Did anyone think they’d have the fairytale ending, but it didn’t go as planned?

[Stoprightnowthankyouverymuch]

I’m 32, I have a child and I’ve had several failed relationships.
Most of my friends are married and in happy and fulfilling relationships with children and lovely houses.
I own my house (jointly with my ex partner). So that’s at least part of what I wanted to happen.
I’ve been the bridesmaid several times, but never the bride I just feel tearful and a bit heartbroken when I think about how my life has turned out.
So many mistakes and so many regrets. And now a single parent too, even though I’m co-parenting with my ex.

I don't think even fairytales get a fairytale ending; you notice how they always end right after the wedding? That's because no one wants to see real life happen after that. It's completely unrealistic to think that anyone will just have a happily ever after for 50-60 years of their life.

You've not got a fairytale ending because you're not at the end of anything! You're still so young and you've got so much potential, I'd look to the future rather than dwelling on what you wish had happened in the past.

Buy you’re only young. Of course you can’t have a fairytale ending yet. You’re not anywhere near the end, let’s hope.
And what you have is part of the fairytale- you have a child, you own a house, you’ve had a long-term relationship. These are the stuff of fairytales.

I like to keep in the back of my mind that your circumstances can change dramatically in 5 years. I was 24, married and desperate for children but after 2 years we had some very poor results from investigations, working in a bank which I was bored of but had a good maternity package. Now I'm a nurse with 2 kids and still married, have lived abroad for 6 months, own a nice house the other side of the country. I could not have imagined while in that difficult time what my life would be like now just 5 years on.

You can’t talk about whether your life has a fairy tale ending or not until you’re on your death bed because circumstances can change at ANY point. At your age I had been forced out of a job I enjoyed and didn’t know what to do job/career wise (admittedly I had the husband and house and was pregnant) for the next 30+ years. Then the following year I started a new career and it was absolutely brilliant.

Aww I’m sorry OP that you feel so rubbish. What I’ve learnt is that everyone has their own problems. I have the relationship but I’m infertile, so to face a life without children (or at least not my own biological child) is so difficult to come to terms with. You still have your whole life to meet a nice partner, so don’t give up hope. 💐

32! You are barely old enough to think about settling down!
You can't be thinking about the ending when you are just at the beginning. It's too depressing.

It’s simple that you have to count your blessings. I am lucky with my background and then married the man I loved. At 38 with young DC and a husband abroad for work was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer. Chance of survival not brilliant tho now so far remission (yearly check soon) and now astonishingly a baby born after fertility busting chemo at 44. Who would have thought that would be the outcome...,

I'm 45, single, no kids, a host of long term health issues & have both my parents living with me as I am now the full time carer for my mum who's had several strokes & a triple heart bypass. My life has literally come to an end..

There's another thread running a bit like this and the woman is 23. Even at 32 I think you're writing yourself off waaaaaay too early. And making me feel very old in the process

@GordonsAliveAndEatsPies

It’s simple that you have to count your blessings. I am lucky with my background and then married the man I loved. At 38 with young DC and a husband abroad for work was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer. Chance of survival not brilliant tho now so far remission (yearly check soon) and now astonishingly a baby born after fertility busting chemo at 44. Who would have thought that would be the outcome...,

Sorry you've had to go through that. That's lovely that you are now in remission and have a new baby!

You wouldn't be human if you didn't have times of regrets or disappointment.

I think you've done brilliantly to own a house. That's an achievement not managed by everyone.

To a certain extent, the grass is greenest where you water it, and the goal should be to find happiness despite your external circumstances because those can and will change. It's hard though, when you feel like your friends are all doing better.

Are you dead ? If not, there is no ending. Only another day. Make the best of it,you don't know how many you have left. Xx

By the time I was 32 I had been in a long term relationship for 12 years which he ended months before we were due to get married. I thought my life was over and I would never get to have kids or meet anyone else. I'd never dated properly (we got together when we were 17) and I was completely blindsided by the break up. I was resigned to be being single and childless forever.
I'm now 40, married, have one gorgeous son and another baby on the way. It's not exactly what I would have planned for my life - I wish I had been younger etc - but everything that happened to me and every disappointment made me who I am today and led me to the life I have so I can't be too regretful. Your life is far from over x

At 32 I was in a failed marriage, breaking up with a baby of only 1 years old. Felt pretty grim at the time. It put me back financially and career wise. I was the main earner, but also main carer, and a few years down the line I just couldn’t cope. So I had to decide, mum, social life, job, home. I chose mum and social life, taking part time jobs.

Had a lovely late thirties. Met some wonderful people. Had the best sex of my life. Was around for my child as a toddler and picking up from school. Little money, tiny flat, but brilliant. And never regretted leaving Ex.

Fast forward I should be happy, had another lovely child, with a fantastic man. Unfortunately he turned out to be a philandering wanker. But I nearly got it right! Still again, could not have known. Chose very well at that time with the information I had!

Now, on my own again. Course I wish I’d met better men. But that’s not my fault. Nor is it your fault OP. We can go forward and try and choose better, but there’s a bit of luck involved.

What does a fairytale ending look like? Just being married?

That’s a great positive attitude @Rejoiningperson. Hope it inspires OP! 🙂🤞

@Stoprightnowthankyouverymuch

Everyone who starts a relationship, or gets married imagines the 'fairy tale ending', but the problem is that these 'events' are never an ending, they're a beginning !

Life really is like a river, it flows, it doesn't reach a bend and then simply stop, does it ?

It's the same for our lives, they are constantly flowing, leading us to a new future with every decision and every fork in the river, a new future is created by us.

You hanker after a 'fairy tale' ending, which has never existed, for anyone.

If you're not completely happy with the direction your future is heading, then you have the power to make decisions which will change the direction of your life.

You could take educational courses, change jobs/career, start a hobby, start saving to buy a house, travel.............everything is possible !!

Begin by imagining what you would like your life to look like in 5 yrs, then, then start making the changes which will make it happen !

At 32, your life is full of possibilities ! You are an adult, your future is in your hands.

Met DH in my mid 50s, planned a long life together then discovered, last year, that he has terminal cancer. We will make the most of the time we have now but I feel tinged with sadness and fear.

I know what you mean. I was conditioned from a young age that I’d meet a man and live happily ever after and it took a bit of adjusting when I realised after several failed relationships that this isn’t how my life would be.
Now I appreciate what I do have and don’t worry about what I don’t.

Thanks @Misty84 I really appreciate your comment. I hope OP finds hope. I do think us who don’t have our happy ever after do become quite rich people, not in money but personality. We have to, can’t rely on magical Prince Charming which can really help us to grow as people.

@bloodywhitecat so sorry to hear. I hope that you make many precious memories and have as good a life as possible with him. Life sucks sometimes.

You are so young, you can still have your happy ending.

Thanks for all the comments. I appreciate them all and sorry to those of you who are going through difficult times. It must be really hard.
I’m trying not to think in terms of a fairytale ending, but it’s hard, because that’s how I feel we’ve been conditioned.

A lot of people settle for second best. Or a lot of the time things start of well then a relationship deteriorates but folk just plod on and present a happy face.

Me. I got the fairytale ending - lovely house by the sea, beautiful daughter, job I enjoyed, great friends and family and the most wonderful soulmate in my DH - and then it all fell apart because DH died suddenly. It has taught me that happiness has to come from your inner self otherwise it's just too fragile to last.