What time WIBU to call police as DS18 not home yet?

[SunglassesSeventy]

Not sure what to do.

DS18 hasn't come home yet after night out. He last messaged at midnight to say he was meeting a friend after his late work shift and that his phone was running out charge. He said 'so I may be back like 1.20' in his last message.

I'm trying to stay calm and force myself to think that the most likely scenario is that him and the friend have gone to sit in a park somewhere, but it's unlike him to be home so much later than he's told me, so I am also feeling worried.

Not sure what to do. Feels a bit silly to call police but how long do I wait?

Are his mates fairly trustworthy? They wouldn't leave him?

My assumption is that he left the group of mates he was drinking with and just went to meet one friend who had been at work. The friend who he met from work is reliable and nice, but I have no way of knowing if the friend has gone home and my son is floating around on his own now.

Thank you for responding. I feel a bit alone here in the middle of the night. DH is asleep and he's also been out drinking, I know if I wake him he'll be fairly useless and incoherent.

Can you text the friend?

Do you have his mates number or messenger/WhatsApp?
If he finished a late shift at midnight then was meeting his mate I’d leave it and try not to fret too much.
If nothing in a couple hours then I’d start panicking xx I’d say they’ve got chatting and not realised the time - hopefully he’s already home by the time you read this x

Oh dear. My poor mother had many a sleepless night over me.

How's your area? Pretty safe? I mean if he's had a nap in a park it's warm enough.

Sorry cross post x

I don't have the friend's number. I've just followed him on Instagram but he'll need to see it and accept my request before I can message him.

Thanks for reassurance. Hopefully he's just pissed and lost track of time.

He's just come in right now! Hurrah!

Phew. So relieved.

I can sleep now. Thanks again for responses.

He's 18.

It's only 230.

Unless you mean he's been gone for more than 24 hours?

He met his friend at 12. They're probably boozeing happily somewhere.

Where do you live?

Are they local- walking distance to where they live or a shortish cab?

Or in s big city and they all live miles away.

Does the mate have his own place?

I understand your worry but he's 18 and only an hour late, yes?

Can you contact any of his mates on Facebook? It will MORTIFY him but might set your mind at ease?

Honestly I think it’s too early to worry or call the police. It’s normal for teenagers.

And you’re not alone. MN is here

Oh cool.

Sleep well OP!

Hes out with mates with alcohol involved. Hes just over an hour late, its not that bad. If it was day time I'd doubt you'd call police. I used to roll in at 4am with various stories. I knew I was late but was having far too much of a good time to call home. Id give it a few hours yet. Doubt police would do anything at such an early stage

Cross posted. So glad!!!

Oh dear I lived alone at 16 🙈 can’t imagine calling the police over an 18 year old coming home late

I used to be out all night from 16 and DH too.

Things have changed so much!

@SunglassesSeventy

He's just come in right now! Hurrah!

Thank goodness!

Okay, I don’t know your 18 yo, I only know my 18 yo so take what I say however you like.
If my DS sent me that and then didn’t turn up by 1:20 I’d assume he’d anticipated he’d be late home but been wrong about how late.
So I think he was letting you know he’ll be really late but unsure what exact time if you know what I mean?
It’s a pain that his battery has gone though.
If my local police force is anything to go by they wouldn’t mind if you gave 101 a call with your concerns, I reckon our local police would probably locate our DS and bring/ask him to come home (but we’re a really small town) so could be worth a quick call, they won’t mind.

Oh cross post, welcome home to your DS!
I totally understand though, it’s so hard at this age!
Wishing you a good night’s sleep 😴

Have a great sleep.

Ahh glad he's home, get some rest 😊

Thanks for all the responses - can see from what a few of you are saying that is normal for teens then?

It's my first teen and that was my first experience of him ever being later than expected and my imagination started running away with me. He's done most of his drinking so far at parties or at sleepovers so he doesn't yet have much experience of getting home drunk so my imagination had him in ditches and rivers etc!

It'd be easier if he did just leave home tbh and then I wouldn't know! I left home at 16 and even at 14 I was terrible and going out until very late at clubs etc.

Weirdly, mobile phones make it worse as you get used to being able to contact them easily so it feels stressful when you can't.

Next time I'll just try and go to sleep and not worry.

Yes agree OP we had much more freedom and mobile phones are certainly a part of it.

Remember your own teen years when this happens.

You could ask him to text/ from a mates phone if his is out of battery if he's going to be out past 2 or something. Or get him a charging pack thingy.

I was the same as you- getting home at 9am not infrequently from about 16!

And you say he's sensible so you haven't got much to worry about :) (but I understand why you do!)