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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think that bringing your morning coffee to church is a bit inappropriate?

399 replies

NannyPlumsSnarkyWand · 20/06/2021 09:43

I'm pretty sure I'm just being a judgy old gimmer - thought a Sunday morning AIBU thrashing would be in order.

Just passed a group of school mums as they were coming back from church. They were all carrying portable coffee flasks and sipping from them.

I mean, yes I understand the need for coffee in the morning, but part of me thought - is there really such a pressing need to bring your coffee to a formal church service? Can you really not go a whole hour (less actually) without coffee? And then there's something just a bit odd about it. You're going to church, not the theatre, I don't know - my experience of church services is formal. It would have been seen as inappropriate to bring coffee - you have your tea and coffee after the service - but then as I say, maybe I'm just an old gimmer. Is this normal at church now?

So just to caveat this - no, it doesn't occupy a great deal of my thoughts; yes, I do have other more important things to worry about; yes I do have friends; no, I'm not judging their worth as people based on whether they drink coffee during the service or not, I just had a passing thought and wondered what others thought.

OP posts:
Lilibet2022 · 20/06/2021 10:31

YNBU for suggesting they don't need a cup of coffee superglued to their hands 24/7, I remember the nail-biting swerves with adults with hot cuppas in their hands and small children running to their classes when my DCs were at primary. Used to think the same thing. They can grab that on the way back from dropping DCs off.
YABaBU in regards to my experience of church. Tea and coffee was always served after the meeting and with corona many will either not be permitted to or chose not to do this. Yes the chances are rare but I know of someone who caught Covid after accepting a cup of tea from one of their customers houses they were working on.

Lilibet2022 · 20/06/2021 10:33

@TellmewhoIam do it. I'm still seething over the very expensive but actually rather nice soup I payed over the odds for when I got caught in a deluge on one of my walks.

DeffoJeffo · 20/06/2021 10:35

This thread is cracking me up....how uptight do people think churches are??
I take a coffee every week to church, and if I forget I get given one by the church!
I'm normally knackered and would like to wake up a bit so I have a vague hope of concentrating!!
I'm a vicars daughter and everything!

EssentialHummus · 20/06/2021 10:35

I dunno. I can sort of imagine the scenario where a group of friends agreed to have a catch-up after church and so brought coffee along in a thermos. Doesn't mean they were drinking during the service. I'd find the latter odd and disrespectful if they were.

Original poster
NannyPlumsSnarkyWand · 20/06/2021 10:35

Ooh, this discussion has taken an unforeseen turn.

OP posts:
deathbypostitnote · 20/06/2021 10:38

Coffee is often served at church services now.

You are being ridiculous.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 20/06/2021 10:38

@saleorbouy

I'm with you on this one, adults seem to have become like young children these days and tend to have a need to carry a coffee or a bottle of water constantly to sign from. What's wrong with just having a good drink and carrying on for an hour or so before another?
Back in the day - children weren’t constantly drinking & snacking in public
Camomila · 20/06/2021 10:38

As long as they don't drink the coffee during the service I think it is a nice idea to have a coffee together after...I really miss the coffee and biscuits after mass.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 20/06/2021 10:39

I’d find it odd too if people were drinking coffee during the church service. I wouldn’t dwell on it - as you are not dwelling on it either - but I would note it and ponder. Just as you are. What I think is likely is that they made coffee at home and took it with them to drink afterwards. Decent reusable cups will keep the coffee warm for a good while. I think it’s more likely that they didn’t drink it through the service (surely the coffee would be gone had they done that) but saved it for as they were leaving.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 20/06/2021 10:40

@Confuzzled12345

You are being unreasonable... Maybe attend the church to find what goes on? You might like it ☺️
She does, @Confuzzled12345, she does. (Hint: it’s in OP’s first post)
PurpleyBlue · 20/06/2021 10:40

There's nothing wrong with them drinking it during the service. That might be how they connect with God.

CoffeeWithCheese · 20/06/2021 10:41

@3WildOnes

My church has a community cafe. People often grad a bacon sandwich and coffee before the service and you often see people finishing their coffees during the service. Tea and coffee after the service too and lots of people bring a reusable coffee cup as good for the environment. My church is very open and and not that formal though.
One of our local ones has similar - the cafe also has soft play in it and an area with PlayStations and lego for the "youngsters" (adults who are still big kids).
DisgruntledPelican · 20/06/2021 10:41

I wonder if the people who think carrying bottles of water and takeaway drinks is weird are the people who always have urine infections, dehydration headaches etc. There seems to be a generational divide IME…

Snacking is different. But carrying water is normal.

KateTheEighth · 20/06/2021 10:41

@Crockof

I suppose Jesus would just be glad that they'd turned up

More likely Jesus knows the real reason they are there to work the school system

Haha - spot on!

TheWelshposter · 20/06/2021 10:42

This has given me flashback to my childhood and having to fast an hour before church. I was absolutely terrified of what might happen if I ate a crisp after 11am. Never found out Hmm .

Maybe they were up extremely early and wanted to stay awake.

bishbashbosh99 · 20/06/2021 10:43

Maybe didn't want to use plastic cups so took their own and had them filled (if they do tea coffee after service there). Def not a big deal either way tho, I think I would do it and God probs doesn't mind

KindnessCrusader · 20/06/2021 10:43

Not at all weird! Our church serves coffee after the service and we are all encouraged to bring our own reusable cup.
Going to church doesn't need to be a miserable experience Grin

Conchitastrawberry · 20/06/2021 10:43

Really?! What difference would it makes where they were drinking it!

coogee · 20/06/2021 10:46

During the service it wouldn’t be unusual at some of the extreme happy clappy churches I have attended. I have seen people do it. I don’t actually think it would raise much of an eyebrow at my local C of E either as long as there was no slurping during the Lord’s Prayer. It certainly wouldn’t after the service had finished.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 20/06/2021 10:47

@NannyPlumsSnarkyWand

Ooh, this discussion has taken an unforeseen turn.
Ah, come on, OP - you must have had an inkling as you were posting in AIBU Wink
godmum56 · 20/06/2021 10:47

weird post.....accusing people of doing something that you have no evidence that they did?

iklboo · 20/06/2021 10:47

@mam0918 - I know. I was quoting another poster.

maddiemookins16mum · 20/06/2021 10:49

People cannae go an hour these days without a drink of any sort. We always had tea/coffee and cake after our morning service.

sashh · 20/06/2021 10:49

I never quite understand the need for people to have a drink with them constantly whether it be coffee or a water bottle.

I take a drug called amitriptyline, it means my mouth is constantly dry so I always have water with me.

OP

They were having coffee after church, a very normal thing at lots of churches.

I've seldom been to church in my adult life, but the one time I went, I vaguely recall it being explained how to behave, because a lot of people attending didn't know. (Attendance at the church could give access to the best state primary school in a London borough.)

About 50% of my family are at least nominally RC, at every wedding and funeral I've been to someone who is not RC ends up taking communion.

Some times even after the priest has explained that this is communion, if you are not RC then you are welcome to come up for a blessing.

Anonapapple · 20/06/2021 10:50

I once went to a service where people got up to put the kettle on and make themselves a cuppa in the middle of the sermon. It was so distracting! A coffee cup would be much more appreciated in that case! Only God truly know our hearts. I have coffee and Jesus time every morning (at home though) and don't see the harm in bringing a coffee as long as it wasnt distracting or created a disrespectful environment (slurping etc).