MNetters, please be the jury. I am a regular posting on behalf of an old friend - we both really want to know if this scenario is normal.
The lady is single, early 50s, and after a high-flying career in journalism, developed bipolar disorder in her 40s. Since then she's been unable to work and on benefits. She supports her elderly parents and a couple of other oldsters in the family. Volunteers for a charity.
She's currently based in Edinburgh, where rents are sky high, with no hope of permanence as her landlord is redeveloping her shabby-but-gorgeous Georgian flat. Savings long gone. She needs a roof over her head.
She's been offered a bedsit in Wales by a history charity (she wrote for history mags).
But here's the rub... her family don't want her to move. They are, by any standards, very well off. Parents house must be worth 3m, they spend 3k a week on dementia care for her mother. Uncle spends another 3k a week on private healthcare for alcoholic aunt.
The elders did well from inheritance, but didn't pass anything down. They refused to help with a flat deposit way back when so she was stuck renting.
The elders dont want her to move, and are pressuring her with dire warnings of what might happen to them if she stops the daily care. But they don't want to help her with a home,
Please vote.
YABU = suck it up, no one has a duty of care to a disabled adult child
YANBU = Family cuts both ways. With this lot, she'd be a lot better off moving as far away as possible.