WWYD friend always inviting themselves round?

[chronicallyfedup]

I like my friend before anyone says I don't. She's a good person just very clingy.

She is constantly inviting herself over and it's getting to much. Say I see her on the Monday she'll Chuck in as she's going out of the door "I'll see you tomorrow and come over." And leaves before I get a chance to say anything.
This wouldn't be a issue normally but I'm currently going through a lot medical wise with a unknown neurological condition that's being looked into, it makes socialising very hard and even the simplest of tasks I can't do .
I'm not well at all, and every day is a massive challenge for me by 4/5 pm I'm ready for bed, I can't even leave the house without it being a struggle.
Last time she was here she said she believed she had the same medical issues as me as she googled her symptoms (which is a bit strange in itself and she seems perfectly fine in herself) but even if she did, you'd think she'd have the understanding that I don't have the Energy to be entertaining her every evening.

I've tried telling her I'll let her know when I'm up for visitors as I need to concentrate on getting myself better but she still insists or complains that she misses me even if she's seen me 2-3 times that week.
I just don't know how to get through to her that she's expecting to much of me. :(

If she really won't listen then just don't answer the door. If she asks later just say oh sorry you were in the bath or had your headphones on etc.

Don’t answer the door! Just text her that ur unwell and in bed. She’s not much of a friend if she’s ignoring ur wishes

You to ignoring the door. Tell her you were sleeping as you felt so ill which is why you said you'd let HER know when you were up for a visit.

If she says well I have X too, then say well I'm glad you're able to understand why I'm not feeling up to meeting up this week, it's really hard isn't it.

You need to be more assertive, or ignore the door

I'm quite cross on your behalf, and you should be cross too.

She is being very selfish, and wilfully ignoring your obviously too gentle hints that you're not up to it.

I'd send her a text pre-emptively for tonight, for example, please don't come around, I'm really not up for company tonight. And if she does show up, either do not answer the door, or answer the door, do not let her in, and say, did you not get my text? Even if you didn't, I'm still not up for company, as I said in the text.

Just send her text saying sorry but you’re tired and going to bed, turn off your phone and doorbell.

Focus on your health, if you are stuck at home she might be worried you are lonely and don’t want her putting herself out for you?

Say no

Don't answer the door or phone.

Another vote for not answering the door if she takes no notice of you saying you're not up for visitors.

This is my idea of hell. I'm a complete people pleaser, and also an introvert, and when I'm ill I can't bear being near other people.

You have all of my sympathy.

What I would want to do, if it was me, is really clearly say (by text, so you can take time over a reply rather than being railroaded) something like 'Hi Friend, I'm really struggling at the moment and I need to take a few days just sleeping and trying to feel better. I'm not able to have company at the moment, I'm just not well enough. I'll let you know when I'm up to having visitors again, and we can have a catch up / tea in the garden / watch a film / whatever you normally do with her.' I might even say something about switching my phone off to get some rest.

If she does turn up I would not answer the door and tell her you were sleeping, as you'd told her you would be, if she asks why.

Being charitable, some people who are extroverts do have no concept that other people actually want to be alone, and find company exhausting. But if you actually tell than that clearly, and they still don't listen, then that's not OK. Her saying she's not seen you enough, does sound a little more like this is about how she feels rather than her misguidedly trying to make you feel better though.

Has she always been like this, or does she think she's being nice and supportive through your current medical issues?

I'll see you tomorrow and come over
????

does she disappear into thin air straightaway or still visible and in hearing distance for a few seconds?
if the second then don't be a mug.
just say loudly: "NO, You won't!"

then don't let her in.

Send her a text “sorry can’t do the next few days” don’t answer the door then if she ignores etc - when YOU start saying sorry it’s not convenient or she has a couple of wasted trips she’ll start realising she needs to ask.

I echo what others have said. Even if you don't feel up to challenging it head on, a few hours before she'd usually arrive, text her and say, I'm not feeling great today, I'm going to bed. Can we postpone until (two days later) to give me time to rest? Thank you.

She probably doesn't mean to come across as she is doing. Maybe she thinks she's helping by being there to support you. It doesn't make it any less frustrating though.

Introduce your friend to the OP on this thread- I saw these two threads right next to each other Your friend can drop round uninvited all the likes to this OP, who wants her friend to come round without inviting her.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4273805-Friends-not-visiting-me-and-new-baby

Just tell her you are not available!

If you feel like it, you can arrange ONE visit this week or the next, but you can't do other days. Sorry, not home.
And don't answer the door.

Probably easier than saying you are not well and she offering to "help".

This is like mms text friend on another thread. She is refusing to accept your boundaries and I doubt she has similar symptoms to you. Its almost insulting. Pre empty by sending one of the messages above then take yourself off to bed

Text her and tell her not to come round. Is she does, ignore her knock at the door.

Pre empt not empty

She's always like this. I'm not lonely and she knows that, she knows I enjoy my own company with my family and she knows I'm trying to save my energy for my DC. :(

Just message her and say you are too tired to meet that day and tell her you are going to bed. She probably won't have turn up if you've said that.

This is why people dont answer the door.

It may seem harsh but I think you may have to resort to not answering the door.

Don't answer the door. If she tries to call you send her a message saying you're in bed knackered and don't want to hang out.

Just send a text saying you can’t have visitors. Ignoring door is rude if you’ve not been firm / clear on this.

Send her something along the following lines "hi Joan, I'm not available to meet up or have any visitors for at least a week so I'll give you a shout when I'm feeling up to it. Chat soon". No doubt she'll ask what's wrong but you've told her you are not available so you don't have to reply. If she calls unexpectedly just don't let her in, say you're not up to visitors and again say you'll let her know when you're feeling up to it. And in future arrange meet ups in a cafe, park etc where you can leave whenever you want.