Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Generous or normal?

80 replies

Gymhairdontcare · 12/06/2021 18:55

Is it normal to use a partners car if yours is broken and partner not using it or is it generous of them to let you use it ?

OP posts:
BrownEyedGirl80 · 12/06/2021 22:45

It's normal.We are insured for each others but we never change the other person's driving position..ever.

whiteroseredrose · 12/06/2021 22:45

We mix and match cars. Technically the bigger car is mine as I used to ferry the DC around however and the mini is DH's. But we just take whichever car suits.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 12/06/2021 22:55

Assuming you have been together a while, absolutely normal!

watingroom2 · 12/06/2021 23:22

@whiteroseredrose

We mix and match cars. Technically the bigger car is mine as I used to ferry the DC around however and the mini is DH's. But we just take whichever car suits.
For short journeys OH - suffers with my 'seat being a bit short in the leg' for him - whereas I have to change his seat - else I can't reach the peddles..
Ragwort · 13/06/2021 07:30

Totally normal although to be honest I have never driven my DH's newish car because it is massive and seems complicated. But his car was being fixed this week & he needed to go away for a couple of nights on business so of course he used mine ... I can walk to work & would have used a taxi in an emergency.

Biker47 · 13/06/2021 08:34

My partner is not insured on my car, I'm insured on theirs. I use theirs sometimes, but mostly use my bike if not using car.

LemonRoses · 13/06/2021 08:38

We too say his car and my car but only as identifiers. Everything in a true partnership is shared. We wouldn’t usually ask to use either car - certainly not permission but perhaps checking out plans and juggling needs of one we’re out of action, for some reason.

It’s teasing surely, to suggest using a family car requires generosity?

80sMum · 13/06/2021 08:46

Completely normal. But we wouldn't borrow each others car without asking first, just in case it was needed for something that the borrower didn't know about.
We are each named drivers on the other's insurance policy, so fully covered to swap cars whenever needed.

SleepyPartyTime · 13/06/2021 08:56

I'm assuming 'partner' means an established relationship, possibly living together. In that case I would expect them to let them use their car, it wouldn't even be a question. Unless perhaps the person has a history of careless driving and it's a special car.

HmmmmmmInteresting · 13/06/2021 09:00

Normal. I use my XH's car in this situation so would find it weird if a PARTNER wouldn't let me use his car!

MoisterThanAnOyster · 13/06/2021 09:21

@Gymhairdontcare

My insurance covers me to drive other cars
@Gymhairdontcare if you are counting on the ‘Drive Other Cars’ part of your current policy, I’d check again. This normally excludes cars owned by your partner.
KingdomScrolls · 13/06/2021 09:36

@MoisterThanAnOyster why on earth would an insurance policy exclude partners' cars?! I've never had a policy say that.

MoisterThanAnOyster · 13/06/2021 10:32

@KingdomScrolls Admiral’s terms:-

The policyholder may also drive with the consent of the owner of a private motor car as long as the other car is not a hire or rental car, is not owned by you or your partner nor obtained by you or your partner under a hire purchase or lease agreement, within our territorial limits, providing there is a valid insurance policy in force for that car. The cover is Third party only.

billy1966 · 13/06/2021 10:49

Absolutely normal.

He sounds like a right dick.

justchecking1 · 13/06/2021 12:56

My insurance covers me to drive other cars

That might change my mind, actually. It would only be third party cover you'd get so if you were in an accident you'd have to be in the financial position to pay for a replacement or I'd be left with no car. Are you?

Original poster
Gymhairdontcare · 13/06/2021 19:01

Thanks for your replies, I've told him to shove his car up his arse if he feels that way about it xx

OP posts:
HmmmmmmInteresting · 14/06/2021 18:59

@Gymhairdontcare

Thanks for your replies, I've told him to shove his car up his arse if he feels that way about it xx
It doesn't really solve his selfishness problem, though
MinkeDinkie · 14/06/2021 19:16

I'd say it's normal - but I'd expect to both be named drivers on each other's policies. I'd not be letting someone drive my car on 3rd party insurance unless it was a real emergency.

chunkymonkey101 · 14/06/2021 19:37

Its normal. We have cars and we use whichever one is convenient/easiest. We both have a set of keys for the cars so its not even something I would ask.

stackemhigh · 14/06/2021 19:48

What a twat, he sounds stingy with his car and consideration.

No, it’s not generous to let your spouse borrow your car.

It does seem to be common for men to buy stupid hobby cars and then demand to drive their partner’s practical car whenever they want, but that’s a different issue.

shivawn · 14/06/2021 19:57

In an 11 year relationship? Not generous, totally basic and normal.

NotTheCatsWhiskers · 14/06/2021 20:20

Normal. But we don’t have his and hers cars. We just have cars.

MasterBeth · 14/06/2021 20:20

@Gymhairdontcare

Partner of 11 years child together so not just early days!
Whaaat?

Not in the slightest bit generous. You are family.

MasterBeth · 14/06/2021 20:22

@Pemba

You've been together for years, you have a child FGS. Of course it's just normal, not 'generous'. What's wrong with him?

Why are so many men these days so selfish?

Sexist crap.
FizzyPink · 14/06/2021 20:23

Very normal. Our car is technically DPs as he uses it for work and I don’t really have any need to use it. However, if I want to go somewhere while he’s at work which requires a train or car he will practically force me to take the car while he gets an Uber.