If you have a dog that jumps and you have visitors

[Sometimesfraught82]

Please
Please
Stop them from bloody jumping up at your guests. If a child was doing it, presumably you would.

But so many give dogs free passes.

Beautiful skirt I wore.... dirty and scratched before I’d even made it through to the kitchen!

I’m a bit nervous around dogs and normally tell dog owning friends that when I visit them. This usually means that the dog is held back for a bit at the start and I can meet it in a calmer way than if it leapt at me when I came through the door, which I wouldn’t like. All is normally fine then; it just takes a bit of care on both sides. I don’t like being around dogs that can’t stop jumping, snapping etc , and would avoid visiting someone who didn’t control this.

My brothers dog jumped up at my car and scratched it all down the door . His reaction was to tell me it would be alright with a bit of T cut! They actually took the same silly dog to their daughter’s house where the cat had just had kittens . They got their come uppance when the cat attacked SIL and scratched all down her leg.

@legotruck

'Ooo they won't hurt you'

'He won't bite, he just likes to give kisses'

'Don't worry, she just wants to be your friend'

Fuck off. Fuck off to all of this.

It's so bastarding intrusive.

I don't like dogs. I don't like them near me. Not licking, not jumping and not being my friend.

I do not like dogs. Keep them the fuck out of my person space.

It's not up to dog owners to decide their dog can come near me. That's up to me.

A line I like to use when a dog owner is smiling indulgently and saying ‘oh she’s just friendly!’ is ‘it’s not okay, I’m allergic, please get her off me’.

Dog owners like that give all dog owners a bad name.

@legotruck

'Ooo they won't hurt you'

'He won't bite, he just likes to give kisses'

'Don't worry, she just wants to be your friend'

Fuck off. Fuck off to all of this.

It's so bastarding intrusive.

I don't like dogs. I don't like them near me. Not licking, not jumping and not being my friend.

I do not like dogs. Keep them the fuck out of my person space.

It's not up to dog owners to decide their dog can come near me. That's up to me.

As a dog owner I appreciate the above view. It's fine to not like dogs, I feel the same way about most humans. If my dog does get a bit excitable with someone who can't handle it he's always called away and reprimanded however I'd just rather never invite anyone like this to my home (which also happens to be my dogs 'personal space') Thankfully my only regular visitors usually turn up with their dogs in tow too.

I have a jumpy one who is otherwise very well behaved. Tried various ways to solve it and never quite managed although she's a lot better than she used to be. You can see her trying to control herself but she doesn't always manage. I would like to know how to solve it other than shutting her away (which leads to annoying whining).

I totally agree with you!! I have a couple of friends who do this - just laugh and think it's all cute while the dog mullers me. Not everyone thinks the dog is cute!!!

Or when you see dogs walking down the river off their lead and they jump up and the owner says "oh she's really friendly". I don't have a fuck if it's friendly, I don't want it on me.

My SIL is brill though. She has a massive dog who is full of energy etc and would knock you over if it jumped up. They always put him on the lead when we go over, and they even take him out when we go over for meals as they are so respectful. That's the type of owner a dog needs!!

Putting on a lead for visitors is probably the best plan. I would also like to know how to stop her doing it to me every time I come in.

I hate it when you have to fake laugh and pretend to find it cute

Actually there's no obligation at all to do this; a calm "would you control it please" and a complete silence in the face of "Ooooo he's so friendly" and other assorted crap does just as well

It rarely works, but at least there's a tiny hope might just realise that having their hound slaver and leap isn't the best thing to do
And if they're beyond all reason you can just refuse to visit again

@AdelindSchade

Putting on a lead for visitors is probably the best plan. I would also like to know how to stop her doing it to me every time I come in.

Your dog is jumping up for attention and it's likely you and the rest of the household have been rewarding her with attention. So, as far as she knows, jumping up is effective at getting attention.

Whenever you walk into the house, ignore the dog until she has all four paws on the floor. Arms crossed, no eye contact, turning away if necessary. When she has stopped jumping, immediately give her some attention. If paws come off the floor again, immediately ignore her again. Repeat with unerring consistency.

As she's so used to jumping up creating attention, this is likely to take a while to crack. She'll probably be a bit frustrated at first - why isn't jumping up working any more?! She may even try harder with the jumping - if it worked before, why not double down on it?

She will, however, eventually get the idea that jumping no longer works and the new best way to get attention is to have all four paws on the floor.

yes, completely agree.

my dog jumps now. she never did before but her sibling died and shes has become incredibly nervous in certain situations. Her jumping looks like a weird hybrid of trying to be friendly but trying to get higher, as if that makes her feel more confident.

we have put a stair gate across a room on the ground floor and she goes in there when strangers arrive. she only comes out if they are happy and when shes calmed down.

She jumps when we come down in the morning too but thats getting better as we ignore her until she sits, then she gets fussed.

But no, letting dogs jump on strangers is rude

In my home my dog is in his home. If, like @legotruck you don't like dogs just don't visit.

Because he will jump up, sniff at you, wag his tail and want to hug you.

He usually gets put back in his crate or out in the garden when we have visitors who don't like dogs, even when they do, if he gets too excited, but I do expect that most sensible people would speak up. Otherwise we will use them as yet another training opportunity, trying to get him to calm down more quickly and completely. Cos that's the only way to train a dog and lockdown disappeared all visting humans.

So no, don't fake it, just say "could you control him please?" and leave if the twat owner starts with all the dog protective crap.

@AdelindSchade yes! Same with mine. You can see his bum hovering just above the floor as he tries to calm down and sit. But then just can't and off he goes into zoomies or pogoing round like Zebedee on a sugar high! I expect any visitors to either say they don't want to cope with it, in which case I will, reluctantly, shut him away, or to accept that he will be like that for a little while but we are working on his self control and they will then listen and help with his training.

In my home my dog is in his home. If, like @legotruck you don't like dogs just don't visit.

I wouldn't want your husband or kids jumping on me either. 'It's their home too' doesn't really work for humans, so why dogs?

@DeathByWalkies I was told all of that too. It doesn't really apply to mine, who never ever gets rewarded in any way for jumping up at people. I cracked that one when out walking him as well as at home. He doesn't jump up at people for attention any more.

What it is with him is the total overload of people in his house. The absolute need to have them, taste them, hug them, assimilate them, make them belong, part of 'us'. His self control disappears. You can see him trying hard to calm down and failing. Trying and failing.

As one great trainer/behaviourist recognised, it's more part of his lack of confidence than a desire for attention. With strangers in the house he loses his confidence, his relaxed certainty that he is safe. So he goes a bit overboard to reassure himself that the strangers are safe, can be accepted.

If visitors can put up with him long enough for him to sniff them, lean on them, lick them a bit, he can assign them their space in the house and forget them. They lose their danger.

Once we recognised his behaviour wan't naughty or attenton seeking it became much easier to help him regain his self control, when to praise and treat him to reinforce it.

Or.. you know.. just don’t visit? I’m sure they prefer their dog to you.

Then they have some kind of mental issue. Yes, probably best the OP stays away.

@legotruck

In my home my dog is in his home. If, like @legotruck you don't like dogs just don't visit.

I wouldn't want your husband or kids jumping on me either. 'It's their home too' doesn't really work for humans, so why dogs?

Because they are not humans, communicate quite differently and he is part of my family unit.

So, just as I would if there were small kids, babies or rude husbands, don't visit. Meet that person out of the house, alone.

@jellybeansforbreakfast

In my home my dog is in his home. If, like @legotruck you don't like dogs just don't visit.

It depends how you approach having visitors.
When i have people over to my home, I want them to feel happy and comfortable.
It’s my daughter’s home. My daughter has a penchant for wandering around naked in the mornings. If she suddenly wanted to do this when we have guests, I’d tell her to damn well leave the room and get dressed!

It depends how you approach having visitors. I think I explained that I do have at least 2 strategies!

So, just as I would if there were small kids, babies or rude husbands, don't visit. Meet that person out of the house, alone.
You wouldn’t visit people with small children or babies?

The point of that comment was that someone who doesn't like dogs at all, for any reason whatsoever, can keep themselves happy and safe by simply not visiting homes with dogs. Just as I avoid homes with small kids and babies - because I know that I don't like them, can't cope with them and would much rather avoid them completely.

@Sometimesfraught82

*So, just as I would if there were small kids, babies or rude husbands, don't visit. Meet that person out of the house, alone.* You wouldn’t visit people with small children or babies?

We crossposted.

No, I wouldn't. Never have. I don't like the sticky fingered wailing and persistence and having to put up with it because they are cute.

Precisely the same reasoning as for those who don't like dogs.

@jellybeansforbreakfast

The point of that comment was that someone who doesn't like dogs at all, for any reason whatsoever, can keep themselves happy and safe by simply not visiting homes with dogs. Just as I avoid homes with small kids and babies - because I know that I don't like them, can't cope with them and would much rather avoid them completely.

I didn’t know this person has a dog

* No, I wouldn't. Never have. I don't like the sticky fingered wailing and persistence and having to put up with it because they are cute.*

If my child had sticky fingers, I’d clean them and ensure they don’t go near you.
Because to allow a small child to start clawing at guests with sticky fingers would be inconsiderate and thoughtless

So none of your friends or family have young children?

Of course they do/have had. But I very rarely visited them at home when they did. I was always pretty hionest about it, nobody was offended., why would they have been?

Just as some people don't quite manage to control their dogs others lose track of their sticky fingered, loud wailing, generally intrusive kids. After a few attempted conversations that ended up revolving around placating a 3 year old and answering myriad questions and not getting any adult time, I stopped trying.

As I said, I do have at elast 2 strategies fo dealing with my dog and visotrs. One is to remove him. People tend not to do that with kids.

What did they say when you asked them to not let their dog jump on you?