...to think that bringing your morning coffee to church is a bit inappropriate?

[NannyPlumsSnarkyWand]

I'm pretty sure I'm just being a judgy old gimmer - thought a Sunday morning AIBU thrashing would be in order.

Just passed a group of school mums as they were coming back from church. They were all carrying portable coffee flasks and sipping from them.

I mean, yes I understand the need for coffee in the morning, but part of me thought - is there really such a pressing need to bring your coffee to a formal church service? Can you really not go a whole hour (less actually) without coffee? And then there's something just a bit odd about it. You're going to church, not the theatre, I don't know - my experience of church services is formal. It would have been seen as inappropriate to bring coffee - you have your tea and coffee after the service - but then as I say, maybe I'm just an old gimmer. Is this normal at church now?

So just to caveat this - no, it doesn't occupy a great deal of my thoughts; yes, I do have other more important things to worry about; yes I do have friends; no, I'm not judging their worth as people based on whether they drink coffee during the service or not, I just had a passing thought and wondered what others thought.

The constantly sipping thing annoys me too. Some people can't go for a walk unless they've got a takeaway coffee to sip at as they go.
And then they chuck the cups all over the place.

@Bumpsadaisie
You passed a group of people coming BACK from church at 9.30am?

It happens. I went to communion at 8am and was back home by 9.

Fair enough, I'm a Jew married to an agnostic Methodist so I have no idea. Gosh you people start early

I drank water during the service today. I may even have sipped it. Does that make me a heretic?

(I was singing in the worship band and my mask makes my mouth dry.)

Perhaps they take coffee as they have to turn down the wine as they're driving?

Or they have drunk so much communion wine they are trying to sober up with coffee before they get home (it doesn't work by the way)

As someone who does survive on cups of coffee wherever I go I would never in a million years bring a cup to Mass. I once had to bring a bottle of water as I had such a sore throat (years ago pew Covid) and still couldn’t bring myself to drink it during the service!

I'm assuming if regular churchgoers they weren't drinking during the actual service. I am a Catholic and have seen parents and relations at First Holy Communions drinking from disposable cups and chewing gum during the Mass. It shows a distinct lack of respect and makes me a bit ragey. What's worse is, a large majority of the parents want their child to make their First Communion but for some unfathomable reason never have any intention of going near a church ever again... but they could at least show some basic respect and mannerd respect while they are actually there.

@BethTTC

I'm in the US, but this is very common. In fact I always stop at the Starbucks drive thru on the way! Though it is more than an hour, we get there at 9.30 and leave at 12.15ish. But it isn't one of those formal legalistic Churches, I regularly wear jeans!

I and many others wear jeans to go to a Catholic, which I assume is one of those formal legalistic churches you're talking about. Are we not supposed to?

@AChickenCalledDaal you can expect the Spanish inquisition for that!

I took a sip from my toddler's sippy cup during the sermon this morning - because I forgot my water bottle and was thirsty.

Pre-pandemic I dropped in to a large and fancy church of architectural interest and had to play Dodge the Biscuits after...lovely silvery people kept forcing hot drinks and snacks on anyone within 5 metres of the foyer

YABU, the church needs buns on seats, our local formal, stuffy one is always empty, the other, more welcoming one is always full.

Why does it matter? Our church serves tea/coffee and biscuits before the service (pre-Covid). Sometimes I don't get to drink mine before the service starts because I'm sorting out the DC, so I drink it once the service starts and they settle down. It's nice to get a hot cup of tea in relative peace. No one bats an eyelid, and ours isn't a particularly informal church.

Occasionally we have hot dogs or bacon butties before the service; generally I don't get peace to eat those until the service starts either.

I don't need to constantly have a cup of tea in my hand, but something about it does encourage chat and a feeling of homeliness or something.

If they felt comfortable with it, then it's probably absolutely fine. All churches are different.

Bums! Although I’m sure buns would draw more people in too!

[quote Icecreamsoda99]@AChickenCalledDaal you can expect the Spanish inquisition for that!

I took a sip from my toddler's sippy cup during the sermon this morning - because I forgot my water bottle and was thirsty. [/quote]
LOL but no-one expects the Spanish Inquisition

This in spades. I want to go but have put it off for years as I've always had a baby or a toddler. It would be nice to bring a babe in arms like marge Simpson but getting them to sit still for an hour and a half is hard. impossible

Our church has a baby/toddler section and a young kids section set up at the side. We used to have a crèche but parents didn’t like dropping the babies/toddlers in (nothing wrong with it, parents no longer seem comfortable if their kids aren’t with them), so it was decided to set up areas within the church. There is a baby area with those big form mats where they can roll, crawl and use the baby gym, activity mats. There is a toddler area where there are toddler activities like cars and my little ponies etc. it’s surrounded by foam seating benches high enough they can’t get out but comfortable enough for parents to sit on and be able to get to their toddler immediately if it looks like a smack down is about to occur with another child. Then there’s the young child area where they can stretch out on the floor to do colouring sheets, sticker books etc. All toys are noise free and the idea is yo keep them busy/distracted with play. Occasionally a child cracks it and is taken straight out by a parent but it works really well, they are generally really quiet and not a problem at all.

But according to most responses in this thread, this combined with the coffee cart and ability to take drinks in to the church should have God absolutely raging. Funnily the church hasn’t been struck by lightening yet.

@RichardMarxisinnocent both sexes are expected to dress respectfully but this varies according to communoty and climate. In the RC Cathedral here I've seen long sleeves, high neck, with a micromini skirt.

Gosh, and this is why I don't go to church. Someone could think I'm only there to get my DC's in the right school or tut that I'm acting inappropriately, not worshiping my God in my own way. I remember once being told off for jeans to a service. Like Jesus had an opinion about Levi's?

@Alittlebitlostrightnow it's the Contigo Byron travel mug, they come in various sizes.I'm not sure if it will let me post a link but I'll try... www.amazon.co.uk/Contigo-Stainless-Leakproof-Easy-Clean-Vivacious/dp/B07TRDWHXG/ref=sr_1_6?dchild=1&keywords=contigo+travel+mug&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1624188855&sr=8-6
Honestly, I've tried SO many and this is the one that impresses me the most. Tesco sell them too. Be careful to hide it though, maybe see if it comes in a more subtle colour, we wouldn't want you judged with your sippy cup!

@DeeDimer there are judgy people everywhere...see the curtain-twitching threads! I hope you find a warm and messy church...they do exist! I normally trip over things and swear and nobody has told me off.

@MyrtlethePurpleTurtle

So just to caveat this - no, it doesn't occupy a great deal of my thoughts; yes, I do have other more important things to worry about; yes I do have friends; no, I'm not judging their worth as people based on whether they drink coffee during the service or not, I just had a passing thought and wondered what others thought

If I ever dare start a thread in AIBU, I think I will include the above disclaimer

I feel, however, that my caveats have had little effect against some of the ire.

No judgment, not really. More of a musing. I feel as though I've lit the faith-based touchpaper though...

Jesus himself invented the flat white to save Christians from that awful instant church service coffee. YABVU.

Tea and coffee after the service is normal. The social part is the main reason some of my relatives go to church.

She does, @Confuzzled12345, she does. (Hint: it’s in OP’s first post)

I’ve read and re read the first post. I don’t think the OP is a churchgoer, it certainly doesn’t say she is - unless she was taking her dog….

YABVVU. After all, the Bible says: Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink".

@DeeDimer

Gosh, and this is why I don't go to church. Someone could think I'm only there to get my DC's in the right school or tut that I'm acting inappropriately, not worshiping my God in my own way. I remember once being told off for jeans to a service. Like Jesus had an opinion about Levi's?

Being able to wear jeans was the big selling point when my friends were trying to persuade me to go over 38 years ago. I honestly thought we were past all that and almost all churches had dropped any kind of dress code. For the most part it's probably high churches or RC churches that have held on to that.

Having read this thread I can only imagine that some non churchgoers eyes would pop out of their heads at the informality and "weirdness" of some of the places I've attended. Drinking your coffee during the service would be the least of it.

Worship should be a living thing, not something bound by rules and judgment. I say that as someone who hasn't been a member of a church for about 10 years now. I have my reasons, but none of them are about coffee drinking or dis-respect during the service.