To think this guy is showing a few red flags?

[nataliare]

Maybe I'm being too cautious or just been a silly over thinker.
Friday night (date 3) with a guy.
I had booked a restaurant which I had been to the week before.
Stood outside in the queue to get in and a few couples were behind us.
He told me to get the reservation up on my phone to show the staff.
I said I had been the week before and we just had to give our name and I didn't need to show it.
He completely ignored me and told the people behind "just go in front she needs to find the booking confirmation "
So I look on my emails and find it and get to the front and as I knew they didn't ask for it.

Afterwards we went to a bar.
There are 2 pubs opposite and I said "oh shall we go in this one " and pointed
He said no and let's go in that one.
I pointed out there was a huge queue and the other one was half empty.
He wouldn't budge and we had to stand in queue.

Aibu ? Or would you be a bit put off ?

One of the pubs that was full was showing a euro match (I'm assuming it was euro)
Where the other one didn't have it on.
I'm assuming that's why it was emptier

The restaurant one would have been enough for me.

I certainly wouldn't have queued for a pub.

Bin OP.

I think it's fine if he wanted to go in the other pub so long as he had a reason for it AND communicated that reason POLITELY ie 'would you mind if we go in this one instead, it's just I hate the music in there and it's too loud etc'. It's sounds like he just said 'no, we're going in this one', in which case he sounds self-centred and arrogant.

@nataliare

One of the pubs that was full was showing a euro match (I'm assuming it was euro) Where the other one didn't have it on. I'm assuming that's why it was emptier

So what do you think of people’s comments on the thread?

Once in the bar that he wanted instead of the one you wanted, was your suspicion that it was football related correct? Did his eyes stray to that? Unless you’re both into it, that’s a shit date!

Sorry you had this experience. That’s not a good dating experience. He’s doesn’t seem willing to compromise or even check to ask what you would like to do. Sounds like behaviour of a serial dater but whatever his reasons he’s already showing his controlling ways. Don’t get caught up in trying to work him out (like I just did lol). He’s shown you who he is and you don’t feel comfortable. Trust your intuition. Move on.

I'm not seeing him again.
I think he think he is always right.
I told him the time of the bus and then he went and had to double check.
I can't be bothered with that

@nataliare

I'm not seeing him again. I think he think he is always right. I told him the time of the bus and then he went and had to double check. I can't be bothered with that

There you go, three strikes! He's out !

@nataliare

I'm not seeing him again. I think he think he is always right. I told him the time of the bus and then he went and had to double check. I can't be bothered with that

I have a friend that does the same thing with buses and it really really annoys me so I know how you feel

Yes, this!

@Wearywithteens

Date 3 with the right man would’ve been magical and full of laughs and loving each other’s company. Sounds like he just wanted to eat and watch the footy. But he’ll take the free sex. He’s not that into you and he’s quite obviously telling you that. Don’t lower your bar for this maggot.

This! This is everything I was trying to say but not so eloquently (on my part).

The correct decision in my opinion. I wish others would do the same, so that men like him (and indeed any women if there are any) remain single until they learn decent behaviour.

He sounds rather unpleasant .Seems to want to be "in charge" by the sounds of it! If its only been a few dates then just dump him and look for someone nicer and kinder /more respectful

I know it's disappointing and it's natural to want to convince yourself to give him another chance when you've enjoyed a few dates together, but I honestly think you've made the right decision. It's early days and he's already shown you who he is, the reservations thing would have been enough for me to call it quits - who does he think he is?! This is probably the tip of the iceberg.

I think it's important to not get overly invested in men early on, treat it as an extended interview process (obviously easier said than done). He hasn't passed the criteria of decent human being, you gave him a chance and he couldn't behave himself beyond three dates, the trial period is over and he hasn't made the cut. Plenty more out there.

Good call OP.

I'd ghost him.

The restaurant wouldn't bother me, but the pub would, if he literally just said no without explaining. He would have to have been an absolute dream at all other times, to get one more chance.

The restaurant wouldn't bother me, but the pub would

Interesting. The restaurant thing would have bothered me more. Like the OP was some sort of child who doesn't know how to attend restaurants.

Wow. At least he's showing his true colours now. He clearly has no respect for women as functioning adults.

Your are well rid!

Sounds like a knob.

No. I’ve dated someone like this and it only gets worse- when he’s displaying this kind of controlling behaviour on the first date then you run for the hills and thank your lucky stars you got such an early escape

Oh god definitely red flag behaviour. disregarding what you say, undermining you. Choosing to overpower your decisions and no compromise. Yep run.

OVER.