to expect that a thank you letter from a 6 year old might contain at least my name and mention of the actual gift?

[LadySanders]

Totally accept that its hard for a 6 year old to hand-write 30 thank you letters. And have done the old printed-off-the-computer generic thank you letter myself for my ds age 6, BUT got him to write 'dear X' and fill in the blank after 'thank you for the ......' and sign on each one. Last few thank yous he's received after classmates' parties have all been untouched-by-a-human-hand computer print-off saying "thanks for coming to my party and for my present". not even signed or with his name on!! its too rude, surely!!

I'm very old-fashioned. Actually, just very old (45 today!) I insist on my DCs writing thank you letters for both birthday and Christmas presents. I just think it's common courtesy to thank someone for spending time and money, and a way of teaching children some appreciation for what they get. That's just my view. Much easier to get my DD to write them than my DS. Tell DS that he can do a master on the computer so he only has to change the name and what they bought him - but then insist he has to put a lot more effort into the base letter.

This is a wind up right???

A 6 year old, a 6 year old, expected to peronally sign 30 thank you letters. Purleease. Where on earth are you supposed to find the time in betwwen school, homework, other activities and some, FAMILY TIME.

My dd was 6 at the beginning of October. Her thank you cards are still sat in the baoot of the car unwritten. We just havn't got around to it yet.

In fact, I'd prefer people not to bring presents at all if they are going to get that hung about about a poxy letter.

30 in one night obviously unrealistic for a 6 year old, but sorry Island, your dd could have done one a day and had them done by the beginning of November. I don't want to argue about it, it's my personal view for my own children, not going to push it on to anyone else nor do I get upset when other people don't write thank you letters to me. Each to their own I say.

I suppose she could have done 1 a day, but as I also have a 3 year old, we don;t get home til 6pm and I don't see her at all on Fridays and Saturdays I just havn't got the time.

I'd have to get the table out and find a pen and all sorts whilst trying to answer the phone/cook tea, amuse ds all for 1 thank you card.

No thanks.

I'm waiting for someone to address the environmental implications of this...

if you are big and bad enough to invite 30 kids to your party you are good and big enough to thank them all personally for their generosity.

if the environmental cost of 30 thank you cards is so significant, then dread to think of the green cost of invitations, birthday cards or wrapping paper for 30 presents. I think it boils down to whether you think thank you letters are important or not. if yes, you'll find time, if not you won't. You might offend some people (like the OP) but that's your choice.

Isn't "thank you very much" personal then?

Why is the use of paper more personal than a face to face thank you?

All the companies I have worked for in the last 10 years, have stopped sending Christmas cards. They e-mail clients explaining why, and do a donation to charity instead. Much more sensible imo.

How much they can write and add at age 6 (presumably Y1?) varies so much at this stage. Some will be able to write reams, some may just be able to sign their name.

We always send thank you notes. They are important to us.

However it really would not bother me to get any form of thank yu not at all. A thank you is a thank you. I don't need to have it written in reams by the child. Just the fact that they hav sent one saying thank you is enough. Yes, for the child to write their name on it would be nice, but not the end of the world if not done.

Thank you notes? Never received one and never send one....Kids tend to say thank you when they receive the gift....why should they need to send a note?

i guess if you take the time to sit and write your thanks, it is a clear way of saying to the gift giver, ' i apprecitate that you spent time and money on me. to show that appreciation i am spending 6 (or however long it takes you to write it) minutes of my time telling you what your gift means to me. you can then say why you like the gift, if you have used it, or why it is special, which you can't say in the instant you recieve it as you haven't used it/hung it in your room or worn it yet!

i think its rude not to send one, but i'm sure i do a whole heap of stuff that people find rude that i have never given a thought to. but since someone asked, i thought i'd say why i think a card is important

Well, usually teh gift giver will have been treated to a nice party though

No honest, I can see why it's a nice gesture, but I find it ,personally, unecessary for Kids....my es couldn't even write his own name at age 6, lol....so...well....that alone would have put me off it anyway....

re the enviroment: if the paper usage bothers you then make your own paper or use recycled.
wrap the present in newspaper, fabric or old wrapping paper.

yes, the gift giver gets a good party in return i guess.
maybe i'm just wayyyy uptight (as making your own paper might suggest)

YABU. it is hard for a 6 year old to write thank you notes even just filling in the missing bits. The only time I expected my children to write thank you letters was if they had been sent the present throufgh the post.All thier freinds did the same. I always made sure that they thanked the person giving the present at the time.

YAB (a bit) U.
Its hard to know what presents came from whom unless you do that 'we're not opening them here but will take them home and open later' which although ensuring that the gift tags stay with the gift, I find it really rude.
SIL the last two years does the 'we'll open it later' but do we get a thankyou letter or anything? No, we get a bloody text in bloody text speak - 'tx 4 pres x'
In fact I'm going to start an AIBU thread on how unreasonable THAT is now that DP has gone to bed and can't read over my shoulder

you should all try being working class
we don't bother with this thank you letter palavar (sp?)
my family woudl think I had gone quite quite mad if I wrote them a letter to say thank you for something I have already thanked them for
it's weird and for people with too much time and money on their hands
imo

LOL I have concluded that if I start stressing about not being appreciated by other people's six year olds (not to mention my own) I want you all to take me out and shoot me.

When I receive thank you notes, they go straight into the recycling. Sorry about that.

I myself would only ever thank someone in person if I they were there when I /DS opened it. If it was sent through the post or we were specifically asked to open it when they were'n't there then I'd write a letter.

The bit I have a problem with is when people don't open the presents wheni give itto them. We have only been to one child's party and I really wanted to see the child's face when she saw what we had got as we knew it was her favourite and spent a long time looking for it. But i was quite upset when all the presents were just put to one side to open later. We did get a thank you later and it was very personal. But i would have loved to have seen her face.

That said I have a 'best' friend who hardly ever says thank you even if you are stood next to her when she opens things!

I do not think it matters how you say thank you but do think it is a bit rude not to say thanks at all. A text message, e-mail or a thank you in person is all that is needed. I am probably a bit old fashioned on this point but it does annoy me when I send nieces and nephews gifts and never ever get any aknowledgement from them. It is just a matter of good manners really. In fact when I do see them they ask if I have a present for them and then disappear of if I have not arrived bearing gifts!!!

Our family have always been encouraged to send thank you letters. My little nephews now send pictures or note cards written by their Mum as if she is them but with their picture or handwritten name. It can be a bit faffy but most people appreciate it. My husband's family never send notes and I don't often send them to them as they don't speak English and I'm not very good at Polish grammar. At my daughter's Christening they didn't even put tags on the presents so I had no idea who had sent presents at all, it upset me that I couldn't thank them properly.

A picture taken at the party scanned onto a generic thank you that my ds (7) can then add a name and his signature is not too taxing - plus we keep a note of who sent what as he opens them at home after the party. Why would anyone want their kid to open loads of presents in a wrapping paper frenzy in the middle of a party? They'll probaly just chuck them to one side to play with their mates - they appreciate them more later on i think. Its just basic politeness and teaching them to be appreciative.

What with speech therapy, physio. OT general day to day management of severe communication difficulties not to mention writing & spelling difficulties, being a single Mum with 2 special needs children I just do not have the time to write thankyou letters for my children & as it can be difficult to get them to do ordinary day to day things I am not going to waste my time on forcing them to even sign their name on a computer printout. Thankyou letters may be polite etc. but, I get really annoyed with people spouting off & getting offended when they don't know what real priorities are.