What's the funniest experience of mansplaining you have experienced

[bjjgirl]

Please to help me keep my sanity and give me some light relief can you tell me the best examples of mansplaining you have experienced?

I have had a long day of this at work and it's just exhausting

We have an allotment.

For the last 15 years I have done all the gardening and 90% of the allotment including all the seeds, planting out, weeding, harvesting etc. Dh mainly done heavy lifting.

This year I have been finishing uni stuff off. Dh was getting impatient with not much happening so proceeded to start planting. And now keeps telling me how to do it, what he's done and why. And then gets arsey when I point out any mistakes. Sigh.

My toilet had blocked so I called someone out. The guy looked about 12 and straight away asked where my husband was. I said it's fine you can deal with me. He said 'you may want to write this down as it's very complicated!!!' To which I replied 'I think I'm good thanks'. He then told me the 'very conplicated' story of how the pipe was blocked. Just as he finished my husband showed up and the guy 'oh if I knew your husband was here I wouldn't have told you!'

Fucking twat.

I've got 3 degrees, but evidently the mechanisms of a blocked pipe are beyond a woman's comprehension.

I once had FIL repeat something back to me EXACTLY what I'd just said, but he presented it as his own. I was like and said 'Yes, I just said that??' '

DH trys to tell me how to use the kitchen aid mixer. He's never used it. I have.

Mind-boggling

I was at a work training event and a group of us were chatting over coffee. Someone asked what my job title was, and when I told them, they weren’t sure what it meant so asked what it is I do. Without missing a beat, the gobshite next to me started to explain what my job is and completely misunderstood what I do. I work in creative and he was in IT, so would know nothing about it. A couple of women in the group gave him the withering look.

He was a pain in the arse all day though. Sat up front and interrupted the trainer with his mansplaining. Then sent round a group email to every attendee inviting them to add him on LinkedIn. I did not.

Me to Sales Exec: I want to test drive the Suzuki Swift Sport...

Sales Exec : No, love, you want the 1.2...

Me: No...

This continued for a while and he basically refused to serve me. I threw a strop, drove 30 miles to the next nearest dealership and bought said Swift Sport off a lovely, lovely girl who arranged a test drive of both without silly comments.

I've worked testing customer service in the car industry, I do tend to know what I want to buy and why!

My husband's vegan uncle was coming round for lunch. I was making a pasta and bean soup, one of the few vegan meals I cooked regularly. Husband mansplained that I should be aware that I couldn't use chicken stock in it because .... ta da ... chicken stock isn't vegan. Well, no shit Sherlock!

@GentlemanJackie

I enjoyed seeing the cockerel mansplaining how to eat the food to the hens who were already eating the food in this video m.youtube.com/watch?v=8zrmI6zOLH4

Apparently it’s not just human males who do this

@GentlemanJackie I loved the chicken video! :-) 🐔

Jo

@BlatantlyNameChanged

Male doctor explaining to me how I shouldn't be in pain 24 hrs after c-section because c-sections are not particularly painful.

This happened to me too! I was in the ward, day after my section, and I told the nurse I was in quite a bit of pain/more pain than I expected for 24hrs post-section. The nurse got the doctor to come see me. The doctor looked about twelve years old, kept calling me Mrs , and pointed out that I'd had a section. Conversation went a bit like:

Me - I'm in much more pain than I'd expected, actual pain rather than discomfort

Him - You had a caesarean section yesterday

Me - Yes but I wasn't in this much pain after my last one, I really don't feel right

Him - Well during a section we make a significant incision into the lower abdomen and its normal to feel tender afterwards

Me - I don't feel tender, I am in pain

Him - Are you walking around? Too much walking can make it feel sore

Me - I needed morphine just to get out of the bed and I can just about make it to the toilet and back but it hurts too much for anything else

Him - Hmmmm, well you should be resting. I'll write you a prescription for some movicol as I think you might be constipated, all perfectly normal after a section. How's your bleeding?

Me - I'm not bleeding at all which I don't think is right either

Him - Bleeding varies and you did have a section

I got discharged, got even worse at home, rang back and spoke to the same bloody doctor who told me that I must have caught a bug from somewhere even though I hadn't been anywhere except hospital and home. When I started vomiting bile and had intense stomach pains he told me that I must have food poisoning. DH rang an ambulance and based on symptoms alone A&E provisionally diagnosed retained placenta within minutes of me arriving there, confirmed by a scan around ten minutes after that. Mr Mansplainer caused a delay that led to sepsis, secondary haemorrhage, ten days in hospital, and a raging case of PTSD. Cunt.

I hope you complained about this.

www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/how-to-complain-to-the-nhs/

Oh another one recently. I am trying to source a glass lightwell cover that opens from the inside (so it can function as a fire escape). This has proved very difficult. But one man i spoke to told me that he could only supply a fitted one that didn't open and he would come round to measure up. I politely told him no thank you as that was not what I wanted.

He then proceeded to lecture me on the fact that a window/lightwell does not have to open unless it is in a bedroom. I told him that I knew very well what the Building Regulations say, as I am a construction lawyer, but that was still NOT WHAT I WANTED.

I'm in a same sex couple and people constantly are confused by the lack of man to do the manly things.

An at least 70 year old bloke insisted on carrying a heavy furniture item out to my car after I turned up sans a man.

I've had workman ask to speak to my husband

Weirdest of all my neighbours in several different houses have taken it upon themselves to help mow our front lawn to help

My funniest experience was when I was having an email exchange with a car insurance brokerage. We were living overseas and were having difficulties getting car insurance in the UK. The exchange went on for some time and I had to leave to collect my daughter. I left my husband continuing the dialogue over email.

When I returned 10 minutes later, I asked how it was going and husband looked at me aghast - "he's trying to explain risk to me. He think I don't know what risk is". I fell about laughing. The email address was mine and the broker thought he was conversing with a women. My husband had just had his first experience of being mansplained to.

DH (in normal times) commutes to work on the train every day. I did the same thing until I stopped work to be a SAHM. Now I might only get the train to London once or twice a week.

Whenever we travel together DH will tell me where to go to top up my Oyster card, read out from the indicator board what platform we need to go to and will also tell me where on the platform I need to stand while I wait. When the train pulls in he will start rushing me 'quickly Confused, get on the train'. I point out that I have made this same journey many thousands of times on my own and don't need instruction but he persists. He is a lovely man generally but travelling with him is a total nightmare.

Some years ago we were doing a family trip to another city for a family wedding. D.C. and I boarded the train at the London terminus while DH went to buy a sandwich. We then watched him walk past our train to an empty train on the next platform and board the deserted carriage, ignoring the fact that the lights were out, all the indicator boards said that the train had terminated and most importantly that none of his family were on the train. We watched him settle himself and I would have left him there but D.C. took pity on him and called him to let him know he was on the wrong train. The memory of watching him answer his phone, jump with shock when he was told he was on the wrong train and then run panicking to the correct train is a precious one! Even after that he still treats me as if I'm the one that requires constant supervision on public transport.

I'm old now and get a giggle out of people mansplaining. It's not unusual for men to explain how I should look after the 7 year old dog I've had from 12 weeks old.

If I'm walking with a male friend, they always ask him for details about about my huge Deerhound. It amuses me to keep quiet.

In my old house, we had a damp issue with the unused, blocked in chimney (sealed at the top, blocked at the bottom) ExH had no idea what was causing it, I did. I explained it to him, he wasn't convinced. So I just cracked on with fixing it by myself.

ExH repeated it all to his dad, who agreed with me, and was impressed that I'd fixed it myself. Once the damp had dried out, exH proceeded to explain to me exactly what the issue had been, and how what I'd done had fixed it, and back it all up with "I know because Dad told me" Fucking idiot.

I was head of digital marketing at a company globally famous for how good its social media marketing is. Like there was no room on my desk for all the awards my team had won. A school dad (a self-employed fitness coach) once spent an evening explaining to me how social media worked.

A male relative explained to me how to deal with period pain. And how a hysterectomy is, in his experience, the best thing for me. Dickhead.

Wasn't really mansplaining because I asked a serious question and was interested in a serious answer. However, after about 20 minutes of really logical explanation to my question, he just went "well, actually ATC might just tell you to take off and climb to 5000 ft".

I trained and worked in tech, specifically internet tech, from pretty much the actual invention of the internet. Running multi million pound projects at director level. None of that experience has ever prevented any man from mansplaining how a computer works or talk absolute bollocks and random nonsense tech jargon about why something wasnt working. But I found that more amusing than a domestic lifetime of 'can I speak to your husband' responses from salesmen and tradesmen despite being the 'project manager and budget holder' of whatever was happening. I am sure that when I eventually calm down after writing this I will rermember the funniest one you requested. 😬

I am sitting beside my husband while reading this. Someone up post described a man explaining her motorbike to her, and it jogged my memory that I was going to tell him about an old public information film I'd seen today.
Husband is a biker of many years standing. This old film from the 1940s was about how to refuel a two-stroke engined bike, and it was all very "Mr Cholomondley-Warner" in tone. It ended with the demonstration of this new (in 1940s) pump which fuelled the little two-stroke bike, meaning the biker no longer had to mix up oil and petrol themselves.
Husband listens to this and then says: "Nonsense, there have never been dedicated fuel pumps for two-strokes."
And then I get a big long explanation.
I go on Google, find the film, and forward through to the end - to show him the white-coated man wheeling out the new-fangled pump.
"There!" I say.
He still doesn't believe me ...

I have worked as a professional in construction for over 20yrs so when the house building site near our house caused surface water flooding to our garden I got the site manager to come out to ask him how they were going to fix it. He told me how it wasn't anything to do with them and that I couldn't possibly understand as construction was 'very complicated. I waited for him to finish before telling him that a small housing development was small fry and I was used to managing projects from house building to multi-billion dollar commercial construction projects so I may understand a thing or two about what they had done wrong and had a few suggestions on how they could fix it.

This is rampant in health care. I once listened as an accountant explained to a doctor what neurotransmitters are and how they work. She's a board certified neurologist who went to Harvard Medical School. And he knew that.

I congratulated her afterward for not punching him.

When I asked a man in Currys why a particular Tumble-dryer was more eco-friendly, he seriously explained to me that it's because it uses less water...

Somebody once dictated to me the spelling of my own name!