AIBU to wonder what you do with your children in school holidays whilst you’re at work?

[foxesandtoadstools]

My children are 7 and 10 and I was a stay at home parent for their first years and have now been working towards an Accounting degree and will be starting my final year in September. Which brings me to my question… this time next year I will be working full time and I have absolutely no idea what people do with their children in the school holidays! My partner works very long hours so can’t provide any support with this. My mum is local but I can hardly ask her to have them for a five week summer holiday (and the other eight or nine weeks off a year). So what should I be looking at in preparation? Summer camps? Do they even exist in half terms? We live on the Isle of Wight too to make things even more tricky as we don’t tend to have a lot of organisations for this sort of thing. I guess my other option would be a childminder, but I don’t know what age they even go up to? And how long do I need to be doing this before they can be at home while I’m at work? 13ish maybe?

I promise I am usually a pretty competent parent but I feel like I’m entering a completely foreign world where everyone else knows how it works but I’m in the dark!

Holidays are the scariest bit of going back to work, but you just need to look at everyone else managing it and trust that you will too. We've always worked out a patchwork system of childcare swaps, lift shares, clubs, an occasional grandparent. I try to limit it to 2 weeks in clubs over the summer and the deal is they HAVE to do 2 weeks but I give them as many options as I can. If I worked FT they'd have to do 3 or 4 weeks. Trouble is the best and cheaper ones don't need to advertise much. You can pay £££ for a pretty basic offering from a national chain, or similar for amazing outward bound stuff with quad biking and kayaking, or half as much for a local teacher quietly running a coding club, who your friend's friend recommends.

I don't worry too much about the cost. Even if I'm working at a loss it's only for a handful of weeks a year so it doesn't make too much of a dent in my annual income. And there are costs in having them at home in summer too, especially as they give older. The long game is it's really valuable having them doing activities they enjoy and want to go back to. It is really helpful if you, or DH, or a friend you're lift sharing with can work a few drop offs and pick ups round the day job so you are not limited to 8am-6pm childcare. Even if you think your work won't allow this, it's worth asking. It might be more accepted than you think - there are so many childcare options 9-3pmish, they'd all fold if they could only be used by SAHPs. Friends, husbands and friends' husbands to share pickups with are really helpful though.

@RosesAndHellebores

Everyone complains about childcare and school holidays but sadly they are a fact of life and the cost of covering them has to be factored into the household budget.

One's domestic responsibilities are entirely separate from an employer's contract of employment which if full-time usually renders an obligation to provide 35 to 40 hours of your dedicated time.

How families manage children and two full-time working parents is entirely up to them to organise. Compromises have to be made - work locally for less money, drop hours, take unpaid leave, etc. And then decisions about the type of care that is both most suitable and affordable.

Families chose to have children and they make decisions about work. Children come with non negotiable costs attached and those costs and standard of living are entirely the responsibility of the parents.

The IP isn't suggesting otherwise, and so far I've not seen anyone suggest it. The OP isn't asking if it's fair but for examples of how other parents manage it.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

You are also entitled to take extra unpaid parental leave every year - 18 weeks per child between when they are born and turn 18, capped at 4 weeks per child each year.

So some people will use this between age 4 and 13, 2 weeks per year, if you have 2 children that's an extra 4 weeks a year but it's not paid so you need to be able to afford it (although obviously you save on childcare and travel to work).

Don't rely on unpaid time off unless your employer is supportive. Employers are allowed to postpone or delay unpaid parental leave so you aren't guaranteed to get it during peak holiday times if it causes disruption to their business.

Who do you fancy working for? The IOW CC & St Mary's are both likely to offer more flexible working in school holidays than (say) anything in tourism & leisure. The accountancy firms will expect you to sit exams in June & Sept, with exam prep courses which will clash with May half term and the last 2 weeks in August, whether you do live on line or go across to Southampton. Start enquiring about trainee roles early next year for a September start. They are highly sought after on the Island, as the number of graduate jobs doesn't equal the number of graduates who want to return back home.

You can use childcare vouchers to pay for PGL camps, we used to save them all year and use them for a week in the summer or may half term.

Generally, I used to take 2 weeks off in the summer and my parents would have them for a week. One week at PGL and then the rest would be done as swaps with someone else or holiday club at the school.