To wonder why the police always put the age of people in missing posts

[Canwe666]

Sometimes even full date of birth. I can understand under 18 but once people are adults age doesn’t have as much bearing. Also putting peoples full name.

I mean you either wanted your daughter found or you wanted to protect her privacy ... you really can't do both 🙄🙄

This thread is so weird to begin with and the weird detours into pedantry just make it more peculiar.

Since I’m here though:

1. OP, YABU.

1. Pedants, both constructions are fine: that needs doing and that needs [to be] done both work perfectly well in standard conversational English.

You surely didn’t want the fact your child was missing kept a secret? I would’ve thought the more information out there could only be helpful?

If the police found my daughter my response would have been gratitude and thanks, not bitching about them giving out details like age. If your daughter doesn't want people contacting her on social media it's up to her to fix the privacy settings.

@LemonJuiceFromConcentrate

This thread is so weird to begin with and the weird detours into pedantry just make it more peculiar.

Since I’m here though:

1. OP, YABU.

1. Pedants, both constructions are fine: that needs doing and that needs [to be] done both work perfectly well in standard conversational English.

The "to be" shouldn't be in brackets - it's not optional. You can't say "that needs done", that is incorrect. I agree with you on the general theme of not being pedantic or attacking people's grammar - I wouldn't call out someone's initial grammar error. However, I equally disagree with people repeatedly insisting their incorrect grammar is correct. Both sides are just as bad.

They put the exact date of birth because it is easy to lie about your age, but very very hard to lie about your date of birth.

That's how you catch out someone who's "missed" a few years off their age - ask them their date of birth.

WFH is getting to people. Open back the work place!

If, for example, I were to go missing, there wouldn't be a recent photo available, so putting my age would be relevant and helpful. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has no recent photos.

@CustardySergeant

If, for example, I were to go missing, there wouldn't be a recent photo available, so putting my age would be relevant and helpful. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has no recent photos.

Sorry, in my post above I was responding to OP's post saying:- "They usually include pictures though so mostly you would estimate from that."

The more info people have, the more likely the missing person may be found.

You can't say "that needs done", that is incorrect.

You can and it isn’t.

It’s a regionalism, ProbablyProbing. Lots and lots of English speakers certainly do say “that needs done” and are understood by all those around them, so it’s untrue to assert that it doesn’t make any sense at all (as you or someone else did earlier). It’s called the “needs washed” construction and is well established. I hear it all the time where I live.

You’re not remotely alone in disapproving of it but I do think a forum is an odd place to start casting aspersions on grammar and using line-in-the-sand terms like “incorrect” and “not optional”. Most people post on here in a conversational register; their usage reflects the sheer size and reach of MN.

The police are not in the wrong for sharing her age, name, etc., it's the weirdos contacting her who are wrong. Police priority is to fine her; is she's now being harassed, she should contact the police herself.

I'm glad OP's DD was found safe.

I don't watch TV. Missing person alert with just photo & no description wouldn't work for me.

Missing person alert with only first name: There were 5 boys called Jack in DS's yr at primary. I wouldn't know which one.

My step sist has an unusual name -- I couldn't find her on Facebook. Her privacy settings were so high that she had to Friend Request me or we would never connect. Sounds like good setting for OP's DD.

It’s a very uncommon surname. Yes I’m grateful for the police but I wish they hadn’t added so much details

As far as I’m aware a) they only publish social media when there is thought to be a real risk to the person or others

And b) you need permission off next of kin to post.

Did you give permission for the police to post her details on social media?

Outside my paid job, I do volunteer work in the community and this includes vulnerable people, Police work with multi agencies and having a date of birth and surname can verify someone’s identity if they are unable to themselves when found for a variety of reasons.

We don’t have access to Police databases so we can check details against social media posts and when they are found the posts are usually removed quite quickly.

OP I really hope you and your daughter are getting the help you both need.

I do understand where you’re coming from. I have seen some missing person notices where they include full name, date of birth, address and then include that they are vulnerable or have mental health issues etc. I can understand the need to give the public enough information to identify the person but I also think it must be very difficult for the missing person when they are found and have had so much information spread around Facebook and if they are vulnerable could also leave them even more so to people looking to take advantage of them. I know I would feel very embarrassed and exposed afterwards if my face had been plastered over social media with all my details and essentially broadcasting my mental health difficulties.

That said I guess the police know what they’re doing with these things and how much information they require to put out to have the best chance of finding the person safe and well and when there are genuine and immediate concerns for their welfare I can see why the priority would be finding them rather than preserving their personal details, if somebody is a suicide risk for example then holding onto their personal details to preserve their dignity is pointless if they’re found dead.

I also imagine having all information such as surname and DOB in addition to a photograph is potentially helpful as some missing people might still be using things such as bank cards/ driving licenses etc which contain this info; it’s easy enough to shave/ dye etc your hair so you look different to the photos they’ve put out but much harder to get a whole new set of bank cards and other ID with fake names/ DOBs etc so I guess that could be why these details will help in identifying the person.

Hard to see a pic on the radio though.

@LemonJuiceFromConcentrate

It’s a regionalism, ProbablyProbing. Lots and lots of English speakers certainly do say “that needs done” and are understood by all those around them, so it’s untrue to assert that it doesn’t make any sense at all (as you or someone else did earlier). It’s called the “needs washed” construction and is well established. I hear it all the time where I live.

You’re not remotely alone in disapproving of it but I do think a forum is an odd place to start casting aspersions on grammar and using line-in-the-sand terms like “incorrect” and “not optional”. Most people post on here in a conversational register; their usage reflects the sheer size and reach of MN.

I'm sorry, you're absolutely correct. People are absolutely able to use English however they choose - I was simply applying the actual rules of grammar rather than an exceptionally narrowly used colloquialism from one very small group of people. If I said "can't nobody tink de way he do" and tried to argue it's correct English then I'm certain you'd disagree - and AAVE has a much higher uptake than the demographic using the needs washed construction. To be clear, I've already agreed with you about calling out people's initial grammatical/spelling errors - and I wouldn't do that. I just equally think insisting that someone is correct when they aren't (whether that be on a spelling or on a statistic or on any other element of a post) is just as bad.

TBH OP, you gave them the details, you gave them the photo, you knew they were going to publish them - you only have yourself to blame. If you don't want creeps and weirdos messaging your daughter then sort out her privacy settings so they're appropriate.

The public knowing personal details about the person such as appearance, race, age, physique are quite pertinent things when you’re trying to locate a missing person. Of course age is relevant. How is telling people someone’s age any more “invasive” than showing people a photo of them and saying they’re missing?

I do not look the same as I did as a 17 year old. I do not use my proper first name very often.

There's a good reason that the police put the details out there. They want them to be found alive and well before they end up being found dead.

If you don't want to be found online, don't go online or if you do, set your privacy settings as high as they will go or use a pseudonym.

Don't go missing, expect the police to do their job and then bitch about it inconveniencing you online.

I find the age helpful especially with younger missing people.
A young woman near me went missing and the photos shared from her social media account she was looking very glamorous, made up and pouting, lots of teens look like that too, hard to tell if they are 14 or 20.

Then police released a cctv image and I wouldn't have recognised her, no makeup, lank hair, dark tracksuit, and in that she actually looked so much younger.

Sorry your daughter has gone missing, I know the same people can go missing repeatedly so hope she is getting help required. I would be grateful she had been found and make sure she knew how to protect herself online.