To be over having to give up EVERYTHING due to perimenopause

[Edenspirits]

• Can’t tolerate alcohol anymore- even a couple of drinks give me a massive hangover
• Bread makes me massively bloated and I have to really watch what I eat as I get piled really easily 🙄
• Chocolate gives me a headache
• Tea gives me a massive headache
• have to watch everything I eat as the slightest deviation and I put on half a stone by barely looking
• the slightest deviation to my routine and I don’t sleep 😴

I feel like I barely recognise my own body!

Sigh- it’s SO dull!
Aibu to be really really really over perimenopause! Waiting for HRT from the doc and ready hope it helps!

Oh toffeepopcorn that’s awful.

The side effects can vary as we all react differently to hormones and to different types of HRT but there are so many it should be possible to find ones that suit you. The most troubling side effects I had were regular monthly bleeding again after no periods for over a year and pmt symptoms but they were a walk in the park compared with the relentless hot flushes, drenching night sweats, aching joints, thinning hair, exhaustion, dry eyes and more. I don’t know how I’d have coped without HRT. Within 3 days the flushes, sweats, aches had completely gone and I had 6 years of freedom until the company decided to stop making the HRT that I was on. Since then it’s been a real trial and error to find one that doesn’t cause bleeding/pmt but really they are an inconvenience and not a reason for me to stop taking anything as the benefits far outweigh the downsides. There is no need to suffer in silence. I’d tried all the usual things like diet, exercise, supplements before HRT and they were no help at all.

I don't think anyone has mentioned the Menopause Matters Forum? [https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/] which I've found a good, supportive place for info about peri-meno/meno related stuff (although, like pps, I'd never heard of peri-meno until I was past that stage)...

... which brings me to another topic, vaginal atrophy (proper name of which is now Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause). Bloody awful and debilitating and, if you're afflicted, lasts forever so doesn't taper off post meno as a lot of other symptoms do. Can be successfully treated, but treatment needs to be for the rest of your life and is best started early. I strongly recommend Jane Lewis' book 'Me and my Menopausal Vagina' (actually, for all women, not just those who may currently affected). It's written with humour and is an easy, informative read.

Am guessing the link hasn't worked. Hope this will [www.menopausematters.co.uk]

@toffeebutterpopcorn

What are the downsides of HRT? I’m feeling so crap I’d do anything to feel human again. At the moment I’m just hanging around waiting for death (and I’m not being melodramatic here).

Then you should seriously consider it. I don't know that there are many side effects - I've lost weight actually. I spent most of last year, pre-HRT, lying on top of my bed feeling shite, and the dog didn't even get walked. As you say, it feels like your life has ended. I remember thinking that if I got Covid, I felt so awful that I wouldn't be able to fight it.

Obviously it leads to a slight increase in BC risk, but excess weight and alcohol (and being sedentary I'd imagine) are far bigger risks. The oestrogel/utrogestan combi seems to carry the most minimal risk of side effects etc. Hopefully you have a good GP who will be sympathetic and helpful.

This post has been a revelation!

Weight gain on belly
Sore achy bones and joints
Anxiety
Low mood
Itchy skin

And a new joy this weekend of night sweats and hot flushes. I thought I'd pissed myself in my sleep, the bed was wet through!

Ah my people. I’m 47. Name changed in case I do go rogue 😀

On Friday I came frighteningly close to murdering DH in Tesco’s in an epic row over a fucking panini. He is yet to learn when is best to keep his mouth shut and not to continue pushing my buttons because I can’t bloody help myself. I did apologise. As did he. I maintain I was still right. 😂

I can’t sleep. If I don’t need a wee a dozen times (yep @Legoandbarefeet I hear you) I’m pouring with sweat. Both of which leave me knackered and irritable.

I have spots to rival anything Adrian mole had.

I ache everywhere (I do have hyper mobility syndrome but this has worsened it) and could sleep all day.

I have no interest in anything, sex included and my get up and go got up and went about six months ago. I get no joy from food or drink or any of the things that used to make me smile.

Spoke to the GP and she sent me for bloods 3 weeks ago. I apparently need tests 6 weeks apart so waiting for the next lot. Might call tomorrow because a lot can happen in a month, remember the movie ‘falling down’? That.
Ive been on the mini pill for years due to heavy periods and haven’t had a period for about ten years other than a small breakthrough bleed a few months ago so no idea if I’m still regular or not, but frankly the idea of coming off it and seeing fills me with more rage. DH had the snip many years ago so at least that’s not in the mix.

I have found evening primrose oil capsules help, but now I really do need to control this rage. It’s horrific.

Phone your GP tomorrow or fill online form in tonight if there is one with your practice it does help to talk to them and get interim advice. I'm sorry

@Verstappen, you are 47 and have night sweats, severe mood swings, zero libido, aching joints and crashing fatigue. That should be enough for your GP to diagnose menopause, and offer help. It can be done over the phone. The NHS are meant to abide by the NICE guidelines. So many GPs seem to disregard them. Your doctor should not be ordering blood tests. Google the NICE advice (I think it might be pinned on the Mumnet Menopause board, actually) and ring your doctor and be very, very firm. Six weeks is a long time to wait midsummer, and it's all utterly pointless too - your FSH levels can be all over the place. Good luck.

@RainbowRaine Yes mine still works, however you probably need an increased dose

Just reading through this so interesting.

I am 46 and experiencing similar issues - for me anxiety, hormonal headaches, anger and head fog. Terrible heart palpitations.

For the heart palpitations - potassium tablets have helped massively. Not long after taking a tablet I can literally feel the awful fluttery sensation that typically precedes my palpitations go away.

I have also been taking DIM plus. It really helps. The first week of taking this is horrendous - insane headaches but after the first week it really levels out and I feel more alert than I have in years. The rage has largely subsided and I feel a lot more 'balanced'.

I'm quite angry reading this. I am reading list after list of symptoms I had and struggled with for years, going back constantly to my GP wondering what the hell was up with me. They did blood tests and absolutely shoved anti depressants at me constantly but never once suggested it was menopause related because I was still having regular periods. It seems now that it was probably all related to perimenopause and could have been helped with HRT but this was never discussed. Two different female GPs!

I’ve got a gp phone appointment at 10am, last night I got up 4 times to go to the loo, I just cannot go on with this amount of brain fog abs exhausted. No doubt I’ll get fobbed of as being depressed though ….

@junipertree2 I've called the GP. Despite best resolve to be firm I ended up sobbing down the phone to the receptionist, not what I'd planned but I think it probably helped to get my point across. There are no appointments today but she's going to speak to the GP for me and see what can be done.

When I explained all this to the nurse the other week she told me I was young for menopause. I'm forty fucking seven. Thats not young for it and frankly today I'm annoyed at the hoops I'm having to jump through.

I follow a Facebook page called Happy Hormones. They provide so much information to do with how hormones work and how to counter peri and menopause symptoms. It's very interesting and worth taking a look.

[quote Verstappen]@junipertree2 I've called the GP. Despite best resolve to be firm I ended up sobbing down the phone to the receptionist, not what I'd planned but I think it probably helped to get my point across. There are no appointments today but she's going to speak to the GP for me and see what can be done.

When I explained all this to the nurse the other week she told me I was young for menopause. I'm forty fucking seven. Thats not young for it and frankly today I'm annoyed at the hoops I'm having to jump through.[/quote]
My mum was 46 when her periods stopped. During covid we have found emailing the best result. Our surgery the phone system crashed. My mum went so crazy she was found in a cinema seat having overdosed on pills and whiskey

@justasking111 I'm in for a phone consult at 9am so thats a start.

Funny you say that about your Mum. Mine was an older Mum and the timing was such that she hit menopause around the time my teenage hormones went a bit nuts. As a teen I didn't understand the things she did. I remember one night I came home to my Dad complaining about the state of my room, I knew I'd left it spotless but it was trashed. Mum had thrown everything everywhere and blamed me. Another night Dad came home from work to find her hiding in the shed.

Our rows were epic and sometimes violent. We absolutely detested each other for several years. Back in those days HRT wasn't really a thing so she went through it and it took years for our relationship to recover. Of course now with the benefit of hindsight I can look back and completely understand where the crazy behaviour came from.

Hope your Mum got the treatment she needed, I can completely understand that feeling of utter desperation.

My mother went into my room and cut up all my pretty clothes including a very tame two piece bikini because boys were looking at me. My MIL was sectioned they wanted to use ECT on her thankfully FIL refused. The children had a nanny after she started throwing knives at my OH. The only assistance in those days was alcohol

So glad you are getting somewhere @Verstappen. Honestly that nurse had no business telling you that 47 was too young for menopause. Yet we hear this same phrase from medical profs, again and again. We're individuals, not programmed like bloody central heating systems to flick off at the age of 51.

@Verstappen

Ah my people. I’m 47. Name changed in case I do go rogue 😀

On Friday I came frighteningly close to murdering DH in Tesco’s in an epic row over a fucking panini. He is yet to learn when is best to keep his mouth shut and not to continue pushing my buttons because I can’t bloody help myself. I did apologise. As did he. I maintain I was still right. 😂

I can’t sleep. If I don’t need a wee a dozen times (yep @Legoandbarefeet I hear you) I’m pouring with sweat. Both of which leave me knackered and irritable.

I have spots to rival anything Adrian mole had.

I ache everywhere (I do have hyper mobility syndrome but this has worsened it) and could sleep all day.

I have no interest in anything, sex included and my get up and go got up and went about six months ago. I get no joy from food or drink or any of the things that used to make me smile.

Spoke to the GP and she sent me for bloods 3 weeks ago. I apparently need tests 6 weeks apart so waiting for the next lot. Might call tomorrow because a lot can happen in a month, remember the movie ‘falling down’? That.
Ive been on the mini pill for years due to heavy periods and haven’t had a period for about ten years other than a small breakthrough bleed a few months ago so no idea if I’m still regular or not, but frankly the idea of coming off it and seeing fills me with more rage. DH had the snip many years ago so at least that’s not in the mix.

I have found evening primrose oil capsules help, but now I really do need to control this rage. It’s horrific.

I'm the same age and had no issue getting HRT. Try a female doctor, preferably a younger one

How do you know if you are peri menopausal I have googled it but real life experience is often more helpful I'm 41 and I sometimes wonder if that's what's up with me ??

I understood blood tests to rule out other potential causes of symptoms is good practice. But there is no need to wait and repeat 6 weeks later? If the bloods reveal there is no other reason, symptoms should be treated as relating to menopause, i.e. hrt offered.

@Chewbecca

I understood blood tests to rule out other potential causes of symptoms is good practice. But there is no need to wait and repeat 6 weeks later? If the bloods reveal there is no other reason, symptoms should be treated as relating to menopause, i.e. hrt offered.

I will add to this I was told earlier my blood work was’ perfect’. Definitely no underlying issues so as you say, why the hell am I waiting for this and struggling?

Spoke to my BF earlier about it, she’s two years older than me and also peri. Her Gp has been telling her for 18 months she’s not yet ‘ready’ for hrt. I’m raging on her behalf too. This really isn’t good enough for any of us is it?

@Cowbells

I'm quite angry reading this. I am reading list after list of symptoms I had and struggled with for years, going back constantly to my GP wondering what the hell was up with me. They did blood tests and absolutely shoved anti depressants at me constantly but never once suggested it was menopause related because I was still having regular periods. It seems now that it was probably all related to perimenopause and could have been helped with HRT but this was never discussed. Two different female GPs!

I'm appalled that so many of you have been rebuffed by your GPs for HRT. Cowbells It goes against NICE guidelines for doctors to force antidepressants on women who present with peri symptoms. Anyone over the age of 45 should be offered HRT without question if they have symptoms. I still have fairly regular periods but I could also check off the A-Z of ailments listed on this thread – @toffeebutterpopcorn I have rubbed my forehead raw because of itchiness! – and my GP prescribed me HRT on the spot. I'm on week four of estrogen gel and progesterone tabs and already I feel so much better and apparently it doesn't kick even in properly for 12 weeks! I'm going to feel epic by then!

berryhead2013 If you're experiencing the symptoms others have mentioned, chances are you are at the start of it. You can be peri for up to ten years before menopause. I'm 49 and have just started HRT and I reckon I first started being peri around 42.

justasking111 Bloody hell! I remember as a kid in the 70s my granddad saying it was my nan's "nerves" when she was going through "the change". Sometimes I don't think our understanding of menopause has moved on at all.