AIBU re late father's paperwork?

[Funkyslippers]

My dad passed away last year, DB and I executors and beneficiaries. At the time DB and I sorted through all paperwork concerning his estate (step mum showed us where to find it) plus his belongings in the house he shared with our step mum. We visited her this week for 1st time in a year and she said she'd come across my dad's old divorce papers from his 2nd marriage. She told us she was v annoyed that we hadn't sorted them as she'd had to shred them. I was quite taken aback as I didn't know he still had them and didn't think it was a. Our responsibility to dispose with old papers that have nothing to do with his estate and b. Appropriate to go rifling through drawers without her directing us to do so at the time, especially as the Will has all been sorted? AIBU to wonder if as executors we should have gone through ALL his paperwork?

Is she a beneficiary? And who is?

I'd say the other paperwork is 'belongings' not 'estate paperwork' and therefore the possession of the person who inherits.

I can't imagine why she'd think it was your job to go through everything. You did what you had to do about his estate - that is all you had to do. As executors you didn't have to deal with ALL his papers , especially since his wife was still living in the house. I'd ignore what she said - she was wrong but it's not worth worrying about. Maybe you just visited when she was having a bad day.

If she inherited the house and it's contents then the papers belonged to her and were not your responsibility. However I agree, put it down to grief and ignore.

I can't imagine why she'd think it was your job to go through everything. You did what you had to do about his estate - that is all you had to do

As Executors you really must "go through everything" - otherwise you might miss something important such as verifying that the second divorce process had actually been completed (i.e. the divorce had become absolute).

If your step mother was married to your father, you presumably checked that the will that you mention was dated after the marriage date - otherwise it would not be valid.

Sorry, to clarify, yes the Will is dated after the marriage date. The house is my step mum's as she paid off the mortgage before meeting my dad. My dad contributed financially each month, I believe. I was under the impression that we as executors had to go through only stuff to do with his estate. DB and I are the only beneficiaries

I think as executors you should go through everything, it's your duty.

I'm afraid you do have to go through everything, including that previous divorces were completed correctly. Various half siblings and arms of the family you never knew can crop up unexpectedly.

Without going into the detail of the OP's case, other posters have said;

"the other paperwork is 'belongings' not 'estate paperwork' and therefore the possession of the person who inherits."
^As executors you didn't have to deal with ALL his papers"
"the papers belonged to her and were not your responsibility"

This is bad advice. As Executor, you are duty bound to go through everything that relates to the deceased - i.e. ALL the papers.

@Funkyslippers

Sorry, to clarify, yes the Will is dated after the marriage date. The house is my step mum's as she paid off the mortgage before meeting my dad. My dad contributed financially each month, I believe. I was under the impression that we as executors had to go through only stuff to do with his estate. DB and I are the only beneficiaries

How do you know if stuff is to do with the estate or not if you don't go through them? Of course you have to check!

Well if she’d left all his paperwork and belongings you’d have seen it!

It is wise for executors to go through every piece of paper they can lay their hands on, and to check that they have been given everything.

It is wise for executors to go through every piece of paper they can lay their hands on, and to check that they have been given everything.

So if the executor was a solicitor rather than a family member they would have to go to the house of the deceased and search it for paperwork?
It seems unlikely.

@Spodge

It is wise for executors to go through every piece of paper they can lay their hands on, and to check that they have been given everything.

To check their father isn't a bigamist? I'm going to take that on faith, consequences be damned.

She directed you to his belongings and paperwork you were sensitive enough to accept that

Surely all the papers belong to you.

So why was some left with her?

With a couple surely she'd haven't take some responsibility to say -all that stuff is Fred's and this pile is mine or tell you this is a mixed pile and please sort through it.

So if you left his paperwork at her house, it's your fault. If she didn't tell you what was his, her fault as she wouldn't want you sorting through her stuff would she?

Yes, you should have gone through it. What if there was a later will?

So if the executor was a solicitor rather than a family member they would have to go to the house of the deceased and search it for paperwork?

The solicitor would work through a check list with the family to determine what paperwork was needed. For example, if the deceased had been married previously, there would be a request for the marriage certificate, divorce papers, information about any children from the marriage, details of any pensions or life insurance policies that might still have the ex-wife named as the beneficiary etc. If the family could not provide this, a search in the Public Records would be made, enquiries made of former employers' pension schemes and so on.

All of this is made much easier if people keep their paperwork up to date and accessible, have a current will and actually tell the Executor where everything can be found in the event of their death. There is no need to tell the Executor in advance about the details of the will or of any "unusual" circumstances (e.g. a child fathered out of wedlock) - all that will come out when the Executor undertakes their duties. [Obviously if the solicitor drawing up the will is also the Executor, then the details of the will would be known to them before the person passed away].

They'd be waiting a long time for my decree absolute. Goodness knows where that is. I mean if DH died, DD wouldn't even necessarily know I'd been married before. Why would she?

They'd be waiting a long time for my decree absolute.

A solicitor would ask the Central Family Court as part of the procedure for checking whether or not the deceased had previously been married.

I mean if DH died, DD wouldn't even necessarily know I'd been married before. Why would she?

This is only relevant when you are the deceased. Why should your daughter know? - Because it could impact on who inherits or has a claim on your estate; for example if you took out a pension or insurance plan that names your ex-husband as the beneficiary and you never got round to changing it.

I was married and divorced in a different country.

FFS I need to do some bloody paperwork, don't I? I properly hate you @Havanananana

As executors, my DB and I worked through a checklist of duties and it said to collect all paperwork concerning the deceased person's estate. It didn't mention collecting ALL other paperwork as some of it would have nothing to do with their financial affairs

@Funkyslippers

As executors, my DB and I worked through a checklist of duties and it said to collect all paperwork concerning the deceased person's estate. It didn't mention collecting ALL other paperwork as some of it would have nothing to do with their financial affairs

But as beneficiaries it all belonged to you as well. You should have taken it away from the wife's house. It was your responsibility to gather up his possessions (as executors) and then give to the beneficiary (also you)

(Of course she could have said "all that is your dads" so you didn't have to touch her stuff)

As executors, my DB and I worked through a checklist of duties and it said to collect all paperwork concerning the deceased person's estate. It didn't mention collecting ALL other paperwork as some of it would have nothing to do with their financial affairs

ALL the paperwork relating to the deceased, not just the financial stuff, is relevant to the estate and it is vital that the Executors collect everything. Perhaps the checklist was not specific enough in this respect.

My comments are based on having been Executor for a few estates, but I am not a lawyer. One estate was a huge challenge as it took several months to track down all of the relevant paperwork.

The easiest one (from a purely admin point of view) was where the deceased had gathered all of the paperwork into a neat file and had included a "Table of Contents" list of assets, bank accounts, ISAs, pensions, name of the solicitor holding the Will etc. and sample copies of recent statements etc. and had written a covering document that included a short "CV" - date of birth, marriage, divorce, re-marriage, husband's death, employers etc - and copies of all the relevant certificates.

Bereavement is hard enough on the families and friends - so my final comment on this thread is to encourage everyone to spend an hour or so on a rainy afternoon to gather as much information as possible, make a list and to put it all into a file (and maybe scan everything onto a PC or memory device) and let your loved ones or Executor know where it is.

My husand died. He had no will. He had been married before me. His estate went through probate. No paperwork regarding his first marriage was requested or supplied for the process. As long as I had known him he had no such paperwork in his posession..

Havanananana my dad did have all his financial paperwork in good order. I was presented with a couple of files by my step mum and didn't think to question any other stuff not related to his estate. We went through his personal effects but didn't see any other paperwork at the time.

I looked up several different check lists/guides online and none mentioned that we as executors should go through ALL paperwork