Awkward random comments about your size

[NothingIcando]

Aibu to feel slightly bothered by this comment?

I was helping a friend with some DIY, during that time 2 couples arrived to the house to see my friend and friend's parents.

I am friendly with both couples but not an actual friend,said hello and carried on working.

One couple had their newborn (premature) baby with them.
Heard mum of baby and others talking from the next room about how tiny baby was etc.
I had finished up and was leaving, I came and stood at the door to say goodbye to all.

The lady from the other couple was holding the baby at the time whilst new mum was sitting on the floor and everyone else standing/sitting around.
I smiled and said ''wow she really is teeny tiny and so beautiful''.
Mum of baby responded ''What about you ?You're very tiny?!''.... 6 people were looking at me as if waiting for me to reply

I didn't know what to say so I just awkwardly repeated..'Yeah,she's so little'.

My friends mother then turned and said ''No,shes talking about you!''.....6 people are now looking me up and down. Still waiting for me to say something?? What was I supposed to say?? It was so awkward so I just said again 'ah, but the baby'' and nodded at her.
It was really awkward so I just smiled and said 'ok I'm off''!

Was that weird? Or am I just mad? I am petite. But..wasn't that very random? Was there a normal response I could have given?

In the grand scheme of things its really not a problem.

But it made me wonder,is it just socially acceptable to talk/ask someone about their body or size if they are smaller but not if they are bigger?
I dont think I've ever asked/commented on anybody's size or shape in general.

But did that sound like a usual thing to say ?

I dont think I've ever asked/commented on anybody's size or shape in general.

But you just did! You said the baby was teeny tiny, and then you repeated it by saying the baby was little.

Oh sorry. I see.! It was just that the baby's size was the topic of conversation the whole time I was in earshot

So I thought it was acceptable there, I didn't just bring it up or question the woman about babies size,if you get me.

baby's*

I think it’s a weird time to drop round for a social visit when someone is doing DIY!
But I’m sorry it upset you. I know it’s easier said than done but try not to let it get to you.

And when they arrived I was working and said hello , mum called over and smiled ''i bet you havnt seen a baby so small!' So when I finished I went to see. I just though it was odd what was said and that I was expected to reply. I wondering was there an appropriate response I could have given without looking/feeling so awkward.

You started the conversation about body size. Ok you could take the view it’s different to comment on a baby’s size than an adult’s but the mum of the premature baby may have heard “she’s so tiny” a hundred times and she may have been through a tough time due to baby being tiny- hospital stays, feeding difficulties, extra weigh ins etc, and your comment on the baby’s size struck a nerve so she turned it back on you. People can be funny about their baby’s size- I’ve seen posts on here where mums are annoyed when others comment how big their baby is.
Stick to “she’s so cute/adorable” next time.

I do think that, had you not mentioned the baby being small, no one would have commented on your size. It would be too random otherwise. I think your comment and her comment are linked

Maybe you inadvertently offended the mum with your comment. eg if the baby was premature or the mum has received derogatory comments about her baby being too small by others. So she thought you were making a jab, and made one in return?

That could be a reach though!

Cross post with comments above that baby’s mum already brought up the baby’s size.

Thanks Sparklesocks I'm more wondering..than bothered. I think my own awkwardness is what bothered me the most

Forgot to add, you’re completely right that society thinks it’s okay to comment on small/slim people, but you’re simultaneously a cunt if you do the same to big people. There’s definitely a double standard

Okeydokey I hear you all. That was definitely my mistake for getting it wrong. I thought because mum called over to tell me how small she was and all the conversation was about look how small she is...that I though it was ok to add in ...''yes..i see what you mean she is so small'' when I finally got to see her. Does that make sense at least ? 😅

Yes that makes sense.

Unfortunately I didn’t see your post at 01:28 before I posted at 01:29, so you can ignore my post and I take it back!

Weird one tbh. If she brought up her baby being tiny, I don’t understand why she brought your size into it

Ah ok! Thanks. I though I was going slightly mad!
It was the only thing that was talked about. I was just agreeing with them.

I disagree with the other comments I'm afraid. I think it's rather odd. People often comment on a newborn baby's size without any comeback about the size of the adult commenting. I don't think one naturally leads to the other.

Maybe the mum is just envious of your presumably slim figure, as she may be struggling with her body image?

Again I could be reaching

I think if it happens again, just go with a profuse “thank you” in response. If they’re trying to be rude, they will look like a dick if they continue to go on after you thank them. And it will show them that their attempt to hurt your feelings didn’t work as you took it as a compliment

mum called over and smiled ''i bet you havnt seen a baby so small!'

OP they sound like utter fucking knobs... every single one of them.

You did nothing wrong, they on the other hand were ignorant Twats. 🌸

I think their comments were very weird!

It is a good point though that many people feel it is fine to pick apart babies' looks but not adults. I know that isn't what you did but it has always interested me how rude many people are about babies.

Thanks callmemaybee the last thing I'd want to do is bother or stress out a new mum! I thought maybe I wasn't picking up on something as the others were waiting for a response. For a split second I thought about saying thank you, but it felt weird and not the right thing to say to a question/observation about me. Anyway at least I wasn't being unreasonable 😅

but it has always interested me how rude many people are about babies
yes ! I've heard some very strange and rude comments in my time!

I disagree.. i dont think the comment about the baby was in any way offensive. It was a very odd retort from the mum. Little bit jealous i would say

Perfectly normal to comment on a tiny baby's size. Most people do so adoringly. Besides, newborns are tiny, premature or not. I can't cater to people being offended by innocuous, well-meaning comments. Become too difficult to say anything at all.

They were rude and you probably weren't as awkward as you felt.

That's why I kept(awkwardly)turning the attention back to the baby. I didn't understand why it had suddenly turned to be about me. I was filthy dirty from working, it was just a quick look and goodbye from the door.

Anyway,thank you all for the sanity check!

@NothingIcando

That's why I kept(awkwardly)turning the attention back to the baby. I didn't understand why it had suddenly turned to be about me. I was filthy dirty from working, it was just a quick look and goodbye from the door.

You were ambushed 🌸