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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why the police always put the age of people in missing posts

107 replies

Canwe666 · 11/06/2021 12:39

Sometimes even full date of birth. I can understand under 18 but once people are adults age doesn’t have as much bearing. Also putting peoples full name.

OP posts:
BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 11/06/2021 13:02

@Canwe666

Yes the police have done it when my daughter is missing. She was very upset when personal details had been given in public. Especially her surname as it’s common and she actually had messages from strangers after her name had been made public.
Surely you are more concerned about the fact that the police did everything to try to find her?

And surely having a common surname makes this less of an issue for your daughter, not more?

Age is not sensitive personal information. If someone looks at you, they can usually tell your age.

ChessieFL · 11/06/2021 13:02

Photos aren’t always clear enough to be able to accurately work out someone’s age. I’ve seen photos of myself where I look about 90!

Original poster
Canwe666 · 11/06/2021 13:02

I don’t really see why people would feel the need to message a vulnerable person on social media

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 11/06/2021 13:03

Strangers message people all the time on social media. If it's a stranger you just ignore it

Original poster
Canwe666 · 11/06/2021 13:04

It’s a very uncommon surname. Yes I’m grateful for the police but I wish they hadn’t added so much details.

OP posts:
UhtredRagnarson · 11/06/2021 13:04

OP you’re clearly going through a difficult situation. I don’t think this thread will help you or give you the answers that you want to hear.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 11/06/2021 13:05

@Canwe666

She’s even had a message from a man saying how attractive she is. I think her first name was fine and her picture but don’t see what benefit her last name is.
I would advise your daughter to set her social media settings so that strangers can't message her.

This man is clearly a predator - he knows your DD is vulnerable and is targeting her. That's not the police's fault - she needed to be found when she was missing so they acted appropriately.

In fact, I'd report the harassment to the police if it continues.

ChessieFL · 11/06/2021 13:06

Sorry OP, I hadn’t seen your update that you were personally affected by this Flowers

moynomore · 11/06/2021 13:07

I don’t really see why people would feel the need to message a vulnerable person on social media

Absolutely horrible. But this is an unfortunate side effect of your daughter having gone missing. I don't think the police did anything wrong.

She should really adjust her settings ASAP. Of come off social media if she is vulnerable.

Sorry you are going though this OP.

randomkey123 · 11/06/2021 13:08

The Police don't do this for fun, OP.

It's a the one rare benefit of social media that the posts get quickly and widely shared and are often a very successful way of locating people.

drawerofwater · 11/06/2021 13:09

Surely it was more important to find your missing daughter…

HoldingTheDoor · 11/06/2021 13:09

What an odd post

The OP is known for very odd posts, under many different names. It's concerning because they're clearly unwell and not receiving or accessing the support that they need.

Checkingout811 · 11/06/2021 13:11

Maybe it’ll teach her not to run off then and cause a police search!

Whyhello · 11/06/2021 13:11

It’s just to give a general idea of how old they are. They do usually include photos but it isn’t always a recent photo because it’s common for adults not to have photos taken of them very often.

DulseSeaweed · 11/06/2021 13:13

Perhaps because some people go missing on purpose and might reappear somewhere else using a different name and same birth date? Or a slightly different surname, or different first name and same surname? Then if identified the police can make contact and if they don't want to be found by family close the case?

knittingaddict · 11/06/2021 13:23

@HoldingTheDoor

What an odd post

The OP is known for very odd posts, under many different names. It's concerning because they're clearly unwell and not receiving or accessing the support that they need.

I'm not surprised. This thread did remind me of others I've read about mental health situations, with a very similar style.

My mil would have definitely needed a detailed description because there were no up to date photos and medication changed her appearance a lot. Fortunately it never got to the point of reporting her as a missing person and the police found her first.

UhtredRagnarson · 11/06/2021 13:24

@Checkingout811

Maybe it’ll teach her not to run off then and cause a police search!
You have no idea what caused OPs daughter to be reported missing!!
moynomore · 11/06/2021 13:27

@Checkingout811

Maybe it’ll teach her not to run off then and cause a police search!
How do you know she ran off? Not a nice post considering you have zero knowledge of the circumstances.
Checkingout811 · 11/06/2021 13:31

I’m being a dick on purpose. The OP is ridiculous. Fancy complaining the police put our social media alerts to find her daughter when she was missing!
She’d of also complained if they’d done nothing!
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!

10storeylovesong · 11/06/2021 13:36

I'm a police officer. Just in my one police station we currently have 15 missing people. Sometimes it's up to 30, very rarely below 10. Every single day. Very few of them get put on social media, and by the time they do there is a very real concern for their safety and we need as many people as possible keeping eyes out for them. We out their age as they might introduce themselves to people by different name or nickname, but people rarely change their age when asked. Also, not everyone has recent or appropriate photos, or may look older / younger than they are in the photo. It's just part of the description. I've done 100s of safe and well checks over the years with missing persons, and I've never been questioned about their age being published. Most people are unhappy with the photos!

If your daughter is receiving messages from unwanted sources, she needs to improve her security settings and if it continues contact the police Re harassment. I hope she is safe and getting whatever help she needs.

SmokeyDevil · 11/06/2021 13:38

@Checkingout811

I’m being a dick on purpose. The OP is ridiculous. Fancy complaining the police put our social media alerts to find her daughter when she was missing! She’d of also complained if they’d done nothing! Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!
This.

What would you have preferred op? No picture of your daughter, no details etc just 'there's a missing girl in the south of England, please help us find her'? Hmm

Change social media settings. Not difficult.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 11/06/2021 13:41

are you on glue?

InnaBun · 11/06/2021 13:42

@Canwe666

She’s even had a message from a man saying how attractive she is. I think her first name was fine and her picture but don’t see what benefit her last name is.
The police had to find her, that was her priority. It's not their fault there are weird people out there.
UhtredRagnarson · 11/06/2021 13:43

I’m being a dick on purpose.

That didn’t need explained. We knew.

She’d of also complained if they’d done nothing!

Have.

Icantrememberthenameoftheartis · 11/06/2021 13:45

What???

Of course stating the full name is relevant! They are missing and someone may have encountered someone using that name, or bank cards with that name, and it may or may not be the person in the missing poster! If they match the photo the police have a sighting and if it doesn’t then potentially it could mean a stolen identity by whatever means.

Of course date of birth is relevant, people can look younger/older than their age and their age can have a bearing on their vulnerability.