DH’s account billed, who should pay?

[SettleMeThis]

Settle an argument for me please!

In April, I signed up for a 30 day free trial of Apple Music on my husband’s iPad which has his card details saved to it. I told him I’d done it and that I would cancel it before he was billed. I forgot to cancel it and the money came out of his account in May. I reimbursed him immediately and told him to cancel what was now a recurring monthly subscription, he said he would.

Fast forward to this month. The subscription fee has debited his account again because he didn’t cancel it. He’s asked me to send him the money again, however I said no on the basis that he said he was going to cancel it so in my eyes, my work is done. He says he would never have been charged if I hadn’t set up the free trial in the first place so I should pay. I see it from both sides, but would rather not pay up for something which I don’t feel is my fault any longer.

Who is BU?

Do you not have joint money? What is this arguing over 9.99!!! Come on.

Sorry just saw it’s £15...but still.

You set it up, you should have cancelled it. Either you should pay or you should halve it but make sure it’s cancelled now

@Aprilx

Why is it surely coming out if the same pot? Married people are allowed to have separate finances

In most cases finances are certainly combined within a marriage.

It is beyond ridiculous for a married couple to be quibbling over who needs to pay £10.

On the basis of the almost daily threads about how couples share finances it's not true that there's any certainty about it's done

Different couples have all kinds of arrangements, there's no right or wrong if both parties are happy with their set up

I'm a single parent with no dog in this fight but I'm aware enough to recognise that not everyone is the same

You should pay!
You should have made sure you reminded him to cancel.

To be fair, in the time you’ve spent on here posting about this you could have cancelled the subscription. I’m afraid you should pay it as you set it up.

You created the account - you should have cancelled it. And your DH should stop saving his credit card into on the iPad.

If you’re genuinely squabbling over a tenner and you’re married then you’ve got far bigger issues that who owes who what.
Jeez, it’s all the same money. I just don’t understand marriages like this.

It's his fault. he said he would cancel it, & didn't, if he had told you to do it, you would have.

I'd be annoyed if my dh made work for me, especially messing about cancelling subscriptions. I think you need to pay, and you need to cancel the subscription.

I think split it with you paying more!

30/70?

I am glad I have never been in this tight of a relationship!

YABU. I would be really pissed of if DH gave me extra task to do that wasn't my responsibility originally, was nothing to do with me, and didn't benefit me in any way, and then had the cheek to try and blame me when I didn't do it!

You need to pay. And cancel it with apple.

You took out the subscription so you cant just assign him a chore to sort our something you committed to.

This is taking me right back to student phone bills

If it’s a significant about of money then yAbu not to have made sure it was cancelled immediately. It’s both your faults, but ultimately it was your order and you have created admin for him. So pay up, and lean over his shoulder to make sure he cancels this time.

So I read DH this thread and we’ve had a smug chuckle at the expense of some of these responses!

To clarify for those who didn’t get it, the issue is not how we pool our money together (or that we don’t). We didn’t share our finances or bank accounts before we married and we didn’t marry so that our finances would be shared. We married to sanctify the love we share for one another…that doesn’t give me a free pass to spend his hard earned money nor he mine. We share an account which covers our living expenses, bills, joint savings etc. If you disagree or do it differently, that’s completely fine and normal! It doesn’t mean our relationship has issues or that we need to assess how stable we are. Though props to the masses for not leaving a “LTB” for me .

The issue was who should pay/should have cancelled the subscription. I’ve sent DH the funds, we’ve sat down together over a glass of red and cancelled the subscription. Thanks to all who sent constructive responses. And best of luck to those who began criticising a stranger’s marriage on the internet, I wonder what’s going in your own marriages to prompt such contempt for someone else’s bank account!

Goodnight all

@SettleMeThis

So I read DH this thread and we’ve had a smug chuckle at the expense of some of these responses!

To clarify for those who didn’t get it, the issue is not how we pool our money together (or that we don’t). We didn’t share our finances or bank accounts before we married and we didn’t marry so that our finances would be shared. We married to sanctify the love we share for one another…that doesn’t give me a free pass to spend his hard earned money nor he mine. We share an account which covers our living expenses, bills, joint savings etc. If you disagree or do it differently, that’s completely fine and normal! It doesn’t mean our relationship has issues or that we need to assess how stable we are. Though props to the masses for not leaving a “LTB” for me .

The issue was who should pay/should have cancelled the subscription. I’ve sent DH the funds, we’ve sat down together over a glass of red and cancelled the subscription. Thanks to all who sent constructive responses. And best of luck to those who began criticising a stranger’s marriage on the internet, I wonder what’s going in your own marriages to prompt such contempt for someone else’s bank account!

Goodnight all

You asked for advice online, got it, now you are smugly saying you are ignoring it. Not a very nice attitude.

Imagine needing wine to pluck up the courage to cancel a subscription

This is so odd.

All of it.

But particularly "sitting down together over a glass of red" to cancel a music subscription. Like it's date night.

@lanthanum

Halve this one and tell him that any future occurences are entirely his responsibility.

This but it was your job to cancel since you're the one who set it up.

Tsk missed the rest of the thread. Loving the wine o'clock to cancel a subscription though

You asked for advice online, got it, now you are smugly saying you are ignoring it.
Not a very nice attitude

Have you read all of the posts? I asked for advice on who should pay, not for advice on my marriage. That bit is what we are smugly ignoring

If you’d read it all properly, you’d see I initially didn’t think I should pay. I had lots of advice saying I should, so now I have. So actually, my intentions to resolve the problem via this thread were perfectly executed!

Didn’t you hear? Every night is date night when you don’t share you finances

Fwiw me and husband don't share finances either. Just silly doing it that way imo.

@HunterHearstHelmsley

This is so odd.

All of it.

But particularly "sitting down together over a glass of red" to cancel a music subscription. Like it's date night.

Extremely odd!! I’m just picturing the scene now. Perhaps OP put in something a little less comfortable before they clicked “cancel subscription”