To ask what you would expect to spend for a hen do

[Seaglass87]

I'm arranging a hen do for a friend and I don't know anyone going. She wants a weekend away somewhere (seems to be the standard thing these days). Obviously people have the option of opting out if it is too expensive/ not their thing, but I'm wondering what people think is a reasonable amount all in for a 2 day getaway in the UK?
I've asked other friends and I'm getting wildly different amounts and I'm just trying to get an average really.

I did 2 for my friend, an expensive weekend away for close friends (everyone was well off) and a night out locally so a bigger group could celebrate at a cheaper cost

Don't do something like book a cottage, and if anyone drops out the cost goes up for everyone else. Book a hotel with a free cancellation policy, then no-one will end up out of pocket. Because of covid most places have a free cancellation policy if you pay a bit more per room (and it really is only something like an extra £5).

This will obviously vary massively on where you go, when you go, where you stay and what you do. I think brides should really organise their own hen nights-it’s too much for someone else to do when they don’t know the people going as well.

Resentfully i would be prepared to pay up to £300 for a weekend of someone I really liked.

But if people have kids don't bother with a weekend. It's expensive and attendees will resent it.

No way I'd do this. You could wind up bearing a lot of the costs depending on what you book. The advice about a hotel with a free cancellation policy is good.

I honestly think given the year we've had, this sort of thing needs to be toned down massively. Expecting people to pay hundreds when you don't know what their situation is, is just so selfish. A meal out should be more than enough.

It’s not ideal you don’t know anyone going, how likely they will want to stay the weekend, travelling requirements, what they like/don’t like, how much they want to spend. Etc.

You could do a doodle poll and ask everyone what they want via that.

Personally I’d be reluctant to go anywhere and would prefer a day experience with afternoon tea instead. But perhaps that’s just me and my fears if groups of drunk people forgetting how to socially distance….

I’d only attend an afternoon or night if actually invited to the wedding and wouldn’t give up a whole weekend or the expense of it for a hen do.

I'm going to a hen do which is £250 for a weekend away in the UK. I don't mind paying it because I know quite a few of the women going and I know we'll have a good time. I do think the cost of hen and stag dos is ridiculous. Even more so when the hen or stag decide they want something quite expensive which they themselves don't have to chip in for. I've been invited to another hen do next year which is going to be in a European city. That one was going to be £500 before flights. I've opted out of that because I don't really know the bride that well (I'm only invited as my partner is a groomsman) and I can think of better ways to spend my money.

I hate the more then one day hen do's. I'd expect to spend around £100. I personally don't attend the weekend ones. I just can't be bothered.

I went to one hen do and the person organising it wanted to spend stupid amounts as it was her best friend. I might be outnumbered here but I don't want to pay for someone else's hen do. She wanted a male stripper etc which just gave me the ick. I didn't go in the end as it was too expensive.

I like the hen do's where you just go out to a town, have a good night and go home!

When I say weekend I mean ones that stretch from the Fri-Sun or Sat-Sun.

I think people appreciate something local where there's no obligation to stay over. Meet for afternoon tea or go to a comedy club or whatever suits your group. Max £75 for a great day.

I generally only accept invites to one day events as accomodation and all the other bits just increases the cost to virtually a holiday for one otherwise. Additionally, I don’t drink and sometimes its just too much for me. I’d expect to be paying out £100-150 though. I’ve only accepted longer events for my closest couple of friends.

Could you not just book dinner and plan a night in a certain city then have a suggested hotel that people can either book or find cheaper accom elsewhere? Also is it normal to pay for everything for the bride? I've been on a couple and as far as I'm aware we bought her drinks but didn't give her a whole weekend away between us.

Somewhat off topic, but before you invite the guests to a hen weekend, make sure they are invited to the whole of the wedding. I am still resentful of spending a lot of money to attend a hen weekend only to find out that I was “only” invited to the evening do. If I had known I was “only” being invited to the evening do I wouldn’t have gone to that expense.

I think you are asking the wrong people - you need to find out from the people who are attending. So much depends on personal circumstances, e.g. income, how close they are to the bride.

200-300 for accommodation and activities

Too many variables to come up with a figure really.

Depends a lot of people's disposable income and time commitments - what I would've been prepared to pay/do over the last couple of decades would've varied a lot. It also depends on how close my relationship is to the bride/how close the hen group are as a whole.

Personally, I think that most hen dos are best as a day and/or evening out, possibly with one nights accommodation (or even better, just don't have one). A whole weekend away for a hen do is just too much (I do like going away with my friends for the weekend/a few days but entire weekend being classed as a hen do is just too much with too much obligation involved).

I would just email out a link to a Microsoft form (or similar) and get the information you want/ideas from the people who will be invited to attend.

My hen do is next month, £70 for the train and £70 each for the air bnb for two nights. Not doing any planned activities that cost loads of money on top of that (like cocktail making sessions or spas or whatever) but will be having a couple of meals out and going shopping so will need some money on top of that. I’m paying for myself, can’t imagine letting anyone pay for me when they’re all already giving up time and money on my behalf!

I’ve been to a few and normally spent £200 each which has included accommodation (normally air bnb), an activity, a meal and food for the house. Then people have had to pay a bit on top for perhaps another activity, often optional and a possibly a meal and drinks.

When did hen events change from a good night out when everyone gets dressed up, a lovely dinner, drinks and maybe a boogie?
I don't want to go away for a weekend with people I don't really know, and that's just for starters!

For a good friend, probably up o £200/250. For someone else, dinner and drinks only so around £50-60.

I think you first need to figure out if the attendees wants a night away. I know the bride to be wants but if none of the attendees does then its not really going to work out of if only a few does then it also needs a different type of accommodation.
So I would first find out
Weekend away? How many nights ?
Then I would try to come up with different budgets and find out the price range ppl where interest to pay
And then you can better plan and book

She wants a weekend away somewhere (seems to be the standard thing these days). Obviously people have the option of opting out if it is too expensive/ not their thing

This is what I don't get. Surely it's about the bride to be spending time with her close friends and family, so she wouldn't want to organise something and have them drop out if they don't fancy it/can't afford it. You really need to speak to the invitees, see what's affordable and work it out from there. If the bride insists on going to Chewton Glen and her friends can't stretch to that, she is being tone deaf and a bit cheeky.

This is an impossible question to ask as it depends on so many variables- the most important being the guests availability and budget.

One option would be to have a weekend where people could attend for all of it or part of it depending on their budget.

My cousin got married just before the first lockdown and they had a broad range of guests for the hen party, so what we did was organised a weekend in a local city. Most of us got the train on Saturday lunch time from our local station and we had a little picnic on the train, got to the city and checked in to our hotel (Travelodge in the city centre) then got ready and then went out for a nice dinner followed by drinks. The following day we went to do a bit of window shopping then afternoon tea and then the train home. Everything was optional - some people came to dinner but didn't go to drinks afterwards; some people gave the shopping a miss as they were hungover and wanted a lie in and met us for afternoon tea; one guest couldn't come on the train as she had work commitments on Saturday so she drove to the city and met us at at restaurant for dinner; a couple caught the first train home on Sunday because they had commitments with their families that they had to get back for etc etc

I think all in - train, dinner, drinks, hotel, shopping afternoon tea- I spent about £200, but that was comfortably within my budget and I could have spent less or more depending on the choices (train tickets booked on super advanced prices; I shared a room with my sister because I like having my own space but 4 of my younger cousins all shared one room because they're all super close in age and didn't mind sharing for one night; we all paid for our own dinner at a nice mid range restaurant so there were options for every budget; afternoon tea was a set price, iirc about £25, but you could upgrade to add Prosecco if you wanted etc)