What's the funniest experience of mansplaining you have experienced

[bjjgirl]

Please to help me keep my sanity and give me some light relief can you tell me the best examples of mansplaining you have experienced?

I have had a long day of this at work and it's just exhausting

I went into the hardware store and asked a guy working there for a specific sized blade for my lawn mower. He asked me how I know its that size I said coz I bought the mower and checked it therefore I know the size but he still wanted me to give him the model number of the lawn mower "just to double check"...

i had my boss explain the system we use for records at work to me...it was me who brought it in and set it up

This was more thoughtless arrogance than mansplaining I think, but it definitely riled me. I had been referred to hospital to investigate the cause of a loss of sensation in part of my body. A junior took my history and then a male consultant breezed in, white coat flapping and a gaggle of students following behind. He didn't bother reading my history and informed me that this was very common in women and was due to childbirth. I enjoyed seeing the students snigger when I told him that as far as I knew I hadn't had any children. Oh and the area affected was my knee.

Was once working in a tech-aligned UX role in a workplace where there was only one techie (who had less tech qualifications than me), we'll call him Joe. One of my colleagues was about to have her computer swapped out, and needed to put all of her work on the departmental external hard drive so that she could just get going again, we'll call her Jess.

Jess: "Uh Callit, WTF is THIS? " (cable end appears over cubicle partition).
Me: "Shit, that's a firewire cable. Those haven't been in wide use for 5 years--is that what the disk has on it?"
Jess: "Yup"
Joe: "Are you sure it's not just a new micro USB cable?" (these were new back then, firewire had a connection bigger than standard USB and shaped sort of like a tall skinny house)
Me: "Well, ok, they MIGHT have put a firewire card in all the computers when yours was bought, if this thing was in regular use, let's spin it around and have a look".
Jess: "OK"
Joe: " Are you really sure it's not just a micro USB?"
Me: (spins computer around) "Nope, no firewire port, we'll need to find another solution"
Jess "OK, I can probably burn it onto a couple of DVDs"
Joe: "Are you really SURE it's not just a micro USB"
Me: "Look, I have two degrees in computer science. How many do you have?"
Joe: gapes
Jess: sniggers.

I took my toddler DD to the hair dressers yesterday for her first cut since lockdown last year, I'm Dad for reference.

Sat her on my lap and talking to the hair dresser who asks what we want done, she then says "don't know why I'm asking you, you won't have a clue" I said no really I do I do her hair more than mum does and I'm very hands on.
I said I'm aware she has lots of split ends and although we like the length of her hair we are more intrested in it being healthy so just take of whatever needs to go. This was met with "before I do it is mum happy with that" mum wasn't even in the shop.
Then mid cut she's telling me how much easier mum will find it to brush now and I should be less knotty, I said I do her hair more than mum does, she's a Daddy's girl and I'm more gentle.

I honestly felt like I was speaking a foreign language when I told her I knew what I wanted or that I had an involvement in my DD hair as she just couldn't seem to accept it and kept referring back to mum.

Reading some of the responses on here I guess the problems stem from people thinking you are in a world you don't belong like women in car dealerships, diy shops or dealing with something technical but hand on, which then says an awful lot about the outdated views of the person I'm question.

Where the line gets blurred I guess is if I saw a lady with a flat tyre or broken down at the side of the road, I would be far more likely to ask her if she was OK than I would to a man.

Boatingforthestars - I guess the problems stem from people thinking you are in a world you don't belong like women in car dealerships, diy shops or dealing with something technical but hand on...

That's true.

A bit off topic but back in the eighties I was well into DIY and at a local builders' merchants waiting for materials, when a much older man next in the queue told me off for attempting to do such things by myself and said I was taking work away from those who really needed it. It wasn't til much later I thought I should have said I wasn't taking work away from anybody as I couldn't at that time afford to pay other people to do stuff anyway. A few years down the track and I even managed to put up a false ceiling above my staircase all by myself. It hasn't fallen down yet and still looks good.

Around the same time I had an interview with the local Halifax manager to ask about a mortgage. He more or less laughed at me and said no chance, because I was a woman. I walked out more determined than ever...

I'm sorry to realise this attitude is still so much a part of other's experience today.

@Bovrilly

This is not really mansplaining but several times when I've bought him a book that I've read and know he'll love, my DH has put it on the bookshelf and forgotten about it. Some time (maybe years) later, he comes across it, reads it and then goes on and on about how great it is, as if he has personally discovered a masterpiece.

Does he then suggest you read it?

The problem is its not funny is it? I can echo many of the experiences on this thread. I work in a male dominated industry, I've lost count of the number of men, often very young men explaining concepts to me for which I've actually written the white papers and presented them at conferences.

But what do posters do about it? I call men out on it but I reached the "don't give a fuck" position in life long ago. I don't care if little Willy Wanker is annoyed at losing bragging rights.

However my daughter's generation are going through this just as badly (and in terms of fully harrassment worse) than mine did. In the case of medical treatment it leaves women under treated, badly treated and puts lives at risk.

So rather than politely smile and say "men are just like that" what are we actually doing about it or doing to help less confident women stand up to this bullshit?

@Eachpeachpears

DH once mansplained mansplaining to me... Felt like a right dick when I pointed out what he had done

I saw a good post once on a feminist thread on Facebook. A man said, "A woman just asked me if I could tell her what mansplaining means. I froze like a rabbit in the headlamps, thinking, 'IT'S A TRAP. There is NO way I am getting out of this alive.'"

We (as in a few colleagues in the canteen) had Reddit and social media mansplained by a 22 year old

I did say we may be old but no about SM have been using it while you were still in nappies

My DP sometimes starts then stops when he sees a very particular expression on my face, laughs and says "and if you'd like further mansplaining..."

I had a male consultant tell me I had cancer, I enquired about the grade, he told me not to worry about stuff like that, it was a complicated method of them deciding how serious something was. He then turned to the man in the room who he had not been introduced to and happened to be a random visiting male friend and explained the concept of using a scale for measurement. We had both studied pure maths at university. The doctor continued to speak to my man friend and only stopped ignoring me to tell me if I wanted children I would have to hurry up, us career women seemed to think we could do both and we paid the price. He then shook hands with my friend who sat in stunned silence (friend had had no idea why I was even in hospital) and left.

@Heisbeingweird. I'd have complained that he was giving out private medical information to someone else. (Was this before HIPPA?)

@LemonadeSunshine

A few years ago DH & I decided to have a conservatory built, fairly large with much variety possible as the site is pretty flexible. DH hates dealing with sales, so I contacted 10 different companies, large, small, national, local, etc, to come and measure up, give suggestions and quote. A few asked if DH would be joining us, assuming he existed, but Everest were particularly stellar, initially refused to make an appointment until I could guarantee he'd be here. So I made appointment, then when they arrived and he wasn't here, they VERY reluctantly continued with the appointment but refused to send a quote afterwards. Their 25k loss

That's a standard and shitty sales technique.

Stops you going 'mmhmm thanks, I'll have to speak to my wife/husband'. And attempts to make you out pressure on each other in front of salesperson.

So like if one person seems to think it's a good price they'll be keen and the partner might go along with it, especially if the salesperson goes "this is a I e time thing" or "I tell you what
, I can see it's tricky deciding ,how about I take 10% off"

A first (OLD) date last night, he mansplained how he could drink a pint of ale and two large glasses of red wine and drive home because he was bigger than me, and then he offered me a lift home, I walked.

@Boatingforthestars yes but not just that.
It’s the feeling of superiority towards women that is the issue.
You were told you didn’t know, it’s not your area/you don’t do that sort of stuff. Not that you were too stupid and UNABLE to understand.

It’s very different imo.

Plus of course, you are talking about your dd’s hair. annoying I would agree but not life threatening. Whereas we are talking about women been stopped from progressing at work, being let down on a health pov (like untreated pain from a CS that become sepsis or the case just underneath your post of cancer....), aka possible life threatening stuff.

@Boatingforthestars - I guess the problems stem from people thinking you are in a world you don't belong like women in car dealerships, diy shops or dealing with something technical but hand on, which then says an awful lot about the outdated views of the person I'm question.

Where the line gets blurred I guess is if I saw a lady with a flat tyre or broken down at the side of the road, I would be far more likely to ask her if she was OK than I would to a man.

I think the difference here is you would ask if she's ok, whereas a mansplainer would leap into a detailed analysis of where she's going wrong as she lifts the bonnet or jacks up the vehicle and sets about fixing it.

Having said that, I'd always appreciate someone (man or woman) asking if I'm ok in such a situation - because I wouldn't be able to fix it myself. My skill set just doesn't include car stuff beyond tyre pressure, oil and antifreeze.

Where the line gets blurred I guess is if I saw a lady with a flat tyre or broken down at the side of the road, I would be far more likely to ask her if she was OK than I would to a man.

I would too, but it would be due to risk assessment rather than a presumption that she wouldn’t be able to handle the situation and a man would. I would be wary of getting out of the car with a strange man at the side of the road, and if a woman was on her own I’d want to help so she wasn’t in a vulnerable position on her own.

It’s to do with the instinct to avoid being in a position where a man could take advantage. And wanting to help another woman avoid the same.

My husband often walks into the kitchen and tells me or our teen daughter that the hob is on too high.

He doesn't cook. He has never done anything more complicated than cheese on toast or putting a frozen pizza or nuggets on the oven. He has never made a meal using the hob and properly cooked anything. He wouldn't have a clue how to fry an egg, or make a soup or stew.

I was fiddling about with my petrol mower a couple of months ago. It wouldn’t start so I had bought some new fuel, checked the spark, checked the filters, etc and couldn’t find an issue. So I took the engine to pieces, diagnosed that the butterfly behind the air intake had detached and I needed a new spring. I put it all back together again and was googling Briggs and Stratton parts when a neighbour, who I had never previously spoken to, appeared through my back gate. He took it upon himself to take my mower off me and lecture me about all the things I should check to get it going. It was stunning. At one point I had to given him the right size socket as the one he was using was the wrong size and it still didn’t penetrate. The sod even tipped out a tank of new fuel and refilled it (from the same can!) as apparently I should be careful about using old fuel. His conclusion was that it was something serious as the usual checks hadn’t shown anything. So I showed him the butterfly and he gravely agreed that was probably it. Honestly, you’d think the socket set and screwdrivers would be a clue that I had some mechanical competence.

In other news, his wife left him recently. Apparently she has gone to Australia. Not far enough if you ask me.

But what do posters do about it?

Call them out.

• Yes, I know this, I am an expert in this.
• Why would you assume I don't know that?
• Yes, thank you for repeating hepeating what I said, you have understood it correctly
• Yes I'm sure I need X part. Would you ask a man the same question?

I'm planning to get a new car soon. We've been buying cars from the same dealer/salesman for years and he's brilliant but these stories are making me think this is going to be more stressful than I thought (our guy has left the area AND I'm not buying the same car make). Sigh.

My all time favourite mansplaining moment was me, PR person with, at the time, 15 odd years experience. Sent out a press release with some super big news for the global, very famous company I worked for. Lots of reporters calling all day asking for extra/different details etc. All good. Male journalist who has just started his first job rings up to get a few extra details for his story - great. I answer his questions then he spends 5 minutes telling me that if I want to get a good result in future, I should prepare lots of different angles because journalists all want their own story and I'd get better coverage.

The mansplaining made me laugh but it was his absolute lack of self awareness that had me and my colleagues rolling our eyes afterwards. We'd just spent 10 minutes with him asking me questions and me helpfully answering them so that he could write a big story about the press release he thought wasn't going to get me good coverage?!

@Heisbeingweird

My DP sometimes starts then stops when he sees a very particular expression on my face, laughs and says "and if you'd like further mansplaining..."

I had a male consultant tell me I had cancer, I enquired about the grade, he told me not to worry about stuff like that, it was a complicated method of them deciding how serious something was. He then turned to the man in the room who he had not been introduced to and happened to be a random visiting male friend and explained the concept of using a scale for measurement. We had both studied pure maths at university. The doctor continued to speak to my man friend and only stopped ignoring me to tell me if I wanted children I would have to hurry up, us career women seemed to think we could do both and we paid the price. He then shook hands with my friend who sat in stunned silence (friend had had no idea why I was even in hospital) and left.

That is appalling!

Not funny, actually extremely irritating but my FIL instructing me on how to properly fix a blocked sink. I went to college for 3 years doing a plumbing course. This man couldn't even name the tool he was telling me to use (the wrong tool I might add).

Reading some of the responses on here I guess the problems stem from people thinking you are in a world you don't belong like women in car dealerships, diy shops or dealing with something technical but hand on, which then says an awful lot about the outdated views of the person I'm question.

Yeah we know.

When I was a law student we had a law society committee who arranged events throughout the year - a mixture of social things, educational events and networking opportunities. It was run by students elected to the committee and was generally a good thing. The president was a fourth year woman, generally a very good egg.

Every year there was an event called ‘bubbles and truffles’ in which representatives from various law firms would be invited to give presentations on what working for their firm was like, and afterwards there was fizz and chocolates and a chance for everyone to mingle and ‘network’.

One day, a first year student absolutely lost his mind on the law society Facebook group, claiming that the law society was a useless and pathetic organisation that wasn’t doing enough to facilitate career opportunities for students. He complained that there were too many social events and not enough business events, and was incredibly pompous, rude, and insulting to the committee members. He specifically said how much of an embarrassment it was to have a social event called ‘bubbles and truffles’, and suggested it made law students look bad that it existed.

In the next breath, he said that the only good event the society had ever done was arrange for law firm reps to come and do presentations / network.

Obviously the law soc President immediately pointed out that the event he was praising was, in fact, bubbles and truffles. He had been incredibly rude about her particularly in his comments, and she was impressively polite in pointing this out.

He absolutely wouldn’t accept this. Commented multiple times that he wasn’t talking about the stupid bubbles and truffles event, he was talking about the networking event with law firm reps. He actually said at one point ‘are you stupid? You have no idea what you’re talking about’ TO THE WOMAN WHO HAD ORGANISED THE EVENT HE WAS SIMULTANEOUSLY PRAISING AND DENIGRATING.

I think at one point he realised his error but was in too deep to concede, so he just kept digging.

I wonder what direction his career took in the end!