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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I BU to allow my son to do this?

79 replies

ImaHogg · 15/06/2021 17:52

Am I a bad mother? The school have certainly made me feel like one today.
My son is 16 in October. Last year he and two other friends purchased a second hand lawn mower, they did it up and went round our village (a lovely, safe village) and got themselves a few gardening jobs. This is a village I have lived in for 46 years. A few people even put on our local spotted FB group how lovely it was to see young boys earning some money and working hard.
This year they have saved up and upgraded the lawn mower. They printed off some flyers with their telephone numbers on and are planning to pop them in some doors around the village (nowhere else, just the village where we live) to get some summer money/work.
Today they took some flyers into school to show some mates. A teacher happened to see them, confiscated them and handed them over to the year head. I had a phone call today to advise me that my son and his friends should not be doing this, its a safe guarding issue and I should discourage them from pursuing this interest and I need to have a conversation with him about it tonight.
It was a voicemail message and I haven’t returned his call as I am a bit speechless tbh! I totally appreciate them looking out for the boys but it felt like they were telling me how to parent.
Both my children are fully aware of outside dangers, they would never willing go into a strangers home or take a car journey with someone they don’t know. They are aware of drug dangers etc.
They only want to make a few extra pennies mowing a few lawns and raking some leaves. We are not talking county lines drug trafficking ffs!

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/06/2021 18:22

Is it maybe because of the use of "machinery"?

Original poster
ImaHogg · 15/06/2021 18:25

The weird thing is they haven’t had this conversation with my friends who have 14 year old daughters who do paper rounds. They are out, on their own, on their bikes in the pitch dark in the winter.

OP posts:
jgw1 · 15/06/2021 18:26

@ImaHogg

Am I a bad mother? The school have certainly made me feel like one today. My son is 16 in October. Last year he and two other friends purchased a second hand lawn mower, they did it up and went round our village (a lovely, safe village) and got themselves a few gardening jobs. This is a village I have lived in for 46 years. A few people even put on our local spotted FB group how lovely it was to see young boys earning some money and working hard. This year they have saved up and upgraded the lawn mower. They printed off some flyers with their telephone numbers on and are planning to pop them in some doors around the village (nowhere else, just the village where we live) to get some summer money/work. Today they took some flyers into school to show some mates. A teacher happened to see them, confiscated them and handed them over to the year head. I had a phone call today to advise me that my son and his friends should not be doing this, its a safe guarding issue and I should discourage them from pursuing this interest and I need to have a conversation with him about it tonight. It was a voicemail message and I haven’t returned his call as I am a bit speechless tbh! I totally appreciate them looking out for the boys but it felt like they were telling me how to parent. Both my children are fully aware of outside dangers, they would never willing go into a strangers home or take a car journey with someone they don’t know. They are aware of drug dangers etc. They only want to make a few extra pennies mowing a few lawns and raking some leaves. We are not talking county lines drug trafficking ffs!
What an excellent thing. It is such a shame that more teenagers don't have the initiative and interested parents to do similar.
YouDoIDo · 15/06/2021 18:26

Fair play to them. I would ignore the teachers most children work at 16 what if they became window cleaners or something similar that involved them being in/around people's home are they not allowed jobs like that. You have bought up a little business man there well done. I would ask the teacher if they think you should of sent him to the dole office to sign on instead with all the other young ones that want free cash handed to them on a plate (obviously not ALL are like this).

wildeverose · 15/06/2021 18:27

Ridiculous. We did this at school to earn our "pocket money" and our parents were proud we were trying.
Sounds like you have a lovely lad and the school are looking for issues

Zanzibar55 · 15/06/2021 18:27

What is wrong with today's namby pamby society? How is mowing lawns a 'safeguarding ' issue?
And if the school is concerned about phone numbers being given out - where's the harm in that? Every single business gives a phone number.
Good luck to your son and his friends.

FindingMeno · 15/06/2021 18:27

I am a grumpy bugger but sometimes I wonder if schools are more interested in what goes on outside school, rather than in school under their own noses.

GreyhoundG1rl · 15/06/2021 18:27

@ImaHogg

The weird thing is they haven’t had this conversation with my friends who have 14 year old daughters who do paper rounds. They are out, on their own, on their bikes in the pitch dark in the winter.
Maybe they're not aware of this.
Tlollj · 15/06/2021 18:29

What about babysitting or paper rounds? Absolute nonsense. Wished they lived near me I could do with a grass cutting service.

NanaNorasNaughtyKnickers · 15/06/2021 18:32

a) None of their sodding business.

b) Ludicrous.

Ambo21 · 15/06/2021 18:36

School is box ticking.. if anything untoward happens they have warned you and it will no longer be their fault/responsibility...

Thank them for their concern and move on..

They were not touting for business on school premises...it was a private conversation among friends.. ..
They have parental support and involvement in their own small community where they are known and they and their parents know the people they are providing the service for...

Support the kids...they are doing fine... showing initiative and enterprise.. not loitering on street corners...shooting up or scaring the old folks...
Be proud of them!!

Killahangilion · 15/06/2021 18:37

My friend’s son has been cutting various neighbours grass since he was 14. He cycles to the houses and uses their equipment. He lives on a farm so the ‘neighbours’ could be a couple of miles away from home.
According to his mum, he’s saving up to rebuild an old tractor. 😂

KeepingTrack · 15/06/2021 18:37

@GreyhoundG1rl

Well, it'll absolutely be about handing their phone numbers out to all and sundry. They shouldn't have taken them into school 🤷🏻‍♀️
How do they think people are going to contact them if there isn’t a phone number to ring them? Confused
FrippEnos · 15/06/2021 18:38

Its a safeguarding issue because they are giving out their phone number to strangers.

I doubt that the school will take it further but they have to do this as they have a duty of care.

thesandwich · 15/06/2021 18:39

Very enterprising- but do have a think about insurance. A friend had her lawns cut and the mower flicked up a stone which shattered one skin of a conservatory window……
Good luck to them

bloodywhitecat · 15/06/2021 18:42

School seem to be massively over thinking things in my opinion.

Tiredmum100 · 15/06/2021 18:42

I'd be really proud of my ds's if they did this in the future. Good for your son OP! I was babysitting at 12, working weekends in a nursing home at 14 and then working in a shop serving alcohol at 14/15 (back in the 90s, shocking now! I remember when the tills changed and we couldn't serve alcohol if we were under 18 and signed in as ourselves). I can't see the problem myself.

Zzelda · 15/06/2021 18:43

Its a safeguarding issue because they are giving out their phone number to strangers.

They can and probably should assign a separate phone to calls for the purposes of this work.

DumpyDonkey · 15/06/2021 18:44

The world has gone mad.

I'd be happy to let a group of 14 Yr olds do this.

Bonkers.

WorraLiberty · 15/06/2021 18:44

@thesandwich

Very enterprising- but do have a think about insurance. A friend had her lawns cut and the mower flicked up a stone which shattered one skin of a conservatory window…… Good luck to them
OMG my DH did exactly the same to ours when mowing the lawn!

The same lawn he'd mowed for 20 years. Awful freak accident.

MrMeSeeks · 15/06/2021 18:45

Wtf? I was working a few weeks after my sixteen birthday, what a ridiculous overraction

MrMeSeeks · 15/06/2021 18:46

Overreaction*

MrMeSeeks · 15/06/2021 18:46

And good on your son and friends!!

Twistered · 15/06/2021 18:47

School are being ridiculous. They should be praising the boys and holding them up to others as an example of using iniative.
Wth

WiddlinDiddlin · 15/06/2021 18:48

Ugh...

YANBU... I remember getting ripped to shreds by a teacher for my business of producing friendship bracelets, at age 12.

She had the absolute cheek to call it a 'scam'...

To this day I don't understand what was 'scammy' about taking orders for colour selection, width and wrist size, making bracelets and selling them at a profit - it is something I still do today, though slightly different materials.

In the same day as I was told 'school is not a place for selling things' they sent round they flipping Usborne books flyer!

OP - I would consider getting him a second phone for business use only, and look at insurance, but otherwise, it's a good enterprise with lots of potential for expansion (get a jet wash, do peoples drives and patios is just one..) and good on him for doing something productive!