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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU re late father's paperwork?

27 replies

Funkyslippers · 05/06/2021 14:54

My dad passed away last year, DB and I executors and beneficiaries. At the time DB and I sorted through all paperwork concerning his estate (step mum showed us where to find it) plus his belongings in the house he shared with our step mum. We visited her this week for 1st time in a year and she said she'd come across my dad's old divorce papers from his 2nd marriage. She told us she was v annoyed that we hadn't sorted them as she'd had to shred them. I was quite taken aback as I didn't know he still had them and didn't think it was a. Our responsibility to dispose with old papers that have nothing to do with his estate and b. Appropriate to go rifling through drawers without her directing us to do so at the time, especially as the Will has all been sorted? AIBU to wonder if as executors we should have gone through ALL his paperwork?

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 06/06/2021 12:51

Re reading the first post, the issue is that she didn't hand over all your fathers possessions (ie his paperwork)

You didn't need his divorce paperwork but you should have had anything (including papers) that was his.

So it's on her if you didn't have all his paperwork and she was upset to find it. If she knew stuff was intermixed either she should have sorted it out one day or given to you to sort of too upsetting.

Mine and my other half's paperwork is very separate but most married couples would be mixed up. So that is a tricky one (but usually the spouse is executor and beneficiary of most possessions/left over items)

KrisAkabusi · 06/06/2021 18:49

@Funkyslippers

Havanananana my dad did have all his financial paperwork in good order. I was presented with a couple of files by my step mum and didn't think to question any other stuff not related to his estate. We went through his personal effects but didn't see any other paperwork at the time.

I looked up several different check lists/guides online and none mentioned that we as executors should go through ALL paperwork

Again though, how do you know if the paperwork has to do with the estate or not if you don't go through it?
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