Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder what you do with your children in school holidays whilst you’re at work?

130 replies

foxesandtoadstools · 19/06/2021 20:16

My children are 7 and 10 and I was a stay at home parent for their first years and have now been working towards an Accounting degree and will be starting my final year in September. Which brings me to my question… this time next year I will be working full time and I have absolutely no idea what people do with their children in the school holidays! My partner works very long hours so can’t provide any support with this. My mum is local but I can hardly ask her to have them for a five week summer holiday (and the other eight or nine weeks off a year). So what should I be looking at in preparation? Summer camps? Do they even exist in half terms? We live on the Isle of Wight too to make things even more tricky as we don’t tend to have a lot of organisations for this sort of thing. I guess my other option would be a childminder, but I don’t know what age they even go up to? And how long do I need to be doing this before they can be at home while I’m at work? 13ish maybe?

I promise I am usually a pretty competent parent but I feel like I’m entering a completely foreign world where everyone else knows how it works but I’m in the dark!

OP posts:
ShinyGreenElephant · 20/06/2021 08:11

I'm a teacher so have summers off, I end up with my own kids, step kids and my nieces for a lot of the time, then I often used to have DD1s friends for the odd day when their parents were stuck. Often when I had to go into work to do displays etc I would have 4 or 5 kids in tow! Do you have an obliging teacher friend who could help? Or friends mums you could do swaps with?

DavidTheDog · 20/06/2021 08:11

My partner works very long hours so can’t provide any support with this.

Well, they're his kids too, so he's going to have to put his thinking hat on.

RosesAndHellebores · 20/06/2021 08:14

@HaveringWavering every couple's working arrangements are different. My DH could not and was not able to commit to school holiday care due to the nature of his work, beyond the occasional day.

Manzanilla55 · 20/06/2021 08:14

I used to take ds to the childminder. Sometimes the local authority runs dayclubs over the school holidays but places go quick so you need to enquire ahead.

looptheloopinahulahoop · 20/06/2021 08:14

I used a mix of childminder, holiday club and my mum would come and help for a week in the summer.

Fortunately by the time ds went to secondary school and was too old for childminders and clubs, I was working part-time and mainly at home, so I could work around holiday activities.

looptheloopinahulahoop · 20/06/2021 08:15

@Dontforgetyourbrolly

For ds I used to have to plan so far in advance , drawing up timetables! A mixture of my annual leave , family, and holiday clubs . Now he is older and I have a wfh flexible job it's a bit easier .
Yes I did the timetable too!
SpnBaby1967 · 20/06/2021 08:15

DH and I split our leave across the holidays which usually manages to cover all but 3 weeks. For those 3 the younger 2 go to holiday club and my older daughter stays home binging Netflix.

skodadoda · 20/06/2021 08:16

Child minder?

TentTalk · 20/06/2021 08:17

One of the most important things for us when looking at schools was good wraparound provision, including holiday care. We both work full-time and don't have family near by. So if we aren't on annual leave, the kids are in holiday club. Thankfully they love it, but the reality is they'd have to go even if they didn't.

Shergill15 · 20/06/2021 08:17

It is a juggling act - I use a combination of annual leave, holiday clubs, working from home. The odd day begged from family/friends if all the above leaves me short of cover.

Sillawithans · 20/06/2021 08:19

I would speak to other mums in the school, maybe they are offering childcare.
My daughter is finished primary school next week so I've stuck a note on the school noticeboard for anyone looking for after school pick ups and care and for free too. I remember the absolute hell of this problem.

Alternista · 20/06/2021 08:20

I take a day off each week
My partner takes a day off each week
My Mum has them a day a week
We each try and work from home a day a week during the holidays (much easier since COVID)
Holiday clubs
Playdate swaps

Rinse and repeat in various combinations! Your partner needs to pull his weight though.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 20/06/2021 08:22

As for your partner op he needs to take annual leave too!
Me and ds dad not together any more and he is still factored in to holiday care !

BarbaraofSeville · 20/06/2021 08:33

Long term I am hoping to go self employed / work part time which will help but need a few years of experience first

Assuming you're not planning on having any more, by this time, you won't need childcare as they'll both be secondary school age so will be able to be left a lot of the time.

But you definitely need to get your DH on board. If you're both working, he needs to do half of school holiday childcare and day to day pick ups, drop offs, sick days, appointments, plus cooking, cleaning and household management. He'll just have to be more efficient at work, much of these 'long hours' are likely to be perfectionism, procrastination or avoiding responsibilities at home.

Original poster
foxesandtoadstools · 20/06/2021 08:33

@DavidTheDog

My partner works very long hours so can’t provide any support with this.

Well, they're his kids too, so he's going to have to put his thinking hat on.

Sorry I should have qualified this. They aren’t his children and their father unfortunately lives nearby but chooses not to have a relationship with them. I have however spoken to him about it and he’s going to try and help by taking some annual leave in the middle to help. It isn’t about him having a ‘big important job’ as others have said, simply that he works 50+ hour weeks to support us all and therefore can’t help with dropping off / picking up unless he’s on annual leave
OP posts:
delilahbucket · 20/06/2021 08:35

I had a childminder. DS is 13 now so he stays home on his own, but I only work two minutes walk away and I come home at lunch.

Original poster
foxesandtoadstools · 20/06/2021 08:35

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

You are also entitled to take extra unpaid parental leave every year - 18 weeks per child between when they are born and turn 18, capped at 4 weeks per child each year.

So some people will use this between age 4 and 13, 2 weeks per year, if you have 2 children that's an extra 4 weeks a year but it's not paid so you need to be able to afford it (although obviously you save on childcare and travel to work).

This is really helpful, thanks. I had no idea about that so will keep it as a backup option. It’s tricky to start a new job (planning to start June next year) and then ask for time off straight away which is why I’m concerned
OP posts:
WaterBottle123 · 20/06/2021 08:35

Divide the holidays in half. You organise 1 half and their father the other. This can be through using leave, unpaid leave or holiday clubs. Or as you've done the lions share for years he takes on the full burden.

BarbaraofSeville · 20/06/2021 08:36

Ah, OK, important point that.

But when you're working, he won't need to do overtime (is it paid?), extra work etc as you'll both be earning.

Original poster
foxesandtoadstools · 20/06/2021 08:37

@monkeysox

Most people I know who have to work summer hols use family and or friends if they have any locally or a childminder and holiday club.

What will you do for wraparound care during the week once you are working?

Thankfully their school offer 8-5 wraparound care in the term time and are talking about extending it to 5:30/6 which would make it workable but they don’t offer holiday cover
OP posts:
Original poster
foxesandtoadstools · 20/06/2021 08:38

@BarbaraofSeville

Ah, OK, important point that.

But when you're working, he won't need to do overtime (is it paid?), extra work etc as you'll both be earning.

No it’s not paid overtime. He’s salaried as a manager of a wholesaler business and they are open from 7-5 every day plus Saturday mornings and he’s expected to be on site.
OP posts:
DrDresaid · 20/06/2021 08:40

I have Annual leave
DH has annual leave
My parents take them away for a week in caravan
Football camp if I can get them in
I have more annual leave
It's constant juggling and I hate it !

TheDukeissoHot1 · 20/06/2021 08:42

There are virtually no holiday clubs where I live (rural area). We have to rely on a mixture of me taking annual leave, DH taking annual leave, kids going to childminders & (in normal times) grandparents helping out.

mutleyschuckle · 20/06/2021 08:43

Look into scallywags- I think they are based in lake now but she covers all the holidays. (I used to work in the Newport one) they are on Facebook. luckily my parents are local, retired & willing so I don't need to use it now but before I was using the school holiday clubs, taking lieu time back or swapping children with friends to cover each other's working days.

Flowerlane · 20/06/2021 08:47

Single parent here. Usually I take as much holiday as possible during the summer and my mum helps out where she can also kids summer camps.

This year my mum isn’t able to commit to any days so I’m using holiday I have left and summer camps. It’s costing a fortune for these camps prices seem to be extra high this yearSad

These kind of threads always bring out the worst in people with the ‘where is their dad in this he should be doing it, so what if he don’t see them it’s his problem’ or the best one ‘you will have to take unpaid leave from work then’ yeah like everyone can afford to do that especially single mothers. 🙄 honestly like some mumsnetters live in their own bubble and don’t think of others in different situations.

Hope you get it sorted op.

Swipe left for the next trending thread