How weird is it to fantasise about friends?

[Iamapanda]

Does anyone else do this?? I'm female and when I have sex with my male partner I fantasise that I am with my friend, who is also female. Also if I'm alone.

It's just one friend, it's happened before though with a different friend, also female a few years ago. Like I can't stop thinking about them.

I still fancy my partner, he is wonderful but we've been together 20 years so am I bored?

Do I need help or is this in any way normal?

I never fantasise about friends personally but I don't think there's anything wrong or abnormal about a harmless fantasy.

My mate's wife said to her when they were newly dating, "every woman fantasises about women while having sex, right." They are now a very happily married lesbian couple.

I never have but sexuality is complicated.

I never have either but I also don’t see the harm. Only you know whether secretly it means you’re interested in that friend or just women in general (alongside your partner!)

It's weird. Unless you're a lesbian, in which case it's normal.

Nope. Never done it. Ever.

Why would it be weird? Everyone has their own individual turn ons, it’s not like you’re leering and ogling your friend in real life (I hope). Many people fantasise about other people during sex and having a same sex fantasy doesn’t mean you’re gay/bi or want to follow through with it. Maybe don’t tell your friend though!

Can’t imagine anything worse than having sex with one of my mates, personally. But sexuality is a complicated thing, IMO.

Can’t imagine anything worse than having sex with one of my mates, personally

Well I would say the same for all the others it's just this one. Even the one I was thinking about before is now in the 'oh that's gross' category!

No way.

*@TedMullins *
Thank you that makes me feel a bit better. I nearly told the last one because my feelings were quite strong but luckily I didn't

How do you know if something is a fantasy or a real thing though?? I mean, how do I know if I'm in the wrong relationship?

I’ve done more than fantasise.

It sounds like you might be bisexual and/or have some strong feelings for this woman. If she was a lesbian or bisexual, and you were not in a relationship, it might be worth pursuing.

But if you are still in love your partner and fancy him, then these feelings, thoughts and fantasies will pass and you will be glad you didn't act on them.

Most people are not 100% heterosexual, even those that are it is healthy to have passing thoughts about people. It's up to you how much you read into them and how much weight you give to them being with a woman as opposed to a man, if that alters your view of yourself as being heterosexual or bisexual or somewhere in between.

Not something I have ever done. I am not attracted to any female friends in any way but I cannot see what harm if you don't say it.

I have children and she is straight so not something to pursue. It can be very confusing and I wish I could make it stop really. Does sound like it's not something normal people do! Thanks for the replies anyway and for not calling me a monster

OP, try looking up the Kinsey Scale. 🌈

how do I know if I'm in the wrong relationship?
You don't want to have sex with your partner; not because you aren't in the mood, but because it feels wrong or icky. Or you find yourself thinking what's happening is nice but its the wrong person.

I’ve never fantasised about any woman

I really think it’s fine. I’m married and straight and fantasise about an, er, wide range of people. I don’t see the harm.

No, not me. I’ve never fantasised about a woman. I’m generally all about the penis.

Do you think you might be bisexual? Or a lesbian? Sexuality is complicated and labels are not always helpful, but it would be unusual for an entirely heterosexual women to usually fantasise about another woman.

I'd expect there is a huge variety in fantasies. I'd imagine what you describe is far from uncommon.

When I masturbate I always fantasize about people I know in the real world, as opposed to people I don't know (such as celebrities). Not sure if that is normal or not?

This in an interesting read
www.businessinsider.com/what-women-fantasize-about-2014-11?r=US&IR=T

It's a long list ... with percentages

Okay, it sounds like it’s more than a passing fantasy if you actually have feelings for her. Perhaps you are bi? There’s nothing wrong with that if you are. I’m bi, but it took me til my late 20s to actually realise it and embrace it. As for being in the wrong relationship… well, only you know that. I don’t think fantasising about other people while you’re married is a sign in itself that you’re in the wrong relationship, fantasies are normal - but if you feel your connection to or attraction to your partner is lacking that’s something only you can work out

Nope.

@LiteMyFyre

I'd expect there is a huge variety in fantasies. I'd imagine what you describe is far from uncommon.

When I masturbate I always fantasize about people I know in the real world, as opposed to people I don't know (such as celebrities). Not sure if that is normal or not?

This in an interesting read
www.businessinsider.com/what-women-fantasize-about-2014-11?r=US&IR=T

It's a long list ... with percentages

Oh that's interesting. Thank you

Yes I think I'm probably bisexual. I did think this at around age 20 but then got together with my partner and forgot about women completely until twenty years later.

I