Neighbour watering my fence

[crappytimes]

Have lived in current house 15 yrs and always had a good, not close, relationship with neighbours. We very recently agreed to go halves on a fence between our back gardens as the previous one was rotten and about to collapse and had loads of ivy coming over from their side to ours. The team did a great job, took our a few trees and v larger ivy roots. The other day I noticed neighbour had a hose/sprinkler pointed at fence right by my back door so they're not really watering flowers (think he grows sunflowers there) but watering the entire 6ft fence and water seeping all the way through and also my plants and paving (and me if I walk out the door). I texted owner's son (also living there and my contact for them) and he said he'd ask his dad's to stop but gave a shirty reply about "sorry if he's not watering correctly". I said it's not about watering correctly just don't want new fence to go rotten like old one. Anyhow 2 days go by and no more watering of fence (something I admit he's done the last 15 yrs which has always bugged me). I've gone outside just now and it's midnight and he's watering the fence again- presumably assuming i wouldn't be out this late. I really am pissed off as I know it will ruin new fence and is really pointless. He's only got concrete breeze blocks with weeds and a few sunflowers. I don't want to seem rude- parents are elderly and have always been nice but given I've just paid for the fence I feel I should stand firm. AIBU?

Ha, maybe I misunderstood, sorry. English isn't my native language and I do lack the skill of reading between the lines etc. and sometimes get wrong end of the stick quite easily.

@violetbunny

YANBU. I don't think it's the same as getting rained on. For one thing, the fence is already getting rained on, this is extra time it's getting wet and the pressure from having the water pointed straight at the fence will be more damaging if done consistently and repeatedly over time.

Load of rubbish unless you have the flimsiest fence known to man

It’s not some manic, my sunflowers and significantly larger than yours competition going on is it ...

First of all you need to apologise to the son for the text. Have a face to face chat with him and say you over stepped the mark. There is obviously more to this and he is the carer. He may at first be resistant to an open conversation but make it clear that you are there if he needs to talk more.

I had a problem with an overflow pipe constantly overflowing. The neighbour, living alone, seemed to be absent and there were flies batting against the window. Her neighbour on the other side called the police and they came and the situation was eventually sorted. It was a very sad case of mental illness that had escalated upon the death of her dog.

However I did call the water supplier and they did come out. They were excellent and explained that it was an incredibly long and complicated procedure, whilst at the same time having much sympathy for me and the neighbour.

Talk to the son, apologise and see if a more empathetic resolution can be found.

@roguetomato

Ha, maybe I misunderstood, sorry. English isn't my native language and I do lack the skill of reading between the lines etc. and sometimes get wrong end of the stick quite easily.

Mine neither so I do lack syntax which would make what I am saying make sense😂 Don't worry. I think we are both reasonable jsut looking from different angles

This is the problem of communicating by text message instead of speaking to other humans face to face. Things get taken the wrong way.

I also don't think you are going to change a habit of 15 years with one text message.

If it bothers you take round a box of biscuit, knock on their door and speak nicely to them about it.

Far greater chance of success.

When we had a new fence put up we were told by our gardeners to water it now and again in hot weather for the first few weeks so the wood didn’t dry out too quickly and split.

summer that’s interesting had never heard that although it makes sense. I bit like ‘running in’ a new car (is that even a thing anymore?)

I'm with you OP.

When it rains, there are dry periods in between where it slows down the growth of fungi and moulds that rot the wood. Even treated wood can still rot if it's not properly cared for.

Having a hose on for long periods of time is just creating a nice moist environment for mould to thrive.

Just leave it OP. It's not worth the aggro of trying to make your elderly neighbour water in the way you believe to be correct.

@crappytimes

I don't see it as being the same as when it rains. He's got a hose pointed at one spot for hours. Probably even overnight (it's his usual practice). When the fence came down to replace i saw exactly the state of the borders (weeds) and doubt it's any different now. I water with a hose in my hand and water the soil not the fence nor leaves as that's just not how to water. It's just common sense.

This is the UK. It rains for hours. Sometimes it rains for days. We also have things called winds which mean that one side of a fence can recieve rain whilst the other does not. We also have strange naturally occurring instances where it rains in one place but not two foot away. These include things like having overhanging trees providing shelter.

This is common knowledge.

YABU

This is the UK. It rains for hours. Sometimes it rains for days. We also have things called winds which mean that one side of a fence can recieve rain whilst the other does not. We also have strange naturally occurring instances where it rains in one place but not two foot away. These include things like having overhanging trees providing shelter.

For sarcasm to work it needs to be brilliantly executed. Your try was a 3/10, at most.

We have droughts in the U.K., we have hosepipe bans and a growing population that puts further pressure on resources. Wasting clean drinking water is reckless and stupid.

I don't think it's the same as getting rained on. It's a pressurised, concentrated jet of water being aimed at the same place continually – how often does rain pelt down that hard?

OP, presumably because he's got plants attached to his side, which is a problem. We told our neighbours we didn't want anything growing right against our new fence because the weight can buckle the panels and they've put their own posts and wire up to support their plants which is a good compromise. You need to talk to him to see if you can do the same.

Thank for the replies. Glad some of you see my pov. The waste of water has really bugged me over the years. I have buckets around the garden and a water butt to conserve water and have been on a water meter since I moved in. I've volunteered for water aid so I'm v aware of importance of not wasting water. I'd always assumed he's not on a meter but the water co. did work on our street a couple of months ago so he must have one now. I will let it lie as don't wish to fall out with them and try and mention it again gently if I see them. And I went halves as I wanted the fence fixed but it should have been his responsibility really. It looks a million times better now.

We have droughts in the U.K., we have hosepipe bans and a growing population that puts further pressure on resources. Wasting clean drinking water is reckless and stupid.

Indeed, but this is not what the OP is complaining about. That is shifting the goal posts.

She actually complaining about potential damage to a fence. A fence that he paid for half of.

Indeed, but this is not what the OP is complaining about. That is shifting the goal posts.

That was in response to a PP.

Ponting out another fact is not shifting the goalposts, though, it's adding to the discussion.

It is shifting the goalposts to start going on about water waste.

If OP really cared about that, she'd have put it in her opening post, but she just went on about it rotting the fence. it's only now other people have brought it up that she's using it as ammunition.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

don't leave your fence out at night OP. it won't just get rained on. it will also get darked on and spiders will rub their willies on it

Thank you! Spiders willies - literally just LOL'd!

It would only be an issue to me if I couldn't get past, without getting wet, or water was flooding into my garden. Wetting the fence comes a cross a bit bonkers. In future, re any little queries, I would not text the son. I would knock on the door and speak to your neighbour, who you normally get along with. His sunflowers are probably his babies 😂. When we moved in to our new builds, we attached one of those retractable washing lines to a shared, new, sturdy, six foot fence post. Out neighbour asked us nicely not to use it, incase it pulled the fence down. I removed it without any issues, but inwardly thought 🙄 and 🤐.If I received a text about it, I'd more likely be arsey about it. As it was, it didn't seem worth an issue and they were nice neighbours.

Again, it's not shifting the goalposts, it's more a refusal to be narrow minded by not seeing what other issues the original complain might bring along.

Make sure you keep the fence well-treated and it'll be fine. It's really not worth getting het up about, cos you know, rain

@Category12, Problem is you can’t treat/paint a damp fence, and it has to be able to dry afterwards, so if he’s out there watering the fence every day then OP won’t be able to do this.
RE rain, well, it doesn’t rain all the time so normally a fence would be able to dry out. He’s keeping part of it permanently damp by the sound of it which will speed up rotting.

Problem is you can’t treat/paint a damp fence, and it has to be able to dry afterwards, so if he’s out there watering the fence every day then OP won’t be able to do this.

Oh seriously, the guy isn't going to "water the fence" the whole year round, day in, day out. He's watering his sunflowers. They only grow & flower for a finite time.

When OP (or himself, given he paid for half the fence) decides it needs treating, presumably they will speak to one another and say "oh, I'm going to treat the fence on x day" and off they will jolly well go. If they don't fall out because OP's having a go at him for poor aim while he's watering his own garden.

Again, it's not shifting the goalposts, it's more a refusal to be narrow minded by not seeing what other issues the original complain might bring along.

It's actually none of OP's business if her neighbour chooses to waste water. Let her make sure she's perfect in her environmental credentials before she goes sticking her nose in other's people's behaviours.

t's actually none of OP's business if her neighbour chooses to waste water. Let her make sure she's perfect in her environmental credentials before she goes sticking her nose in other's people's behaviours.

How do you know she isn’t? Again, another very narrow minded statement.,

How do you know she isn’t? Again, another very narrow minded statement.,

Because no-one is.

And even if she were, it wouldn't put her in charge of what her neighbour does or doesn't do with his own garden and a fence he paid for half of.