DP smoked weed - AIBU?

[unseignorial]

I've nced for this.

Me and DP have been together for 2 years as we have a 6 month old together. Last year I found out he smoked weed occasionally and he knew i didn't like it and he agreed to stop especially as I was close to giving birth (he never smoked it around me though but I knew he was smoking it). We then moved in together and I gave birth.

Yesterday, his mum was babysitting and we met up with his friends (some are mine too but others I don't like but there was probably about 9/10 of us in total, we are also young so we are the only friends who have a baby).

We were talking to a few friends and he told me he'd be back in a minute so I assumed he was going to the toilet. He came back about 10-15 minutes later and he tried to kiss me, he smelt of weed and I asked him if he'd been smoking it, he said no and that he walked past his friends who were. I knew he was lying as he was acting strange and he then admitted he did. I didn't say anything then as I didn't want us to argue or anything.

I'm just angry at him especially as he knows I dont like him doing it and we were meant to spend time together not him disappearing to smoke weed! But aibu here?

What do you think is gonna happen if he smokes the occasional joint? He's a grown man, would be different if he was telling you you couldn't have a glass of wine (which is more damaging)

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

If DC was there then yeah it's a different story. But just the two of you with mates I wouldn't be bothered

I'm not a big fan of it myself but I have no issue with what other people self medicate with , it'll be legal soon enough

Wow - didn't realise how unusual my opinion on weed is.

I wouldn't like it at all. Not one bit. Any of it. Ever.

Each to their own though, one person's cup of tea will be another person's dishwater. It's not really fair if there is lying though - how are you supposed to make an informed decision about someone?!

He disappeared for 10-15 minutes, but it could've been longer.

I don't drink alcohol.

@Soontobe60

No I don't drink alcohol, never have.

My children are adults, yes they had calpol when younger.

I suffer severe pain from a disability, and have an incurable auto immune disease, I've been told that cannabis would help with the pain, but I will not touch it.

@unseignorial

It's not just the smell I don't like, I just don't like him smoking it especially now we have DS.

I know I cant stop him though but I wanted us to spend time together yesterday but then he smoked it.

I didn't make him promise to stop either he just told me he would, I didn't say he had too.

Yes but he only said that to please you. I think you are not understanding OP. Of course you didn’t put a gun to his head, that’s not the only way to be controlling. He didn’t say he was going to stop because he wanted to, he said he was going to stop because he wanted to please you. That’s the point.

You are being controlling because you are taking issue with his behaviour even though he’s an adult and it’s minor and it doesn’t really affect you. His choices are: stop doing the thing he wants / enjoys doing with his mates every now and then or risk annoying you. He tried to avoid choosing between the two by lying to you about what he was doing. I’m not saying it’s right he lied, but it’s perfectly understandable.

I can see why he told a lie tbh. Ok you don't like it but he doesn't do it regularly and not at home or around the baby. Your main objection seems to be that he wasn't with you for 10-15 minutes. But surely if you are out in a group both of you would be chatting to others as well as each other not glued together

[quote zukiecat]@Soontobe60

No I don't drink alcohol, never have.

My children are adults, yes they had calpol when younger.

I suffer severe pain from a disability, and have an incurable auto immune disease, I've been told that cannabis would help with the pain, but I will not touch it.[/quote]
My SIL has MS. The only thing that gets her up in the mornings a and able to function is cannabis. What are your reasons for not touching it, even if it could help with your pain?

@spaceghett0

It wouldn't bother me but the lying would. I assume he's lying because he knew you'd give him a hard time. Ultimately it's up to you to decide whether it's something you can cope with or not.

That.

He shouldn't feel the need to lie about an occasional indulgence, any more than you would about a pint of beer.

[quote zukiecat]@Soontobe60

No I don't drink alcohol, never have.

My children are adults, yes they had calpol when younger.

I suffer severe pain from a disability, and have an incurable auto immune disease, I've been told that cannabis would help with the pain, but I will not touch it.[/quote]
Sorry to butt in, but why wouldn't you touch it? Just out of curiosity!