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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I BU to allow my son to do this?

79 replies

ImaHogg · 15/06/2021 17:52

Am I a bad mother? The school have certainly made me feel like one today.
My son is 16 in October. Last year he and two other friends purchased a second hand lawn mower, they did it up and went round our village (a lovely, safe village) and got themselves a few gardening jobs. This is a village I have lived in for 46 years. A few people even put on our local spotted FB group how lovely it was to see young boys earning some money and working hard.
This year they have saved up and upgraded the lawn mower. They printed off some flyers with their telephone numbers on and are planning to pop them in some doors around the village (nowhere else, just the village where we live) to get some summer money/work.
Today they took some flyers into school to show some mates. A teacher happened to see them, confiscated them and handed them over to the year head. I had a phone call today to advise me that my son and his friends should not be doing this, its a safe guarding issue and I should discourage them from pursuing this interest and I need to have a conversation with him about it tonight.
It was a voicemail message and I haven’t returned his call as I am a bit speechless tbh! I totally appreciate them looking out for the boys but it felt like they were telling me how to parent.
Both my children are fully aware of outside dangers, they would never willing go into a strangers home or take a car journey with someone they don’t know. They are aware of drug dangers etc.
They only want to make a few extra pennies mowing a few lawns and raking some leaves. We are not talking county lines drug trafficking ffs!

OP posts:

Scutterbug · 15/06/2021 17:53

Ridiculous over reaction by the school.

MadeForThis · 15/06/2021 17:53

Most kids get a job at 16. As long as he is aware of dangers, especially grooming then I would trust him to do this.

orangejuicer · 15/06/2021 17:53

I think the school probably felt they had to act as they were sharing flyers on school grounds. Otherwise YANBU.

TwoAndAnOnion · 15/06/2021 17:54

Today they took some flyers into school to show some mates. A teacher happened to see them, confiscated them and handed them over to the year head. I had a phone call today to advise me that my son and his friends should not be doing this, its a safe guarding issue and I should discourage them from pursuing this interest and I need to have a conversation with him about it tonight.

Absolute rubbish. The year head is an idiot!

wavecatcher · 15/06/2021 17:54

Well done to your son, school seem over the top about something that's not in school time.

Mumdiva99 · 15/06/2021 17:54

I'm going to guess the concern is about them giving their mobile number in public. But best thing to do isnfornyoh to call the school.and have a chat. I actually agree with you they are doing a good thing. Most famous entrepreneurs started young....

mybrainhertz · 15/06/2021 17:55

Wow that's ridiculous. A few teens in our village do small gardening jobs for people and it's never been an issue. It's good for teenagers to do some work.

TheMotherlode · 15/06/2021 17:55

YANBU, I would just ignore the school on this one to be honest

Whatabouttery · 15/06/2021 17:56

I was stacking shelves at 15.
School are being silly.

I guess they may be objecting to having phone numbers handed out?

DistrictCommissioner · 15/06/2021 17:57

School is absolutely off their rockers. Y11 at our school are working in my village pub...

itsgettingwierd · 15/06/2021 17:59

Safeguarding issue?

In what way?

Agree it's ridiculous.

Well done on your ds and his mate on being proactive and finding a way to earn some extra cash.

My school is having extensive building works and my ds has been volunteering at weekends and will do some days during the summer to help the site manager get the grounds tidy and clean as the works finish.

People moan when teens are just hanging around the streets but they moan it's safeguarding when they're doing something useful in society.

Poor sods can't win!

Kanitawa · 15/06/2021 18:00

It’s a tricky one. They’re giving out their phone number publicly and not paying tax or insurance or anything. People are very litigious nowadays. If they’re going to do it I’d set it up as a proper business with a parent in charge to ensure they comply with the law re. working hours etc.

exexpat · 15/06/2021 18:04

Sounds totally OTT to me. Would the school react the same to students offering babysitting services? That would be higher risk from a safeguarding point of view compared with lawn-mowing (indoors, potential creepy dad scenarios etc) but teenagers have been doing that sort of thing for ever.

3JsMa · 15/06/2021 18:04

YANBU,school is totally bonkers.
If anything,they should praise the boys and encourage such an initiative as it's so rare nowadays.
My 2 oldest just finished secondary schools not long ago and I'm quite baffled (and a bit upset) as their school was similar,trying to curb any sign of enthusiasm and passion.Terrible example for kids who are just about to become adults.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 15/06/2021 18:08

Madness ignore them.

I very much doubt the boys are earning £12K each .... so tax is not a consideration!!

REP22 · 15/06/2021 18:12

What a great thing your son and his friends are doing. A clearly well-thought-out and responsible way of earning some money and probably very helpful to local people who could use a hand in their garden but can't afford a professional gardener.

The way I see it, your son is nearly 16, he is not doing this by himself, he has planned and thought out what he's doing and (I'm sure) being respectful about doing it. He is not a 7 year old knocking on random people's doors asking for cash.

I suppose if it was their private mobile numbers on the flyer that might be a bit of a pause for thought, but numbers can be blocked, and if they were the landline numbers of the houses where they live with parents then that's surely a matter for the young people and their parents.

I think it was an over-reaction on the school's part. I hope the boys haven't been left with a sense of shame and humiliation. Good luck to them.

Original poster

ImaHogg · 15/06/2021 18:12

I was really having a moment after that voicemail. You’d have thought he was drug running for county lines the way the year head was going on. I do appreciate their concerns and I think it is to do with the fact they have put their mobile numbers on the flyers but it felt like he was undermining my parenting. Both my kids are fully aware of the dangers in life and would never willingly put themselves in danger.
exexpat exactly, babysitting is surely potentially more dodgy and lots of young girls do that.

OP posts:

markmichelle · 15/06/2021 18:13

To be charitable the School probably thinks they ought to say something if the lads are under 16.
But tell your DS and his mates that this bloke congratulates them.

Might they develop a sideline in repairing mowers, and sharpening or replacing mower blades for other customers.

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/06/2021 18:15

Well, it'll absolutely be about handing their phone numbers out to all and sundry.
They shouldn't have taken them into school 🤷🏻‍♀️

spotcheck · 15/06/2021 18:18

School is bonkers

Eviethyme · 15/06/2021 18:19

13 year olds have paper rounds so can't see the issue..... In 2 years they will be able to sign up for the army to shoot guns sooooo....

WorraLiberty · 15/06/2021 18:19

The only thing I can see they did wrong was to bring the flyers into school.

Other than that, it's nice to see 16 year olds with a bit of entrepreneurial spirit.

Let them crack on OP.

FindingMeno · 15/06/2021 18:19

I'm thinking I would have asked the year head whether he'd got better things to do.
Completely bloody ridiculous and patronising.

gobackanddoitproperly · 15/06/2021 18:19

All you need to say really, when you return the call, is thanks for your concern but while you'll see to it that he won't hand out flyers at school again, you son has your permission operate his fledgeling business and have a nice day goodbye.

Puddlelane123 · 15/06/2021 18:20

Batshit! Total over-reaction by the school in my book. Don’t give it any more headspace OP.

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