Dad sharing my pregnancy news

[BatikBat]

I called my mum to tell her I was pregnant and my dad picked up the phone (very unusual). Anyway against my better judgement I felt bad about not telling him the news so I said I was pregnant right at the end of our chat then asked him to pass the phone to mum. He duly walked up to the study where she was working (so no way had she heard the conversation). Then as he handed the phone to her said "guess what? Bat's pregnant!" AIBU to be annoyed by this? I wanted to tell her myself!

I've got so many AIBUs about him, he just irritates the life out of me! Like the time he and mum came to "help" when my firstborn was a week old and I took the opportunity to do some hoovering while DD napped, he didn't even look at me or move his feet as I tried to hoover around him! And then I felt bad because maybe I should have waited until he had gone somewhere else?! Wtf!

Sorry OP but you sound like hard work.

Fgs he was telling his wife some lovely news. Rule is, if you don’t want the beans spilt don’t open the can.

@SprayedWithDettol

Fgs he was telling his wife some lovely news. Rule is, if you don’t want the beans spilt don’t open the can.

I wouldn't have expected him to keep it a secret if I'd hung up but I was literally about to talk to my mum! I thought it would be nice of me to share it with him as I was speaking to him first even though we rarely chat. I didn't want him to feel that I was leaving him out or anything. I shall listen to what everyone on this thread thinks though and obviously my opinion on this is in the minority. Next time I have something I want to tell my mum in person I will say nothing to my dad first.

It wasn't even like he could have an immediate nice conversation with "his wife" about it as she was going to talk to me!

You’d assume this.
You’d assume that.

You assume too much.

I’d love to read a post by your dad from his perspective. You sound really precious. If he just “irritates the life out of you” then it’s probably a mutual feeling.

You shouldn’t have told him first or maybe should have asked him not to mention it to your Mum because you wanted to tell her. I don’t think he did anything wrong and I don’t think this is a big issue either.

Just ask to speak to mum first if there is a next time

If it was that important to you you should have spoken to your mum first. Maybe he was excited or maybe feels that the relationship is a bit better if you gave him the news direct rather than expected him to hear second hand.

I don’t get why you told him if you don’t have a good relationship with him. YABU.

My best mate’s dad told my dad my pregnancy news after I told her not to tell anyone. My friends boss accidentally told her parents her pregnancy news. Did either of us get upset about it? No because we’re grown adults and it all came from a place of being happy and excited, not malicious. Honestly there’s something about the social media generation that makes every single moment into a big reveal or drama or announcement. You’re pregnant and you phoned to tell your parents and that’s exactly what happened, who tells who at what precise moment is such a non issue it’s staggering you’d get annoyed about it.

Jeezo. How do you cope when you’ve got an actual problem?

I get where you’re coming from however, I’m a bit divided. Is it possible that your dad just didn’t realise that it was important to you that you were the one who wanted to tell your mum the news first? Have you explained to him how you feel in a way that is not accusing or confrontational?

Is it possible that your dad isnt a mind reader and is a bit emotionally illiterate? Does he constantly irritate you because he isn't mystically in tune with your feelings?

Try communicating what you want from him in clear, unambiguous language, really spell it out. It wont necessarily solve the whole problem with your relationship but it might help

I couldn't get worked up over this at all. You told him and 2 seconds later he told your mum? That's it?

He sounds like a monster!

Sounds like a drip drip of spiteful behaviour from your dad. But he does it so that you start doubting yourself.

I’d not tell him anything on future. And ask him not to come to ‘help’ when you have this baby as he sounds like he doesn’t really help at all.

Post in relationships next time OP. Sometimes AIBU seems to be filled with posters purposely wanting to rip OP’s to pieces for no reason.

@BatikBat If it was that important, why didn't you tell your Mum first?

@Notimeforaname

Yeah I couldn't get wound up over it. Reminds me of when my sister was pregnant first time(first grandchild) My poor father was so excited,beside himself. She told him not to tell anyone but he got so excited and told his brother. Well..she threatened to have her husband smack him and all sorts. He was devastated and so upset. Why do that.

My Dad told his brother so my sister threaten physical violence doesn't really compare with my Dad told my Mom just as I was about to and I'm moaning on MN