Did anyone think they’d have the fairytale ending, but it didn’t go as planned?

[Stoprightnowthankyouverymuch]

I’m 32, I have a child and I’ve had several failed relationships.
Most of my friends are married and in happy and fulfilling relationships with children and lovely houses.
I own my house (jointly with my ex partner). So that’s at least part of what I wanted to happen.
I’ve been the bridesmaid several times, but never the bride I just feel tearful and a bit heartbroken when I think about how my life has turned out.
So many mistakes and so many regrets. And now a single parent too, even though I’m co-parenting with my ex.

I'm jealous of you because you're 32 and have your whole life ahead of you.

I'm over a decade older, have a young child, unmarried, etc.

As they say, comparison is the thief of joy...

Yeah... I’m sure sadly many of us do. I’m struggling with infertility with my DH and tbh marriage seems on the rocks. I truly naively thought I had everything to look forward to.
I’m sorry you’re struggling. Don’t give up hope though- you’re still young! And from my perspective, I know it must be hard to be a single parent from friends experiences but you are lucky to have your child (and they are to have you 💐)

What is a 'failed' relationship? One that ran its course and came to an end? That's not failing, it's just what human relationships do.

Fair enough to feel sad and grieve things you've lost, but not at the expense of living the life you have in the present. You're 32, you have a child, with many years ahead of you to enjoy. Ruminating like this on the past does you no good, you need to come back to the present.

Don't postpone your happiness off into the future with 'if x happens, then I will be happy' because it will never arrive. There will always be something else. Bring your happiness back into the present by actually living in the present.

Depends what your think is the fairly tale ending?

It rarely looks like you think it will.

OPalways remember you do not know what goes on behind closed doors! Looks great from outside but usually not so from the inside. Some relationships and dreams are over for you yes , but your life is not over & you can have new ideas & things to work towards or do - look forward to tomorrow not what did or did t happen over your shoulder yesterday

Not really...I never bought into the fairytale myth tbh.. I never thought there was "the one" or that kids would make me happy/fulfilled/complete my life. I'd take many relationships with a pinch of salt tbh... It's not always as it seems. I know very few truly happy and fulfilled marriages i k ow a great deal that stay together for the kids and look ok from the putside

I'm not sure the fairytale but things didn't go to plan, or what I assumed would happen. I met the man eventually at almost 30, got married, next step have kids... except turns out we can't. That's been upsetting because having children just is normal for most people, the world revolves around families and children, it can be difficult not being part of that. But we got through it and have accepted that we have a lovely life, just not the one we thought we'd have.

Maybe your friends aren't in happy and fulfilling relationships. Maybe they look like that from the outside, but on the inside they're just like mine and many others - trudging along at best, limping along at worst. Everyone else thinks they're with their soul mate, their Mr Right, when in fact they spend much of their family time in an anxious, unhappy loop, wondering how the hell they'll get off the interminable merry-go-round.

not really because nothing is really as it seems- crap relationship behind closed doors etc

see OP i think many people would be envious of your life - 32, house and a child - that’s a dream for many. appreciate you want marriage but am sure that will happen in time.

Yes I have that feeling. But I’m 10 years older than you. 32 is still so young! The world is your oyster. I’d love to be 32 again.

You’re 32 😂 you’re talking like you’re on deaths door! If you have good health and a happy healthy child then you have lots of happy times ahead of you.

I never thought I’d have a fairytale, but I thought that someone would want to marry me and never imagined bringing up children would be so hard.

I thought me and my ex would be together forever. I’m so glad we won’t be!
I’m a single mum to a 1 year old now and while I’m not where I wanted to be, I know there are a lot of people worse off than me and I can’t really regret anything because if I had done things differently then maybe I wouldn’t have my son.

I could have wrote this tonight but reading this just made me think- I would love to own a house and have the other parent involved to be able to co-parent. These are the things that make me feel like I’ve failed. You have them but aren’t happy. I’m sure someone else would look at my life and think ‘god I wish I had that, was like that’ etc

Comparison is definitely the thief of joy. It’s not game over yet!

Like the second poster- I'm jealous of you too! I'm the same age and even though I haven't maybe got as many relationship regrets as you have; I'm childless (not my choice!), I don't own a house and I'm single.

@Stoprightnowthankyouverymuch Truth be told, the vast majority of people have not had their life, and relationships, turn out how they had planned.

Problem is, we don't all live in a chick-flick, or in Disneyworld.

Believing in fairytales was your first mistake.

And actually fairytales always end at the point where the couple get together / get married, so you’ve probably had several fairytale endings already.

Real life is what happens afterwards, and you’ve got decades and decades of it left, so chin up.

I’m still waiting for my fairytale ending but it’s getting less and less likely.

I always assumed I’d get married in my early twenties, as it seemed that was what “everyone” did. Then I reached my mid-twenties. I thought I have to get married before I’m 30 because (at the time) I thought women who were in their thirties when they got married were really sad (being as 30 was so old!). Bear with.

Then I reached my thirties….and my mid-thirties….. and thought I absolutely must get married before I’m 40 as women getting married in their 40s were really sad.

Then I reached my forties…..and my mid forties…..now my late forties…..and as I’m going to be 50 next year, I know there’s absolutely no chance that I’m going to be married before I’m 50.

So seeing as I’ve never been engaged and never even been proposed to, and I’m 50 next year, I don’t think the fairytale is going to happen for me.

My daughter made a very brave decision at 26 and kept her unplanned baby ...am so glad she did 💕

.

Some lovely comments here.
I met my boyfriend at 35 with three kids, massive debts, saggy tits and a tash If I can do it, anyone can!

There is no “fairytale ending”. Don’t they all end the same way? Princess finds her Prince Charming and they all live happily ever after? It’s a bullshit lie fed to little girls for hundreds of years.

If you’re lucky you find someone you love, who you share the same outlook on life with, the same attitudes to money and ambitions on the same wavelength.

Fairytales don’t tell you that relationships and marriages take a fuck ton of work to keep them going. It’s not all roses, passionate songs and shagging at the drop of the hat for the rest of days (despite what Outlander has me believing...)

I’ve been married for 11 years, with DH for over 13 years. We don’t live a fairytale life but we’re happy but that doesn’t mean there weren’t times during the early years (when kids were little) that I wasn’t ready to call it a day and told him so. Marriage is a choice and I make the choice ever day.

It’s not too late to recreate your own version of a fairytale, and it’s certainly not too late to find someone who share your idea of that “fairytale”.

I always wanted to be married at 25, kids at 27. I am 29 with a dd (7). Not married and couldn't be happier now. For several years I wanted my dp to propose to me, I was practically begging him, now I have decided I don't want to get married and am happy as I am. Everything happens for a reason & it will all work out

What’s a fairytale ending though? Even married people with kids and houses have problems.
I’m not sure perfect kids and perfect marriage, perfect career, perfect extended family, perfect life exists

Brothers' Grimm may cheer you up ?

Or not!