Is this flirting??

[SLJ161086]

Colleague at work recently got quite chatty with me over work stuff and then quickly moved to personal lives (we don't work closely but have some connection). He knows I'm going through a divorce and he has a gf. He has a v dry sense of humour and often jibes / makes jokey insults, like telling me I won't be single forever cos men can be desperate and have low standards (I'm a single mum - I know that sounds awful but he's actually a really nice person, it's a definite joke). He has a gf and does openy talk about her but I sense he's flirting with me. Like saying I'll definitely get married again and would I have any more kids etc. He also joked about me being in my mid 30s (he's two years younger) and that means I'll be all about the beige undies and until I prove otherwise he firmly believes that what I'm sporting. I think the undies chat crossed a line but do you think he is flirting with me or just general jokes? For info I don't respond to the undies chat other than laugh it off and say yeah I'm Bridget Jones what can I say haha...aarggh why do unavailable men do this! Unless I am reading too much into it and it's just all jokes?

You are being groomed with cheap rudimentary pick up artist techniques like “negging”. Look it up.

The things he’s “jokingly” said about how other men might see you, that’s probably how he thinks and he’s probably telling on himself. Keep that in mind.

Sounds like a complete douche to me!

I agree with @Icecreamsoda99

He thinks of anyone single as potentially available and is testing your boundaries.

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt to say that he might be doing this unconsciously rather than consciously but testing the water is what he is doing.

I'm guessing you are at least just a tad flattered by his apparent interest and being pleased with yourself that you would not be tempted, even by someone who shows interest.

At the very least, he is using up your emotional energy and so stopping you exploring other, potentially more emotionally satisfying outlets.

It might be worth a bit if self exploration by such negging humour speaks to you. Where did you learn that that is OK?

@MargotMoon said it even better

agree that he's negging you with a view to seeing if you are in a vulnerable enough place because of your divorce to have sex with him. Avoid!

Regardless of whether he's seriously interested in you, any man that speaks like that to another woman while in a relationship is a scumbag and I wouldn't go near him

-He's open about being in a relationship.
-He's aware that you are a single mum, who some people still see as easy to manipulate because of the vulnerable place they are in emotionally.
-He makes negative comments to you about your attractiveness to get you to prove him wrong (by showing him your pants).

What he's doing is probing to find out if your self esteem is low enough enough to accept being his "other woman". This rings big red alarms bells. You should avoid him like the plague.

Sounds like a major creep and hugely disrespectful towards his girlfriend. I would avoid him like the plague tbh, he shouldn’t be making crude jokes about a colleague’s underwear.

@ScottishNewbie

Regardless of whether he's seriously interested in you, any man that speaks like that to another woman while in a relationship is a scumbag and I wouldn't go near him

This.

He doesn’t sound like a nice person, he sounds like a misogynistic creep with a low opinion of you. Sorry OP

I wouldn't read any of that conversation as flirtation, it sounds deeply unpleasant.

Insults =/= flirtation

Insults = insults

He sounds creepy ! Poor girlfriend. I wouldn’t find him attractive at all and would avoid