of the parents , known for being super bitchy and cliquey anyway, said "oh well of course it's X in goal, it would be because he's huge, look at the size of him...you know he weighs almost DOUBLE what my son does?!". Another parent said she couldn't say things like that and asked her how she knew that anyway. The response from nasty bitchy mother came "oh they weighed them in science last week and my son came home and told me the results."

So not only did her son bully this overweight child because the weights were all known in class, but this mother was using the info to be openly nasty about him too. When challenged about it, she replied "well it's a good thing he knows, and that his parents know, at least they might, you know , DO something about it now". Confused

I have chosen never to speak to the mother concerned again as I no longer wanted to be part of her spitefulness toward other children and parents. She is well known as being a class A bitch anyway who thinks she is a lot better and nicer than she really is. But this shows why weighing children at school "in the name of science" is outdated and should not be allowed.

What on earth are you talking about?

For the children's weights to be known in class, the parents would have to open the envelope sent to their home address, visit the school and announce it to the children Confused

EmeraldShamrock · 21/06/2021 18:26

It can work both ways and identify DC who are malnourished and underweight. I don't think it is fat shaming I've 1 chubby and 1 slim DC.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 21/06/2021 18:38

I don't think it's necessary. The parents who have an overweight/underweight child will either do something about it anyway or they won't. A letter from school isn't going to change anything.

I actually got a letter telling me my DD was overweight. She was tubby. But ate very healthily. The leaflet I was given told me to cut out fizzy drinks and takeaways. None of which she ate.

I took her to my GP to ask for help. After looking at her food diary, she told me to throw the letter in the bin. She said weighing children at primary school is generally a waste of time as there are children who have a terrible diet but have a 'healthy' weight. She recommended we wait until puberty to see what DDs weight was then. Obviously keep up a healthy diet in the meantime.

Camomila · 21/06/2021 18:39

I'm fine with it - its important to have accurate statistics.
(I also happily fill in surveys by unis)

CthulhuChristmas · 21/06/2021 19:02

I think it's fine as long as both parents and children (on the day) have the ability to opt out.

My secondary school did this as part of a research study. I did it the first year, but not subsequently, because the first year I was told to stand backwards on the scale so that I wouldn't be able to see my own weight. I was quite offended by this - wasn't going to take part if the researchers were so condescending! (They also didn't send results to parents, something which would have horrified me as a self-conscious teenager.)

I think as well as causing an issue for very sporty and athletic children, puberty can make BMI a problem in upper primary. If BMI is done by age, at some point you're comparing physically pre-pubescent girls to those with breasts and hips. Early developers have enough trouble without being called overweight as well.

NCwhatsmynameagain · 21/06/2021 19:05

It’s important for us to understand this information about the population as they are growing up, so that resources, advice, interventions can be targeted appropriately.
Research shows that it can be up to half of parents whose children are overweight, who do not realise, so it’s important they get that information so that they hopefully can try to address this as the health implications in the present and future are considerable.
Just because we have a huge obesity problem in the U.K. from childhood upwards doesn’t mean we just give up and give in.

Goldenbear · 21/06/2021 19:09

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn has a good point as I certainly think some children who are thin just are, they eat plenty of junk but it doesn't effect their weight. So the system would miss those children in terms of directing parents on a healthy diet.

lordalmighty · 21/06/2021 19:19

As part of my job (medical) I measure children regularly and document their height and weight. In my experience most of them aren't really bothered by it, some are visibly anxious and some become upset. I would say up to age 5 they don't really care at all or want to know if they are taller than a mountain etc but certainly the older they get the more aware they are of their body size and shape. I never read out the weight and for every single child I always say 'yep, that's perfect' as I don't want them to give it another thought. I will say though, if I was weighing them with all their classmates it would be very, very different. My own child has become overweight over the past few months and whilst I am working on it with her (more exercise/less snacks) I would never weigh her at home as I dont want her to even think about it.

Boomisshiss · 21/06/2021 19:33

@Postdatedpandemic

Maybe parents who opt out of height and weight measurements, could be referred to someone who will check if that child is being abused or has a genuine reason for not being weighed. "My child is under Mr Jones at Queen Mary's" is a fine excuse, "I don't agree with it" from an obese parent about an obese child should be followed up.
A genuine reason is they don’t want to be weighed. We don’t live in North Korea this isn’t a dictatorship we get a say in what happens to us .
Graphista · 21/06/2021 19:46

Fat shaming children in this way is horrific, it also leads to skinny shaming which my dd had to deal with as a result of this crap!

In addition it's pointless! Because the families that do care about dc weight are already keeping an eye on things and the ones that don't care will ignore it all anyway

When I was a governor we looked at the school level data which showed a really shocking % of our Year 6s were overweight

Frankly on a school wide level that should have been visually obvious anyway

Dds 3rd primary school (due to house moves) were much more subtle/laid back about this stuff BUT they included in the education healthy eating, why exercise important, how bodies are different etc, they also had a good healthy but also appealing menu for school dinners, and they had PE lessons that were less competitively based (none of this the same kids getting picked last every week crap) and more fun, lots of dance based and martial arts based stuff or silly things like ball games where each child was assigned a letter and words were spelled out according to who the ball was thrown to - a much healthier and less blame based approach.

Overall from visual observation they had pupils with a healthier range of weights, and healthier attitudes generally.

It is important for health planners, to help predict and arrange future NHS services.

Then it should be done within the nhs.

Teachers good as they are, aren't hcps and don't have specialist training in this area

Telling me my child was overweight and then listing all the health issues, doesn't really help me when I'm already doing everything I can about it while getting the balance between food/exercise/mental health right and spending sleepless nights worrying as it is.

Which proves my earlier point

Anyone thinking it's "shameful" is aware of their poor choice and the impact on their kids, but refuse to be told! They should be ashamed not to put kids first.

I absolutely put my child first!!
That's my point.

She was already shy and awkward at least partly because she was one of the tallest but also the slimmest in her class.

We learned in the summer holidays before high school this happened to be due to her having a genetic disability the symptoms of which were ignored and dismissed before this point. Dd and I were both regularly admonished for her "not eating enough" which simply wasn't true (one of the issues with the condition is a higher than average metabolism) I was even treated/spoken to as if I were starving my child at various points! Endless food diaries kept - and the veracity of them doubted!

I also have no doubt that some - not the majority necessarily but some - of the overweight kids may also have underlying medical issues that are contributing to this.

By oversimplifying the collection of data, by non hcps, with no experience or knowledge of possible contributing factors there's a risk of children and parents being blamed for the child's weight - under or over - and underlying causes being missed!

It was sheer luck we got the dx!

Her condition also makes her more susceptible to high cholesterol and blood clots so the "advice" we had from some - inc hcps - to help her to gain weight supposedly - which included increasing her intake of less healthy very fatty, high cholesterol foods. If I'd followed that advice against my instincts dd could have been made very ill or worse.

Personally having experienced horrific "traditional" PE lessons I think it's LONG since overdue that these were abandoned. I was short and skinny, being skinny it was assumed I'd be good at sport - I was not! I had asthma and poor hand eye co-ordination (which improved slightly when it became apparent in other ways I needed specs) I was actually the "weedy" kid good at academics but shit at PE - BUT I was a good dancer I took ballet, tap and modern and did well at them, I also took martial arts classes and was good at them, and I swam a lot and did so competitively for a time.

Again I attended different schools due to house moves (dad army) the PE teachers at 2 of the schools were of the old school bully type which sadly still abound I believe - perfect kind of teacher to cause mh and Ed issues! For that alone they should be banned from teaching! The PE teacher I had at one school though was great, praised everyone, found something each pupil was good at physically and gave them the opportunity to display this, and the school was better too in terms of again they allowed more freedom and flexibility in PE lessons as in they weren't all sports based. We did aerobics and silly obstacle courses and games where there wasn't a "winner" too - they were way ahead of the game! (Pardon the pun)

That 30+ years later children are STILL being subjected to competitive PE lessons, bullying teachers and the horror of constantly being picked last is ludicrous.

School meals don't appear to have improved much either. When I was at school the dinners were either sloppy bland "traditional"
Type much mocked in playground songs type food or chips with everything! Why they can't be similar to the healthier meal options they're likely to receive at home I don't know.

There's a lot to unpick regarding childhood obesity and I just don't think focusing on the child themselves without consideration for the massive influences on them is particularly helpful.

But that's what your GP is for?

Good luck making that appointment! The vast majority of gps will treat you as having wasted their time!

As a nation it's already known there are obesity issues - identifying the obesity isn't the issue - tackling the causes is. It shouldn't need to only get resources when a particular area or school is identified as having an obesity problem, the resources should be there in the first place.

I'm 48 when I was at school primary age we did some form of exercise daily, in high school 3 times a week and playtimes we were very much encouraged to be active too. That's long since gone. The parents back in the 80's that decried the selling off of playing fields were framed as making a fuss about nothing. I spent many a happy time actively playing on playing fields both in and outside of school hours, criminal that they were/are sold off.

The causes of obesity at all ages are manifold and complex.

Food environment, economics, access to healthy food and exercise options, mh support...

It's not as simple as "eat less do more" as anyone who's tried - successfully or not - to lose weight knows.

I'm overweight now and trying to lose but it's really bloody hard to shift my sense of myself as a fat person having been slim often bordering on or actually underweight most of my life. Add in mh issues and when I'm ill
I barely eat so the people who care for me and are around me are relieved when I'm eating, plus when I'm bad I seriously lack motivation and at times ability to cook and it becomes a lot more complex.

So I try and tam their diet with fat and calories where I can.

More protein is better and you have to watch that it's healthy fats too. There's a phenomenon known as "skinny outside fat inside" mostly among men who exercise a lot even excessively. They think because they are slim they can eat as unhealthily as they like but it's just as dangerous for a skinny person to have high cholesterol as a fat person. My ex (v sporty) used to get annoyed that my pulse, bp and cholesterol levels were always healthier than his even when I gained weight. He may be slim and sporty but he eats crap at times! Whereas at this point in my life I ate healthily, I naturally don't like greasy/fatty foods like fast food but he loves a mcds.

WorraLiberty · 21/06/2021 19:55

@Graphista "Fat shaming children" 🤣🤣

Collecting data in order to plan and budget for health related services, is known as fat shaming children?

Who knew?

Again, the children have no clue what their weight is unless the parents choose to 'fat shame' them by letting them know.

BananaBreakfast · 21/06/2021 20:00

@HostessTrolley it does sound as though weighing the kids prompts them to talk to each other about it, even if the parents are only sent the letters in sealed envelopes. For parents, when your child has an ED, it must be absolutely terrifying. I hope your daughter has recovered fully and is okay now.

Justgettingbye · 21/06/2021 20:08

I thought the school was just the location essentially and it's not the teachers that do the weighing and it isn't documented on school records?

Doesn't a nurse comes in and the letter comes from the local council/health service?

Happy to be corrected!

userchange8945 · 21/06/2021 20:09

Frankly on a school wide level that should have been visually obvious anyway

Schools can't direct change with new policies and procedures through assumptions "dear parents, we've noticed your kids are looking a bit fat at the moment, so we're going to start running a mile in the mornings"

Healthy children make for better students, there is a direct correlation between fat kids being poor students, it's completely within the schools' (and therefore the pupils') benefit to encourage healthy students, be that for their wellbeing AND education, and to get to that point you need data. Not visual assumptions of which would be completely subjective and very likely inaccurate.

Unfortunately childhood obesity isn't an isolated incident. You can't just pull the fat kid to the side and encourage the parent to take them to them to the Dr, 1 in 5 children are overweight in reception, 1 in 3 are overweight by year 6, shocking figures, they aren't isolated incidences, they are endemic and as such need tackling across the board. It is not just a problem for the NHS, it is having far reaching ramifications.

soooooooG · 21/06/2021 20:10

No problems with it, we don't weigh ourselves at home so it's always to know what someone weighs.

WorraLiberty · 21/06/2021 20:12

@Justgettingbye

I thought the school was just the location essentially and it's not the teachers that do the weighing and it isn't documented on school records?

Doesn't a nurse comes in and the letter comes from the local council/health service?

Happy to be corrected!

You're right

The school is just the venue.

DoingItMyself · 21/06/2021 20:12

I didn't like it when they did it to me, starting in 1961.

userchange8945 · 21/06/2021 20:13

@Justgettingbye yes I'm pretty sure the letters we had about it all were from NHS, and school has the statistical data which is invaluable.

BearOfEasttown · 21/06/2021 20:15

@cadburyegg

I don't like it, and think it's embarrassing and intrusive.

Never happened to me when I was a kid. OR when my 2 were kids ... (Now in their 20s.)

Justgettingbye · 21/06/2021 20:19

@userchange8945
@WorraLiberty

Thanks!

Some PP have said teachers aren't hcp so shouldn't be done Hmm

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 21/06/2021 20:20

there is a direct correlation between fat kids being poor students

Are they poor students because they’re fat, or are they more likely to be fat because they have other characteristics that also mean they’re more likely to be poor students? Would becoming a healthy weight make them better students? (This isn’t an argument against collecting the data, by the way.)