What's the funniest experience of mansplaining you have experienced

[bjjgirl]

Please to help me keep my sanity and give me some light relief can you tell me the best examples of mansplaining you have experienced?

I have had a long day of this at work and it's just exhausting

@MonkeyPuddle

DP recently went for his covid jab, he was telling all about it ‘they give it in the deltoid muscle, did you know that?’

I’m a bloody covid vaccinator and have given thousands of immunisations over the years.

Seriously? Does he not understand your job?

Ex decided I would benefit from his wise advice on how to breastfeed our child. To be fair, he does have bigger boobs than me ,but it was my second child and I'd breastfed my first for 2 years.

Not exactly mansplaining, but a rather superior date, on hearing that I had just finished a degree in English, laid down his fork and said “Ah. So what novel of Jane Austen’s begins with the line: ‘it is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a fortune must be in want of a wife’?”

l suppose I must have looked blank, because I was a bit startled by the suddenness and crapness of this pop quiz. He smirked.

‘Emma,” he said triumphantly.

Oh, okay then.

I remember telling boyfriend at the time about the book I'd just finished reading. "Oh yes", he said, "it's set in South America". No, it's set in Italy. I know this because I've literally just finished reading it. "No, it's definitely South America because I remember a friend talking about it". I asked him if he'd read it. He hadn't. That relationship didn't last long...

@Myxisaprat

My ex mansplained my phd to me.

Note. We were 15 years split at the time, and he had zero knowledge of the area my phd was in.

Oh, I've had this too. And a former employer who would spell my name to me in dictations.

@corlan

"To be fair, he does have bigger boobs than me"

OMG.

That is class!

OMG, reading these is giving me the rage! 😡

I have loads of these sadly but my favourites are:

I'm in the gym doing bodyweight stuff on the floor with a medicine ball. Overweight guy (I'm not judging, it's relevant) tells me that the way I'm using the ball is not the best way to lose belly fat. I looked pointedly at his stomach and said that I'm not trying to lose belly fat. He blustered for a bit about "well that's what most women come to the gym for". I asked him to focus on his own workout and leave me alone and he tutted at me 😂

I work in a field that's often in the news, so people tend to think they know more about the issue because they've read a couple of articles. I was in a group of all men who were discussing the issue. I tend to not get involved much because it's like a busman's holiday, but one of them gave wrong information so I corrected it. He gave me a very patronising look and said "I think I understand it well enough. Do you understand the key difference between [very basic concept 1] and [very basic concept 2]?" My husband actually started laughing at this point because he knew what was coming. I explained that I'm actually a [job title] and so yes, I do know this very basic thing. He had the grace to look embarrassed and sulkily said "well how was I supposed to know that?"

You weren't, mate, but you could have just treated me with the same respect as all the men at the table who gave their 2p worth and you didn't shout them down.

@AmandaHoldensLips

Male doctor explaining to me how I shouldn't be in pain 24 hrs after c-section because c-sections are not particularly painful.

I mean, what the FUCK? I can only begin to imagine the depths of his arseholeness and wankery.

I hope you punched him in the dick and said 'oh but penile injuries are really not that painful' Worth it!!!!

This thread is making me feel stabby.

Had a BF explain very carefully to me, years ago, that a woman can't get pregnant unless she has an orgasm, because that's when the "eggs let down." I carefully explained to HIM that he was thinking of cats, who do not, in fact, get pregnant unless the cervix is scraped by the male's spiky penis, but that no orgasm for the female cat happens, it HURTS. He was astounded, having deliberately avoided orgasm in his partners during penetration as birth control. Idiot.

@mam0918

I love my baby brother and he does try to be helpful but sometime his isisting hes right without listening to what others are saying does my head in.

He sells electrical gadgets and Im not into modern fancy gadgets. Im looking to buy a hifi system with record player and mentioned it to our mam because I have 20 years worth of vinyl I have collected and he offered to look around and see if he could get one for me.

Except now he keeps constantly showing me modern wireless wifi streaming speaker phone docking system things and explaining how these are 'much better' than an old record player and how Im 'wrong' for wanting what I want because its outdated tech and useless but its not useless to play my records that I lovingly collected lol.

I swear if I was looking to buy a cat I would get a leacture on how dogs are better etc... because he does this with everything and it gets annoying because he always knows best apparently, he talks down to me about it too dispite the fact hes a teen and I'm in my mid 30s with double his life experiance.

If anyone dares say anything but agreement then he throws a huff and starts yelling and even if you smile and agree he beats you over the head with it by trying to re-explain it 100 more times. I only hope he will grow out of it with age and its just a 'know it all teen' thing.

Funny that he doesnt know vinyl sales are on the rise the most sales in years-i love record players

Had a gas man come to do the service for the boiler i book everything and sort out all stuff like that he completely ignored me when he walked in and only spoke to dh who said better tell whynot because i dont deal with it-he looked sheepish

I had one today in a meeting, male colleague said 'what jayho meant to say was.....'

i messaged him saying 'thank you straightening that out for me'

he replied that I was welcome

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

I don't want to give my real job title but let's say I'm Head of Hedgehogs. I chaired a meeting about a hedgehog. A man who works in the Salmon department began by telling me that a hedgehog is a mammal, with the air of somebody magnanimously imparting great wisdom.

Bet he didn't know it was a SPINEY mammal though!.

A win for you!

(God - I wish my job had been Head of Hedgehogs. Best job title EVAH!)

(I'd have kicked those bastarding Salmonsplainers in the caudal fins)

My hobby has two main creative aspects to it, both of which I have many years experience in, plus I've got a bit of experience in the other technical aspects. Think playing/conducting an orchestra, which it isn't (but this story is very outing if I say what it really is). A new guy joined the club, having been in the audience of one of our concerts. Very enthusiastic, happy to help in any way at all, and proceeded to tell us all how, having been in the audience once, he knew exactly how we could play better, conduct better etc. He came along to a few sessions, always dispensing 'advice' to at least one of us (often the whole group at once). The last time he came along I was in charge temporarily. He told us that one thing we had done would be so much better, from the audience point of view, if we did it in a different way. I said he had a point and we'd sort it when we were in the actual venue. He repeated himself. I repeated my reply (without the bit about him having a good point). He repeated himself again. I repeated myself again. He repeated himself AGAIN. I repeated myself very slowly and very loudly. He shut up, and left very soon afterwards.
Two weeks later, a few of us were helping with the technical stuff involved with putting on the concert. He turned up to 'help', tried in vain to attach a wire to the wall, and then sat on a chair telling everyone what to do for 2 hours, while his partner, who was lovely but very much under his thumb, attached all the wires correctly. He completely blanked me the whole time. He never showed up again, and when one of us bumped into him in the local supermarket he said our group wasn't really professional enough for him, and he'd joined an art class instead. Sighs of relief all round.
After a few years of not seeing him around, he turned up working in the local supermarket. I overheard him telling a woman the best way to lay wine bottles on the conveyor belt!

Hahaha a childless, partnerless young man at work (in his 20s) explained to me in detail about how breastfeeding works and that it really is best for the baby.

I had by then bf DD until she was two. I got my revenge by describing a particularly bad attack of mastitis in great detail until he went green in the face.

The obstetrician when I was in labour told me 'I couldn't possibly be ready to push as I had only been checked 10 minutes ago' now obviously I do realise that that is quick for professional but it was my second birth and I laboured fairly quickly first time round. He told me that I obviously wasn't coping well with the pain and sent a midwife to go 'get some good pain relief for me' by the time the midwife and him came in 7 minutes later I was on the toilet with a head between my legs.

DD called out DS for mansplaining the word "mansplaining" to her.

I have never been more proud of her feisty behaviour and his apology.

They were about 17 (DS) and 15 (DD) at the time.

I was once mortified by my husband mansplaining to a friend that morning sickness was all psychological as I didn’t have bad morning sickness (friend had had it quite badly)

I did tell him to shut the fuck up backed up my friend!!!

That chicken video is FAB, @GentlemanJackie!

Thank you - I loved it!

FIL explaining to me how inefficient, lazy and overpaid everyone is in the public sector and how it would all be fine if only he could get his hands on it. I've worked in the public sector for 15 years - cheers FIL, thanks very much.

A man once flagged me down in an underground car park to tell me I needed to put my lights on when I drove outside because it was dark! It was midnight - my lights were automatic.

The c-section ones remind me of my own experience. I had been in a lot of abdominal pain for 2.5 weeks, in and out of doctors and hospitals while they tried to work out what it was. They eventually gave me a scan and found something very unusual in anyone but babies (can't say what it is as it would be very identifying). The radiographer had two consultants come to check it as she was so surprised to see it on the scan. I was blue lighted to another hospital for emergency surgery. I was just so relieved that they had found what it was and could help. Upon arrival a junior (male) doctor came in and WITHOUT EXAMINING ME OR ASKING ANY HISTORY declared that it could not be that as I was not in enough pain ( I am not a screamer, I go quiet when I am in pain). He started to talk about discharging me! The surgeon then came in and started to examine me. He looked at me and said that he couldn't believe the pain i must be in or how I had survived the last couple of weeks. The junior doctor was still in the room so I told the surgeon that he had been about to discharge me without examining me. I then watched through the venetian blind as the surgeon gave the junior doctor the bollocking of his life. (Two hours later I had the surgery and it turns out if the junior doctor had sent me home I would probably have died within the next 12 hours).

@BlatantlyNameChanged

I hope you complained about this

Sincerest apologies, care fell short of expected standards, and lessons were learned that will help shape future care. Apparently.

Fuckers.

I am not a huge fan of the current version of Woman's Hour but they had an infuriating segment today about how womens pain is minimised.

DS1 was a 26 hour labour and he got the cord wrapped around his neck and had to be rescusitated. He has significant cognitive impairment which i believe is due to this.

Halfway through my labour when I was begging for an epidural the male anaesthetists commented sotto voce that I was 'making heavy weather of it'.

Haha a guy I know once told me he doesn't mind tomatoes in a sauce but he can't stand eating whole tomatoes. I said 'is it the texture of the flesh?' And he went to say 'no, it's the way they feel in your mouth when you...yeah actually it's the texture of the flesh' not sure if this counts but I thought it was funny that he didn't think I'd nail the problem in a more succinct way first.