Dad sharing my pregnancy news

[BatikBat]

I called my mum to tell her I was pregnant and my dad picked up the phone (very unusual). Anyway against my better judgement I felt bad about not telling him the news so I said I was pregnant right at the end of our chat then asked him to pass the phone to mum. He duly walked up to the study where she was working (so no way had she heard the conversation). Then as he handed the phone to her said "guess what? Bat's pregnant!" AIBU to be annoyed by this? I wanted to tell her myself!

I've got so many AIBUs about him, he just irritates the life out of me! Like the time he and mum came to "help" when my firstborn was a week old and I took the opportunity to do some hoovering while DD napped, he didn't even look at me or move his feet as I tried to hoover around him! And then I felt bad because maybe I should have waited until he had gone somewhere else?! Wtf!

Did you tell him not to tell her ?

Both of those examples don't seem particularly awful to be fair. Presumably you could ask him not to say, or to move his feet....

@DinosaurDiana

Did you tell him not to tell her ?

Surely it’s common sense not to tell someone’s pregnancy news. Particularly when OP was about to talk to her mum.

How ridiculous.

YANBU, I would be annoyed.

I didn't tell him not to tell her, I thought it would be obvious that I'd want to tell her myself!

He was probably just excited

Maybe he was excited. But so was I.

You're hard work aren't you? YABU

Yanbu. I'm so sorry this happened. My mum did this and told my dad (they are separated). I would have been really upset but I had the foresight to tell my dad first. Even though my mum didn't technically break our news, she thinks she did and has used that (and other things) as a form of control. She is very "smug".

I would consider telling either one of my parents to be telling them as a unit and it wouldn't occur to me to tell them both separately. I wouldn't expect either one of them to think that either.

I probably wouldn't have minded so much if I had a good relationship with my dad but I don't.

I told my mum and she got so excited on the phone my dad worked it out. I would see my parents as one person when it comes to sharing good news to be honest.

I can’t see what he’s done wrong either but I wasn’t precious about telling people as don’t see it as a big deal.

@BatikBat

I probably wouldn't have minded so much if I had a good relationship with my dad but I don't.

Then you shouldn't have told him

It would annoy me too. Why did he think you’d bothered asking to speak to your mum if you were happy for him to just go tell her?

Would you have felt the same if your dm had told your DF? Seems a little petty to me. If you had wanted your dm to know first hand, you shouldn’t have told your DF.

@Soontobe60

Would you have felt the same if your dm had told your DF? Seems a little petty to me. If you had wanted your dm to know first hand, you shouldn’t have told your DF.

No. I rarely speak to my dad, I assume my mum passes on any news etc that I tell her in phone calls. If I'd told her something important on a call and then asked to speak to my dad I assume she'd realise I wanted to tell him myself.

YABU. He was excited and I'm sure your mum was delighted to hear it. I can already feel the massive drip feed coming, but right now you haven't really given any good reason you're so sour towards him. Maybe you don't get on because you don't fit right, not because he's a dick. So give him a bit of the benefit of the doubt.

Of course someone is going to say 'you're hard work aren't you' wind your neck in.

YANBU and it was your news to share. It's not fair when other people take it upon themselves.

Yabu. I would tell one parent and expect them to pass it on to the other

You hardly speak to your dad but you still told him your news? Why not just say - ‘Hi dad, can I speak to mum please?’

You’re being really really precious here.

I probably wouldn't have minded so much if I had a good relationship with my dad but Idon't

Here's the real issue.

@BatikBat

I probably wouldn't have minded so much if I had a good relationship with my dad but I don't.

I totally get it. It’s a build up of these seemingly small transgressions that just add up to a whole world of irritation. YANBU

Is there a drip feed then or more to come?

It just doesn’t sound that bad. I’d be annoyed- at myself! If that was what my dad was like I wouldn’t have told him first. As for the hoovering....hardly a traumatic event

Yeah I couldn't get wound up over it. Reminds me of when my sister was pregnant first time(first grandchild) My poor father was so excited,beside himself.

She told him not to tell anyone but he got so excited and told his brother. Well..she threatened to have her husband smack him and all sorts. He was devastated and so upset. Why do that.

@Notimeforaname

Yeah I couldn't get wound up over it. Reminds me of when my sister was pregnant first time(first grandchild) My poor father was so excited,beside himself. She told him not to tell anyone but he got so excited and told his brother. Well..she threatened to have her husband smack him and all sorts. He was devastated and so upset. Why do that.

Err not sure why my post reminds you of that? I didn't threaten to have anyone beaten up, it wouldn't even cross my mind. That's not normal behaviour at all.