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AIBU?

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Original poster

Generous or normal?

80 replies

Gymhairdontcare · 12/06/2021 18:55

Is it normal to use a partners car if yours is broken and partner not using it or is it generous of them to let you use it ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Gymhairdontcare · 12/06/2021 19:47

My insurance covers me to drive other cars

OP posts:
Hollywhiskey · 12/06/2021 19:50

With my husband - totally normal. What's his is mine and vice versa.
However as you said you aren't on his insurance and would be using your own, that would be third party only coverage and I can't afford a new car right now. Therefore I would have to be extremely generous/brave to let you use it - you could be the best driver in the world but you can't control the other drivers so I wouldn't be happy.

Lollypop4 · 12/06/2021 19:51

Normal.
We've always shared each others cars and had one between us too.

At present though DP has a work van which I can't drive (Insurance) and Our family car is in only insured for me - It was £200 cheaper on my own and as DP works every day long hours (esp peak season) it was a bit pointless him being on insurace also.

GameSetMatch · 12/06/2021 19:59

Normal in this house, I just grab the first key I see tbh or whichever has the most charge.

Imapotato · 12/06/2021 20:10

I’d say it’s normal and would be stingy to refuse.

HeronLanyon · 12/06/2021 20:13

Totally normal. Can’t think of why it would be generous in itself - only if eg dp was going to use it and made a rearrangement so I could. Even then that would just be kind of humdrum normal give and take not really ‘generous’.

AuntMargo · 12/06/2021 20:16

Are you sure your partners ! Surely sharing is normal part of a relationship. Very very odd !

JaquelineBean · 12/06/2021 20:18

Hmmmm. DH is a bit precious about his car and I don’t think I’ve ever driven it. I’m on the insurance in case I ever had to.

He has borrowed mine at times, and it does annoy me- when I get it back the mirror, radio, seat, air con etc is all wrong,. So while I DO lend it, it’s only in exceptional circs.

2020nymph · 12/06/2021 20:19

Sorry about your piggy. Thanks

Totally normal in our house, actually, I think DH has driven my car more then I have this year.

Hallyup6 · 12/06/2021 20:22

It'd be generous if he'd planned to use it at the same time but had decided to go on the bus just so you could borrow his car. If it was just going to be sat on the drive an he wasn't going anywhere then it's normal.

My husband doesn't own a car but I own two. He's free to take whichever he wants, when he wants to, without asking. I don't feel I'm being generous.

DukeOfEarlGrey · 12/06/2021 20:22

Not only normal but to be expected. Very odd not to share unless the car is super special in some way - and even then I’d be a bit annoyed tbh.

Tohaveandtohold · 12/06/2021 20:24

It’s normal here. We’re insured in each other’s cars so can drive either one. He works one hour drive away ( it’ll be almost 3 hours by public transport) and his car had to go to the garage, I let him take my car as I could get to work and do school pick ups easily with a bus or taxi though it’s not convenient.

thefirstmrsrochester · 12/06/2021 20:28

Normal. If one of our cars is off the road, then the car that isn’t goes to whomever needs to use it the most on that given day. I’m not precious about cars, and would sooner hoof it than use DH car, but by fuck would I be calling use of it if ever needed ‘generous’.

FlamingoQueen · 12/06/2021 20:30

You should be allowed to use the car - but most importantly, I’m so sorry about your guinea pig.

RandomUsernameHere · 12/06/2021 20:44

It's his behaviour that's not normal. He sounds very petty and calculating.

TweedyPuu · 12/06/2021 21:29

Completely normal. If I wasn't using my car and DPs was broken I'd of course expect him to use it, wouldn't bat an eyelid.

We're a family, been together over a decade, we see most things as "ours".

MuchTooTired · 12/06/2021 21:37

It’s perfectly normal to use your partner’s car to me. Sometimes DH will taken mine to work as I’ve got fuel and he’s forgotten to get some before the garage closed, I’ll take his car out for a trip to the shops as it’s fun to drive etc.

It’s MY car, but ours to drive. If DH tried making out he was doing me a favour by letting me use his car, I’d do the same right back the next time he needed mine!

LadyPoison · 12/06/2021 22:14

Perfectly normal -

DP and I swap cars all the time depending on what we need to do and which one has petrol in it. Mine is a fun car whilst his is much more practical.

( I'm also much happier leaving his in the dodgy bit of the city I park in regularly!)

CliftonGreenYork · 12/06/2021 22:25

Normal

EL8888 · 12/06/2021 22:34

Normal

Love the way he thinks it’s “generous”. It just demonstrates how stingy he is Confused

LittleOwl153 · 12/06/2021 22:36

If you were not on the insurance for the car then you would not be driving it - sorry. I dont think 3rd party on your own insurance is enough. What would happen if you caused damage - who'd pay? Not with the agro.
But properly insured then yeah I wouldn't be too fussed.

Lougle · 12/06/2021 22:41

We're both named drivers on each other's insurance. We each have a car as a main driver. If I want to take DH's car for some reason, I'll just say 'I'm going to take your car.' My car (bigger) is the default family car, so we don't even discuss if he's going to take it. The only time he'd use his car at the weekend is if we were both going out to different places.

LaMariposa · 12/06/2021 22:42

Normal. DH drives my car, although he normally asks. Saying that, I’m not on the insurance don’t drive his. It’s a huge beast of a BMW and an automatic, I wouldn’t want to either as I’d be too scared I’d crash it.

alwayswithhope · 12/06/2021 22:43

It’s completely normal and shouldn’t even merit a discussion. Myself & DH don’t even have our own car we have two cars we both use

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 12/06/2021 22:45

He's being a dick. Especially if you used the car to buy food which he's eating too.