DD skirt length

[glassfloor]

We've had another message from DD (15) school about her skirt being too short. Normally I'd be a bit peevish about them policing girls' clothing and sexualising them etc BUT the fact remains that the skirt was VERY short. About 3 inches below her bum. You couldn't see her knickers when walking but a gust of wind/ flight of stairs/ bending down was all a bit risky.

So I suggested that she wear it longer. She's seething. Am I really an agent of the patriarchy or are there some clothing choices that you just shouldn't make for school?

I could really do with something better than, "it's school rules." The girls have recently challenged quite a few outmoded and archaic uniform decisions (eg not letting them wear trousers, making them wear tracksuit bottoms over skorts instead of leggings etc) and she sees it as an extension of this.

But the skirt was really really short. Tiny.

And it is a mixed sex school and teenage boys will look and frankly when all that bare leg is on display I'm a bit sympathetic to them. DD is pretty and frankly most teenage boys need very little to distract them.

So am I colluding in crushing her spirit and siding with the Man or should she just grow up and accept it's a rule and just wear a skirt a few inches above the knee?

This dilemma is the paradox of feminism in a nutshell. It's wrong for men to tell women what they should wear or do but it's fine for feminists to tell women what they should wear or do. Because if what a woman wants to do is coincidentally what (some) men want them to do, they're clearly wrong or unconsciously submitting.

For me, part of feminism is female freedom, which includes the freedom to do things that other feminists don't agree with.

This situation makes it appear as though feminism might be about not doing what men want us to, but clearly most of us still need certain women (the "clever" ones I guess) to tell us what to do. In essence, feminists are saying the majority of women are incapable of deciding things for themselves.

When I rolled my skirt up it was because I thought it looked better and more fashionable. It certainly wasn't to flash my legs at the boys, more to fit in with what the others girls were doing. I think girls do it to fit in with their tribe. DD1 went to an all girls school and they had the shortest skirts in the area (rolled up or deliberately not replaced when they had really grown out of them). Every now and then the school would say something about it, but they were really pretty relaxed on uniform, one of the things I liked about the school.

I saw a girl walking home from school whose skirt didn’t cover her bum and you could literally see her bum cheeks through her tights.

On another occasion I saw a family group on the way to school, father, older girl and younger boy, again the skirt barely covered her bum. I was just amazed her parents let her out of the house like that.

Maybe stop staring at teenage girls' bums? Just an idea.