Do you count as a ‘vegetarian’ if you don’t announce it?

[AnAwesomePossum]

I have realised as I’ve typed that it sounds like I’m being incredibly goady, but honestly I’m not! It was a philosophical thought.

My son (3) doesn’t eat meat. There is no real reason for this. He had a sausage a few months ago, some chicken a bit afterwards, but nothing in the past few months. I put meat on his plate, we cook it on BBQs, he even tells me he likes certain things (in a 3 year old way - “I don’t like chicken today but I do like it other days”) but he still won’t eat it. He may eat some of the meat at nursery but not sure if he doesn’t just pick around it.

This is fine. He eats eggs, cheese and peanut butter like it’s going out of fashion so I’m not worried.

So, in practice he is a vegetarian. In language he’s never described himself (or had an active thought) as one and wouldn’t know what they means. So is he a vegetarian (probably temporarily but who knows) or do you have to make a conscious thought to be one?

So if I put it in AIBU terms: AIBU to think he is NOT vegetarian until he has declared (or made a conscious thought) that he is one?

JediGnot I make the distinction because vegetarians will also avoid gelatine, rennet, animal fat etc, whereas if you just don’t eat meat you might eat those things. I agree with PPs that it’s probably easiest to just say that he’s vegetarian if someone else is cooking for him, but I’m vegetarian and I wouldn’t count him as a proper vegetarian iyswim. Though obviously eating less meat is great whatever reason you have for doing it!

I agree with most - I don’t think he is a vegetarian but has preference for vegetarian options - but when does the line cross?

So, take a hypothetical situation where an entire community (perhaps remote from other civilisation) have only even eaten vegetables because that’s all they know. And someone is removed, but there’s no conscious thought or consideration about them eating meat. Are they vegetarian, living off a purely vegetarian diet for years - possibly into adulthood - or are they actually not practising vegetarians because they don’t know any other way?

And the reverse of that too - if I decide to go fully veggie for two weeks, am I a vegetarian for those two weeks as it was an active decision or am I meat eater on hiatus?

He is just picking out the things he doesn’t like. Some kids are particular about textures - so you might find that he won’t look at a ‘meaty’ soya burger. It might make life easier if he was going off on a play date and would go hungry if a ham sandwich was offered (but most kids wolf down anything made at their friends house don’t they?)

Oh and the whole ‘vegetarian’ thing - you either are or you aren’t. My sister really doesn’t like meat or fish and is mostly vegetarian - but will on occasion eat animals. She doesn’t say she’s veggie. I’ve been veggie for (oh dear god) pushing 40 years and have not knowingly eaten any animals in that time.

Hmmm, I'm a Vegetarian as I choose to avoid meat due to the ethical concerns, the killing and poor lives of animals upsets me but I'm also vegetarian in that if out I will eat food that I suspect has been cooked with meat. However I'm neither as if I felt I'd seriously upset someone by refusing their food I would eat meat.

@Cadent

What a strange thing to navel gaze about. Hardly one of life’s dilemmas is it.

Why not ‘navel gaze’ at anything because you fancy it? Do you need a reason

[but my degree is in philosophy so maybe I’ll never know better]

BTW I don't announce myself as anything

Cadent it is at least a different thread, I'd take this over cheating bustards and twatty parkers any day

So there’s another question: if you choose to not eat meat purely because you don’t like the taste, do you count as a vegetarian? Or does ethics need to be involved (I have never considered that being a vegetarian needs to consider any kind of ethics, but maybe it does?)

You only mention meat... Do you give him fish?

I think, to the letter, if you never eat meat products regardless of the reason you’re a vegetarian

The reason why your son doesn’t count is because he does eat meat or he would if it’s prepared in an appealing way. Or the above poster who would eat meat as to not offend the host (side note - wtf)

He doesn’t like any fish! Won’t even try! God knows I try as I love fish - we had scrambled eggs together this morning and I had kippers with mine and I couldn’t even convince him to take a bite. Our cod katsu a few nights ago went down like a led balloon (he just ate sauce and rice - and a bit of extra strong cheddar for that authentic taste )

Wouldn’t any host be more horrified if they served a non meat eater meat and they timidly picked at it without saying anything?

TBF, I am discrediting my DS slightly. He probably will demolish a pepperoni pizza if I bought it, but ironically I prefer veggie pizzas so I don’t buy them often for him to possibly eat one slice. But then I've not ordered pizzas (well, for family time) in a good few months so who knows!

My child doesn’t eat a lot of meat but he’s not vegetarian as he will still eat a few select meat items. It’s generally easier to put him
For the veggie option if a choice has to be made

I became a vegetarian because I dislike many of the practices inherent in modern commercial farming.

I like meat and, if I was in a position to rear and slaughter my own (I'm from a farming background and I'm not squeamish), I would continue to eat meat, but I'm not, so I don't.

I get eggs from a friend's free range flock and milk/cheese from a relative's organic calf at foot herd, so my position (lacto/ovo veggie rather than vegan) is political. I don't think you can or should impose that on a young child.

I also have friends who are V/Vg because they genuinely don't like the taste or texture of meat.

Give him a few years, he might go either way.

And @toffeebutterpopcorn I do agree with you! His last meat attempt was when he stayed at DP’s friends for the day and they all are BBQ food. He did manage some meat when another child was doing it.

I have some halal friends so I’m very conscious about getting it right (particularly hard when ordering in) so as a rule, despite who I’m hosting, I always order or cook one purely vegetarian meal.

I havent eaten meat since I was about 8 just because I don't like the texture. Same with all the meat substitutes. I will cook meat for my DH and eat gelatine, chicken stock etc, but still call myself a vegetarian as it's easier when I'm eating out / round a friends house

I was like that at 3.. it was just a natural thing.. i did eat meat though until i could make a decision and understand.. i guess around 7.. and the label only stuck around 10.. it was given and expected but it made me gag and retch so i feel i was definitely born a vegetarian but still 3 is way too young to know

@OnOldOlympus

JediGnot I make the distinction because vegetarians will also avoid gelatine, rennet, animal fat etc, whereas if you just don’t eat meat you might eat those things. I agree with PPs that it’s probably easiest to just say that he’s vegetarian if someone else is cooking for him, but I’m vegetarian and I wouldn’t count him as a proper vegetarian iyswim. Though obviously eating less meat is great whatever reason you have for doing it!

While it is true that someone who doesn't eat meat is not necessarily a vegetarian, you can be a vegetarian for a multitude of reasons. I completely disagree that being a vegetarian implies you are doing it for ethical/environmental reasons. Many vegetarians are doing it for ethical/environmental reasons (although given the horrors of the dairy industry you could argue veganism is the only ethical approach), many are doing it for other reasons, including the fact they don't like meat.

I am a vegetarian. I dislike most meat. I eventually stopped eating all meat and meat products, mainly because I ate them so rarely they started to make me feel sick.

I haven't eaten meat or meat products for well over 35 years. I am a vegetarian because I do not like meat.

@UmamiMammy

You only mention meat... Do you give him fish?

Fish is a type of meat.

@AnAwesomePossum

So there’s another question: if you choose to not eat meat purely because you don’t like the taste, do you count as a vegetarian? Or does ethics need to be involved (I have never considered that being a vegetarian needs to consider any kind of ethics, but maybe it does?)

You are a vegetarian if you don't eat meat or meat products regardless of the reasons behind your decision.

You are a pain in the bloody arse if you eat fish and other meaty things and still describe yourself as a vegetarian. The reason being, you still get some restaurants who think fish is vegetarian. I had an argument with a waiter in a small tourist town last summer as he was quite adamant that the cod on the menu was a vegetarian option because lots of their vegetarian customers eat it.

You are a vegetarian if you don't eat meat or meat products regardless of the reasons behind your decision.

You are a pain in the bloody arse if you eat fish and other meaty things and still describe yourself as a vegetarian. The reason being, you still get some restaurants who think fish is vegetarian. I had an argument with a waiter in a small tourist town last summer as he was quite adamant that the cod on the menu was a vegetarian option because lots of their vegetarian customers eat it.

Trouble is that if a pescetarian accurately describes themselves as a pescetarian in a catering context, 90% of the time it results in (a) confusion and then (b) being given the vegetarian option, if they don't fuck up and decide that you eat chicken.

Much easier just to ask for the vegetarian option tbh.

Does it matter?
And what does 'counting' as a vegetarian mean? Who are you counting to??