Help. Guy at work being creepy idk what to do

[Poorkitty]

Sorry I know this might not be the place but I'm really uneasy right now and I dont know what to do.

I'm at work. (Yes and also on here..) its quiet, ok.
I'm working at a young person's home with another agency worker. This agency worker is male and hes making me really uncomfortable.

Earlier on he was asking me questions about myself, just trying to make conversation I thought and it was nice because it filled up the day/stopped it being awkwardly silent.
I'm a little bit of an open book (to a point!) So happily chatted away... as the convo goes on he then starts asking me about my sex life/experiences, trying to get answers out of me that I kept dodging, he asked if I'd ever been with a black man 🤨(hes black fwiw). I didnt answer and he kept pushing for answers and I asked why do you want to know that?? He said something like "well you were being so open before why not about this?" I just said I wasnt answering and laughed it off (out of awkwardness/not know what to do) he laughed too and I thought that was that.. no. He keeps making remarks about my appearance,hair but in a creepy way. He just said I should invite him up to where I live.. I dodged the subject.
He keeps following me into different rooms so I'm now in the front room with the young person (watching lion king..) and hes in the kitchen.
I feel ok right now but I know young person is going to go to bed in the next hour or so so I'm going to be left alone with creepy guy until 10pm when he finishes.
Idk what to do I'm working myself up over it. Nothing will happen most likely but I'm freaked out and wanted to tell someone 😔
I cant ring anyone to come cover for me, I cant leave I'm stuck here looking after young person with him.

Wow.

Well apparently he is at the same placement today and has been told to leave. He wont ever be allowed back there, my agency is telling his agency and also said something about informing the DBS service as she feels he shouldn't be in this line of work if thats what hes doing.
I have to type up a detailed statement and send that to my agency so they can send it to the company.

The company leader (so who we were hired by) is apparently horrified but thanked me for telling her, said I shouldn't worry and did the right thing.

Why does part of me feel guily for getting him into trouble for this?? I know I did the right thing but I feel guilty hes now lost his job too. Like I should have just put it to the back of my mind and not made a big deal out of it. Almost like I'm the one who's now caused trouble for someone else?

Well done for reporting, I'm glad it's been sorted so quickly. Btw, did you mention
he didn't really bother with YP all day he just sat on his phone and ate her food. He even had a nap at one point!
as well as the sexual harrassment?

Yes I did. The company want that put in my statement too.

You wouldn't be the first person he's harrassed and this wouldn't be the first time he's had a nap at work or eaten the food of his YP - it's just the first time someone's had their complaint listened to. Well done for standing up for yourself.

Don't feel guilty about making a justified complaint. If he loses his job, it's by his own actions.
The super-swift reaction of his own agency makes me wonder if he has "sailed close to the wind" before, but other victims "didn't like to make a fuss". In any case, good to hear that they took decisive action, and didn't try to minimise or dismiss your concerns.
I can understand you feeling sorry for his dependents, but you should be praised for stopping this behaviour before it escalates. Think of your co-workers, who may not be as strong-minded as you, and the vulnerable people who deserve to be properly cared for.

Considering you are working with vulnerable young people, it was vital this creep waa reported.

Imagine if he was inappropriate with a young adult.

You have done the right thing OP.

Bad things happen when people don't report things like this.

You are an adult who felt uncomfortable.
Think of a young vulnerable person in his charge.

she feels he shouldn't be in this line of work if thats what hes doing

She is absolutely right!

You've nothing to feel guilty about and I think it's far from likely you were his first victim and that it's even possible he was like this with service users.

He did this to himself with his own behaviour and indeed if he's been pulled up about similar behaviour before then he knew he was skating on thin ice!

Part of your role I would think is advocating for the young person too? Which you have done here

Honestly you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. Quite the opposite, well done

I’m late to this thread but I’m so glad you’ve reported it. If people can’t treat people with respect and maintain boundaries they certainly shouldn’t be working with vulnerable people.

Tell him firmly that he is making you uncomfortable and it is your wish that he stays in a different room to you until the remainder of your shift. If he doesn't comply, call his agency and report him, and tell your own agency about the situation as well. You can also warn him that you will be doing that as well if he doesn't comply.

@RainatMoonlight Eh??
I think you need to read the thread again ....

Well done, OP! You have NO need to feel guilty - predatory pricks like this rely on women being silent. Good on your agency having your back.

You’re awesome OP! Well done for reporting. So glad they’ve taken it seriously.

I’m sorry the guilt is creeping in but that is how we are socialised as females. Not to make a fuss, not to upset the men no matter what, to put up with feeling uncomfortable because that’s our role.

But you’ve stood up to this creep and potentially saved other carers and young people from being in danger. You should be really proud!

Awww thanks everyone I feel better now

Yeah you're right, even if not for me I need to think about others as well as the vulnerable people he works with. If hes going to speak to a total stranger like that, in a working environment where a vulnerable YP is (never mind everything else he did!) then god knows what else he's capable of.

I guess its one of those situations in life that you dont ask or expect to be in but then you have to act on it, even if it makes you uncomfortable. 🤷‍♀️

Don’t feel guilty, you did the right thing.

I find women are conditioned to feel guilt in situations like this. Especially where a women complaining leads to a man, potentially, losing his job. You didn’t cause him to lose his job, he did that all by himself. This isn’t on you.

Came onto say the above ....
The only person who lost him that job was himself.
Poor at his job and a creep!