AIBU

[Bobby51]

My brother has recently got married. My SIL is a lovely person and gets on with everyone great. My 16 year old DD has got on with her new Aunty well too. So what is the issue? I hear you ask!

I have noticed every time my brother & his wife visit us, my SIL goes to DD room and they stay there for a very long time. They say they play games and talk while rest of the family is downstairs. DD is very shy person and hardly talks to people so it was very good to see her bonding. But they hold hands all the time, whisper into each other ears, give each other lots of kisses on cheeks, speak to each other in some secret language only they are to know and I cant ask. DD body language changes from being comfortable to submissive.

Please dont think I am being jealous because I am not. Something does not feel right to me! My mum instincts are going crazy. I have tried to ask DD what do they talk about and she went quite.
They went to town the other day and I was driving them, they were holding hands like interlocking into each other's. Does anybody else find this bizarre? My SIL is in her late 20s so more than 11 years between her & DD.
My brother in law and his wife are very happy together so no issues there.

What do I do?

It is certainly a strange thing in our culture - maybe not in hers. So she needs to be made aware of that; but how, without giving offence, I do not know. Perhaps you could simply say that you would prefer she came and joined in with the rest of the family rather than separating from everyone. That's the subtle approach - if it doesn't work then you can step it up from there, telling her you are not happy with it.

I have to say that does sound very very odd and I'd be concerned. SiL is an adult though and should be at least willing to discuss with you what DD and her do.

How weird!
I definitely would put my phone on record in the room. I don't think you are going to find out any other way.