To ask what time I should put my kids to bed.

[BedTimeDilema]

Just that really.
We have DC aged 15,12,12,10,7
All have to be awake at 6.30 for the school day.
What is a reasonable time for them to go to bed?

My kids...
7yr old goes between 7 and 7.30 (if she's late she sleeps badly and sometimes wets the bed.)

12yr old goes between 8.30 and 9.30. I don't tell her she just decides, she's usually in her room from 8.30. I've never had to tell her to go to bed!

14 year old we all rip the piss out off as she is in bed asleep by 8.30pm without fail. If she has stuff to do and it's getting close to 8.30 she gets stressy lol! She only stays up late on holiday....til 9pm ha ha

I have 13, 8, 6 and 4

4 yo-7pm
6 yo-7.30pm
8 yo-8pm
13 yo-9.30pm

9 nearly 10 year old.. 8pm lights out
Just turned 11, lights out by 8.30 but usually asleep first.

They have to be up for 7.30. We aren't stuck to this tho, they will have the odd night when playing out with neighbours that they come in at 8 30, quick wash, pjs and have an hours chill time.

Surely it depends on them as individuals and how much sleep they need?

We need 8 hours sleep per night to be at our best. Suggest the book why we need sleep, fascinating.

DD went to bed around 8pm when she was between 7-12, purely because she needs lots of sleep and functions better if she gets 10 hours.

She is now 14 and light out is around 9pm unless she has Scouts and man, do we see the difference.

At weekends or holidays I don't mind that much but I want light out by 10 ish.

My 7 year old is in bed by 645pm, asleep by 7. Weekends she’s up until 730 reading or listening to an audio book. Wakes up at 7am. Weekends she wakes up whatever time - usually by 10am

My 9 year old also has to be up at 630. Bed time is 730pm, lights out around 8 else she's hard to wake up the following day. But she has always needed a lot of sleep, napped until she was 4! Her best friend goes to bed around 9.
11 year old 745, lights out around 815-830, wakes around 6. Needs less sleep, always has.

My 15yo is in bed at 9.30 lights off at 10,

All through primary school dds bedtime was between 7-8pm.

Once she got to secondary it was 8-9pm.

Kids need lots of sleep and even if they're not asleep in bed it's still wind down time.

15yo - 9pm
12yo - 8pm
10yo - 7:30pm
7yo - 7pm

My 12 year old goes at 10pm and 8 year old at 9pm.

My 10 year old goes to bed between 9 and 9:30
15 year old at 10
They share a room so this seems to work best for us.

Mine are horrendous without a decent nights sleep. Dc are nearly 10 & 7 yrs old and are both in bed by 8 at the latest. We gave up on staggered bedtimes, wasn’t worth the arguments given they’re relatively close in age.

Goodness, OP.

You know them best.

I have lost the proverbial plot with mine. But I'd say 7 yr old should be in bed by 7.30, from what I remember. 10 yr old 8ish. 12 yr olds 8.30-9. 15 yr olds 9-10?

My DC's bedtimes were based on sensible routines, but could be tweaked depending on their personalities/needs.

My main 'rule' was that a) XH and I needed some time in the evening without children physically present (if they wanted to read for two hours in their rooms, that was fine); and b) they had to be fit to get up for school at 6.30AM. If they couldn't get up, they needed to be reminded to stop reading and switch their lights off. If they bounced out of bed and were perky and ready to go in the mornings, they could read as long as they liked in the evenings. The main thing was for them to be in their bedrooms.

I wonder if those who have 11pm bed times for their 15!yr olds go to bed late themselves, I think 11 is too late for me on a school night!!

6 to 13 year olds need 9 to 11 hours, 14 to 17 year olds need 8 to 10 hours. So work backwards and add half an hour for reading time. You should know how much sleep your individual children need within those ranges so I don't think anyone can give you an exact time.

@WeWantAMackerelNotASprat

I wonder if those who have 11pm bed times for their 15!yr olds go to bed late themselves, I think 11 is too late for me on a school night!!

15 year old goes to sleep later than me but I'm up earlier.

Different children the same age need different amount of sleep that's why for say a 10 year old it will vary between 8.5 and 10.5 hours so some kids need more than others however none can get by on 6-7 hours. My DD is almost 12 she is out to 9.30 3 nights a week with activities I expect lights out at 10 generally she is up by 7am she often doesn't sleep till 11pm she sleeps in at weekends

My 10 year old goes at 8pm for lights out whenever she’s tired… normally 8:30 - 9:00

@Cocopogo

Wow so late?

My 12 yo goes to bed at 8pm, my 16 yo at 9:30

Does your 16 year old chose to go to bed at 0930? .... my 3 are all grown up now.... but none of them went to bed at 0930 at 16....ever

I'd say 10pm - 15 year old, 9.30 - 12 year old, 9 pm - 10 year old and 8pm - 7 year old

I'm very surprised that people still have fixed bedtimes for 15yos - surely they need to learn to self regulate before they hit adulthood?

No ‘lights out’ for 15 year old, but definitely a time to be up in their room and VERY definitely a time for phones to be on charge out of bedrooms.

@paralysedbyinertia my 15 yr old still asks me to turn her light off and kiss her goodnight! I always say that she can read for longer etc but she likes me to kiss and 'put her to bed'

This is usually around 10 unless she asks for a different time. I get into bed around 1015 so if she wants to read later she has to do it herself!

I now need to turn my light off 🤣😴

[quote WeWantAMackerelNotASprat]@paralysedbyinertia my 15 yr old still asks me to turn her light off and kiss her goodnight! I always say that she can read for longer etc but she likes me to kiss and 'put her to bed'

This is usually around 10 unless she asks for a different time. I get into bed around 1015 so if she wants to read later she has to do it herself!

I now need to turn my light off 🤣😴[/quote]
Yeah, mine always wants a kiss and a cuddle to say goodnight too, but sometimes I'll go to bed before she's ready so it isn't like I'm putting her to bed...It's just saying goodnight.