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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you regret your pets?

392 replies

LittleLottieChaos · 17/06/2021 13:28

I know there are regular threads on people regretting their children… but I’m interested to know, are people similarly regretful of their pets? I currently am looking after my old childhood cat - he’s an old gent now, poos/wees inside and randomly vomits after eating. He also has to be securely locked downstairs at night or he’ll come up and wake us all for food/drool on our heads.

After spending years thinking ‘yay I want a dog and a cat, in fact a whole menagerie’ now I’m thinking ‘no, I’ll just have my kids…’

YABU - I never tire of my animals

YANBU - I sort of regret them at times

OP posts:
Trinacham · 17/06/2021 17:29

10% of the time, yes. But that is mostly because one of them (2 cats) pees on the carpet (and if it's not on the carpet, it's in the bathtub.. which is not so bad)

But I could never give them up. They are like our children, and part of the family.

Roselilly36 · 17/06/2021 17:39

I have had one dog & 3 cats, all from pup/kittens, never regretted them, but of course they are a tie & responsibility. We lost our last cat 3 years ago, I still miss him, but I don’t intend to get anymore pets. But I throughly enjoyed them when I had them.

Spodge · 17/06/2021 17:46

Our dogs were expensive (expected costs plus unexpectedly high vet bills way above their insurance cover) and gave us plenty of heartache. Particularly one who got all sorts of serious health problems and had to be put to sleep quite young. But they also gave us loads of pleasure. I loved them to bits and they still give us pleasure now as we talk about them frequently. I don't regret them at all but I doubt I will have a pet again.

gonow · 17/06/2021 17:55

I regretted getting our last dog. It was a dog too far. Was very relieved when they finally passed away after a long happy life.

namechange6754 · 17/06/2021 18:02

I know quite a few people who get pets before children and then have a baby and quickly go on to rehome the pet. I can think of some who got a pet with small children and then rehomed actually, I think they completely underestimate the commitment. We don't have pets, it's amazing how often people ask us why, but honestly it's a commitment that I find more daunting than children, there are few babysitters and they don't go to school at 5 years old 😂

Before the pandemic I said I couldn't get a dog whilst working, I personally think it's cruel to leave a dog at home all day 5 days a week (and have enough childcare costs to not want to spend on doggy day care!) but now I WFH full time it's hard to explain to the kids whilst it's still a responsibility I don't want to have!!!

Hellocatshome · 17/06/2021 18:09

I slightly regret my pet ducks in that they have taken over our entire backyard and we can only go in ot with their permission. We fenced them a specific duck area they didn't give a shit the whole yard is now theirs.

topwings · 17/06/2021 18:18

Not regret exactly but I probably won't get another dog after our dog dies.

We're really lucky because our dog is really sensible and not very adventurous so doesn't try to chase after anything and he can't be lured away from home by the neighbour's dog who wanders quite a bit.

I'd be afraid another dog might be a bit daft and hard to train.

Elphame · 17/06/2021 18:23

The dog - no. Not for one second.

The cat - yes. I'd be happier without him. He was a temporary foster 8 years ago and he's still here so I guess he's staying.

Before anyone jumps on me, he's well cared for, well fed and gets plenty of attention. I just don't like him very much. I've had cats in the past I've loved but not this one.

1stTimeMama · 17/06/2021 18:29

I absolutely regret my pets. It's just too much, I'd rehome them tomorrow and live merrily with my family. But it's not just up to me, so I'm stuck in perpetual animal misery until they're no longer around.

Lagomtransplant · 17/06/2021 18:45

YABU.

My cat is my furbaby. Yes I have mornings when I come downstairs with the previous night's dinner having an encore on the doormat (strangely ONLY there), but I also get a nonstop purr therapy on tap. And there is nothing like that flop upside down and looking at me in adoration to make me forgive the sofa massacre. Having pets has it's drawbacks, but I would never give up my fuzzball.

Mommabear20 · 17/06/2021 18:50

Regretting pets because they're old is like resenting your parents for getting old, or caring for an ill spouse! 😢

Strokethefurrywall · 17/06/2021 18:53

Regretting pets because they're old is like resenting your parents for getting old, or caring for an ill spouse!

Yeah, It’s really, really not.

Clarich007 · 17/06/2021 19:07

Yes I do regret our rescue cat.Sorry but it's true.He's aggressive, stand offish, always missing and doesn't want to be here.Although he's not around we onciously can't go on holiday so we are still tie
I feel sad saying it as iv'e had cats for 40 odd years.My husband jokingly asked me years ago if someone offered us 1 million pounds for a previous cat, what would I say.I was shocked and said no amount would make me part with her.
That's the difference.

CharlieAteThePies · 17/06/2021 19:25

For a short time, we had a big tropical fish tank. The guy in the shop was totally misleading with his “super easy to care for, replace a third of the water weekly, use these drops, this special block blah blah”

Bloody liar! The whole damn tank needed regular scrubbing. Hated it. Thankfully a friend was over for lunch a few months after I’d bought it and she mentioned that she was planning to buy one for her DH. So I gifted her the lot on the spot 😂 Such a painful and expensive purchase. Never again to fish!!

I would love a dog, but will wait till my DC are teenagers and the dog can be my fur baby!

GrolliffetheDragon · 17/06/2021 19:35

Never. I've found it difficult and upsetting when their age has caught up with them and they've needed a lot of care, but I've always accepted that as part of the responsibility of having pets. And I do take that responsibility incredibly seriously.

GrolliffetheDragon · 17/06/2021 19:37

Yeah, It’s really, really not.

And yes, it really is very similar. You take on that responsibility when you choose to have a pet. If you're not prepared to be there for their whole life (barring extreme circumstances, obviously) don't get a pet.

BarbarianMum · 17/06/2021 19:38

@Strokethefurrywall

Regretting pets because they're old is like resenting your parents for getting old, or caring for an ill spouse!

Yeah, It’s really, really not.

Or maybe it's like regretting that your parents have become infirm and incapable and finding it both stressful and difficult and time consuming and frustrating to care for them? My dad has dementia and I feel like that quite often.
CroneAVirus · 17/06/2021 19:45

@CharlieAteThePies

For a short time, we had a big tropical fish tank. The guy in the shop was totally misleading with his “super easy to care for, replace a third of the water weekly, use these drops, this special block blah blah”

Bloody liar! The whole damn tank needed regular scrubbing. Hated it. Thankfully a friend was over for lunch a few months after I’d bought it and she mentioned that she was planning to buy one for her DH. So I gifted her the lot on the spot 😂 Such a painful and expensive purchase. Never again to fish!!

I would love a dog, but will wait till my DC are teenagers and the dog can be my fur baby!

OMG I forgot about our fish tank. I refuse to have anything to do with it. I leave it all to DH. It’s a pain in the arse and is fucking massive. We need to have a huge piece of furniture taking loads of space up in the front room just so the bloody tank can go on top of it. I really resent it. Waste of space, time and money. We don’t even have nice-looking colourful fish. DH and the DCs somehow managed to choose the most boring, drab, uninteresting fish possible. I can’t wait until we can get rid of the tank and claim all that space back.
Aria2015 · 17/06/2021 19:45

YANBU I regret my cat. He's super aloof and aggressive. I was always a cat person until I had him! Seems cats are like people, some are just arseholes!

AnAwesomePossum · 17/06/2021 19:46

In some ways, yes. I was oddly protective of the cats pre DS and wouldn’t go away and leave them overnight so missed out on loads of ad hoc one night trips. Since DS was born, they stopped being my life and I don’t feel the same. But I also wouldn’t have not had them. All those cuddles and having some company in a quiet house has been lovely. I won’t replace them though when they do die.

Strokethefurrywall · 17/06/2021 19:48

Comparing pets to elderly parents or ill spouses is a real stretch.
People are allowed to feel frustrated and full of regret if they end up with a pet that they have to turn their lives upside down for. An anxious dog that can’t go outside, a reactive dog that hates kids, an elderly cat that pisses everywhere.

It is in no way comparable to resenting parents getting old or resenting a spouse becoming ill FFs.

I’m not ashamed to say that I’m waiting for my elderly dog to pass. I love him, he’s not in pain but he is not a dog that has bought me joy. He’s cost close to $5000 in vets bills over the years, and it takes its toll cleaning up after a pet that gives very little in return because that’s just their personality.

ShouldersBackChestOutChinUp · 17/06/2021 19:51

I regret having so many. Four dogs and four cats. Kernels/cattery costs a fortune and there's no spontaneous trips away.

violetbunny · 17/06/2021 20:05

My cats bring me a huge amount of joy. They're worth all the money and effort I spend on them. I also volunteer for a cat rescue and find this incredibly rewarding.

TheGoogleMum · 17/06/2021 20:06

I have regretted previous pets admittedly. I dont regret my cats (only current pets)

MozambiqueHere · 17/06/2021 20:07

I got a dog when it was easy for me to own a dog, but a few years later it became a bit of a nightmare (having to travel a lot, moving countries, etc.) and he's a BIG dog so hard to find people to watch him.

So yeah I do regret it a bit. Has cost me thousands. Doesn't mean I don't love him to bits, but I probably shouldn't have got him when I did.

And I know I'll want another one one day but I know I shouldn't. But I just love dogs, always had a dog, and can't imagine not having one!