My father touched my sister

[Sophia43361]

My sister who's is 23 has stated that my father has touched her inappropriately one night, (in her thigh area and buttox) she said he did it when no one else was around. She is distraught she also said he asked her not to tell anyone and that it won't happen again. What do I do? I am older than her

Has this happened recently or in the past? If recently the sooner she reports the better.

Awful situation You need to be led by her really . Is she safe? Does she still live with him?

What do I do?

Believe her, first off

What does she want to do?
How old was she?

If he can do this to his own daughter he can do this to anyone. If she has it in her you could go with her to report it. The main thing you can do is listen to her and be there for her.

What does she want you to do? Listen? Keep her confidence? (sounds like a firm yes there). Support her in coming forward? I think you need to take your lead from her

Does your sister live with or stay with him?
I'd be very concerned for her welfare as things can escalate quite quickly and if she has kept quiet once he could view it that she will continue to keep quiet.
I would try and get her to report to her mum/the police and if she couldn't/wouldn't I'd report on her behalf.
I'd rather break her trust than risk worse happening.

@Mumsgirls

A white leather handbag cost a lot in the sales / got it out for a second summmer was totally yellow could not use. Expensive mistake

Huh?

How awful.
I'd encourage her to report this asap.
Is she living with him?

Please don’t report this to the police on her behalf with out her consent this would be taking away her control. Your role here is to listen to her and give her all your support and to give her back control. Your sister may come to that decision herself but in the meantime keep her safe as much as you can.

He has never done anything like this before? Its odd and I'm clutching at straws here, but was he in his right mind - dementia, alcoholism?
Agree with others, take your sister's lead. I don't know who you would report to with you both being adults, unless there was anyone vulnerable in the house?

I’m so sorry this has happened to your sister (and to your family). It’s a dreadful situation, with no easy wins, but one thing I would be asking myself is - does this man have access to children?

Very difficult. Does your father have form for this? Equally, does your sister have any reason to lie about it?

Make sure she's safe and not alone with him. Try and make sure he isn't alone with other vulnerable females (cousins, neighbours etc) as far as you can and encourage her to disclose within the family and to the police if she feels able to. Does your sister have any vulnerabilities other than being his daughter (learning difficulties, disabilities) that would increase the risk? Is there another trusted adult around (mother, grandparent, family friend) that you could encourage her to confide in. This is a lot to deal with on your own.

If she lives with him, that needs to change ASAP. Is your mum alive? Because if neither of you wants to be alone with him (sensible) or even wants to be anywhere he is (totally understandable), then mum's going to notice. Which means sister may as well tell mum now, because even if you or sister wants to hide it to avoid a family rift it's not going to be possible. It will be his behaviour that's caused any resulting arguments anyway, not yours or sister's behaviour.

@Overdueanamechange she would report to the police. It's sexual assault. The fact a family member did it doesn't change that.

Believe her

Sorry but this advice to automatically believe someone just because they are female is a bit odd. Women can and do lie believe it or not.

Do you think your sister is telling the truth? Does she have an axe to grind against your father for any reason?

When did it happen, recently?

@queenofthenite no one said anything about automatically believing her because she's female. Your sibling tells you they've been abused and your first response is they could be lying?

You do whatever it is she wants you to do. So talk to her.

Very few people lie about sexual assault- why would your assumption be that she isnt telling the truth @queenofthenite? I think believing someone when they've confided in you about something as serious as this is a pretty good starting point.

[quote georgarina]@queenofthenite no one said anything about automatically believing her because she's female. Your sibling tells you they've been abused and your first response is they could be lying?[/quote]
No I'm asking to find out the details first.

My cousin made false allegations against her father because she got cut out of a will and it was utterly horrendous for our family.

Everyone took her side at the start despite the fact it just wasn't true.

Believe her & support her for you both

How awful for her, can you find her the Tel number for rape crisis in your area and see if she will ring them to talk in confidence.
If this is completely out of character for him I would be wondering wether there was something neurological going on.