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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ds 6 pull ups at night

30 replies

Littlelegs2 · 13/06/2021 16:26

ds is 6. He has autism. And in pull ups at night. AIBU to think its not a big deal. ?
His dad keeps making comments about it. And gets funny about ds having extra help at school and assessments for a possible 121. Ds was having assessments for autism since he was 2.5 has 6 now and was Diagnosed in February.

OP posts:
Actuallyabitgreynow · 13/06/2021 16:28

It's not a big deal. My DS isn't autistic (although probably is on the spectrum) and still wears them at night at 4.5 and I'm not remotely concerned. Maybe if in a year he is still in them, seek out some support, but if he's not ready then he's not ready.

trevthecat · 13/06/2021 16:34

Not a big deal at all. My nephew is 6 and NT and still has a pull up at night

monkeytenniss · 13/06/2021 16:36

@Actuallyabitgreynow

It's not a big deal. My DS isn't autistic (although probably is on the spectrum) and still wears them at night at 4.5 and I'm not remotely concerned. Maybe if in a year he is still in them, seek out some support, but if he's not ready then he's not ready.
If you're 'on the spectrum' you're autistic. Confused
Littlefluffyclouds13 · 13/06/2021 16:37

My ds isn't autistic and he was in pull ups until he was 7.
This was the sort of shit my ex dh used to chuck at me, despite me raising both our children with almost zero practical or financial help from him.

Ignore ignore ignore, easier said than done I know Sad

gobackanddoitproperly · 13/06/2021 16:38

My son was 9 and NT.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 13/06/2021 16:39

My daughter has ADHD and wet the bed until age 12. She had pull ups until about 11 years old. I read quite a lot about this and it is not uncommon. I didn't want her on medication and I read somewhere that there is now the thinking that at puberty this issue often resolves, which it did for my daughter. My friend used to work with school boarders and said it wasn't uncommon with older kids to wet the bet at times. I wouldn't worry about it, it will resolve at some point! At times I was worried about my daughter and spoke to various colleagues, friends and neighbours. I was surprised how many older kids do still wet the bed, it just isn't talked about.

InvincibleInvisibility · 13/06/2021 16:39

DS1 was in pull ups at night until 7. Later discovered he has ADHD.

DS2 in pull ups until 6. NT

Its really not a problem. 25% of children aged 5 regularly wet the bed

Original poster
Littlelegs2 · 13/06/2021 16:43

@Littlefluffyclouds13

My ds isn't autistic and he was in pull ups until he was 7. This was the sort of shit my ex dh used to chuck at me, despite me raising both our children with almost zero practical or financial help from him.

Ignore ignore ignore, easier said than done I know Sad

Oh it's the same with the kids dad . He does not parent at all. Oh part from the Sunday bath.
OP posts:
OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 13/06/2021 16:43

2 of my kids, both NT, were in them until 8. Your ds is well within the "normal" range.

Maskedrevenger · 13/06/2021 16:47

Plenty of children, especially boys, who are not autistic struggle for various reasons to be dry at night. My son, who is not autistic, was not reliably dry every night until he was 13 he used pull up type pants when away from home, we had tried everything available and the enuresis nurse we saw said that in a class of 30 12 year olds at least one will not be reliably dry. His dad is an idiot making comments and shaming him is not going to help your DS. Maybe look online for information your DS is not the only one.
By the way we were told that being older before being dry at night can be an inherited trait, was your DH later himself and was he shamed as well, he may be repeating bad parenting that he experienced himself?

Snaketime · 13/06/2021 16:48

My DD is 7 and is currently being assessed for ADHD she is still in pull ups at night. I really wouldn't worry about it too much. His dad is being an ass.

MrsBlythe · 13/06/2021 16:49

My son was in pull ups until 7 nearly 8. He handled it really well, going to sleepovers and never seemed to bothered younger sis no longer in them. We did get referred to a clinic at 7, who gave us an alarm to try. Appears he was just a really heavy sleeper as this would wake us up - but not him! I think he just naturally grew out of it. It's not much talked about (wish it was) but much more common than you think.

Furiousfive · 13/06/2021 16:56

It's very normal. Ds2 (NT) is still in night pull ups at age 6 - no signs of being dry

Maskedrevenger · 13/06/2021 16:56

Also the supermarkets sell Dry Nites Pyjama Pants from age 8 - 15 they wouldn’t sell them if there were no parents buying them, would they?

StopPokingTheRoyalTitDear · 13/06/2021 16:58

Not a big deal and many children who don’t have SN aren’t dry at night by 6.

THATbasicSNOWFLAKE · 13/06/2021 17:01

Yanbu

My eldest two wore them til 7/8 years old and have no additional needs

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 13/06/2021 17:03

DD1 is 6y 5m and wears pull ups.

Mostly she is dry at night and will sometimes have a night without them but generally feels more comfortable with them. Fine.

If she were pooing at night I would be concerned but I won't go to the GP until she's 8.

piglet81 · 13/06/2021 17:06

My 6yo is in pull-ups at night. He’s had maybe three dry nights in his life so I don’t think he’ll get it any time soon but that’s ok.

LaTomatina · 13/06/2021 17:06

Yup, totally normal. My eldest has no additional needs but wasn't dry at night til he was 8.

Original poster
Littlelegs2 · 13/06/2021 17:07

@StopPokingTheRoyalTitDear

Not a big deal and many children who don’t have SN aren’t dry at night by 6.
Yes I agree I was not sure about putting the autism part because I don't think its relevant in this case to be honest.
OP posts:
britespark1 · 13/06/2021 17:24

My middle DS is on the spectrum and stopped wearing them age 7. His little brother who is not on the spectrum stopped aged 8. I did fret for a while but there was no need.

MrsFin · 13/06/2021 17:29

I've taken plenty of Brownies who use night time pull ups on sleepovers. Girls aged 7-10. It's not unusual, though more common in boys I think.

ElspethFlashman · 13/06/2021 17:31

DS is 6.5. We've gotten him out of pull ups in the past few months but still have a incontinence sheet under his real sheet because he will have an accident still about once a week. But once a week isn't enough for pull ups, iykwim.

He has ADHD but tbh I'm not sure if it's relevant either because DHs nephew was in them until 9 and he was NT.

Their Dadis extremely unrealistic about boys.

NeverEnoughCake2 · 13/06/2021 17:47

Another NT DS who was still in pull-ups at 6 here. I read that night-time dryness requires a certain level of biological development - it's not just a behavioural thing that can be fixed with the right parenting techniques. Kids can't be dry at night until their body makes enough of a special hormone that slows down the rate urine's produced at night. They all get there at different rates, and boys tend to be a bit slower than girls. I'd guess your DS hasn't hit that point yet. So, your ex is definitely being unhelpful and could do with a science lesson!

tiredybear · 13/06/2021 17:51

my 6yo NT DS has only been out of night time pull ups for the last 3 DAYS. ... and I'm still taking him to the loo in the middle of the night.

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