To wonder how ppl do it...afford it all?

[wishywashyy]

How do ppl (I mean the average joe!) afford everything? I know, I know situations are different BUT in general
Mortgage
Car payments (usually 2!)
Childcare
Savings
And general living

It doesn't add up
Mortgage/council tax on average would be what? 700-800?
Car payments x2 600?
Childcare (let's just say one lot) approx 1000
That's 1400 alone at least!
Saving? I suppose that's depending
General living? Another 800-1k
So That's 2k
Then there's other bills which would be 500ish
That's 2.5k in total

That's a take home of about 40k! Gone! And no savings!

I'm baffled and freaked out at the thoughts!!!

It amazes me how entitled people are on here to disrespect those that put in the hard work to reap the benefits. Nothing in life comes to you on a plate, it's a simple formula:
Study hard at school, get a job, any job but one that you can climb the ladder and that maybe you could do yourself in the future, don't have children until your 30s so that you can build up savings, buy a property and be secure before they come along. Once you have children, it all gets harder. One of you or share to be a SAHP means you don't pay any early years childcare costs. Sure one of you may have to put your career on hold for several years, but they are your children and by the time you've gone to work, paid petrol, childcare, have the stress, I can't imagine it's worth it when you could have a part time home based/ remote job. Buy second hand cars, don't eat out much, don't buy takeaway coffee etc, make your own lunches, keep your utility costs down, buy property in need of work, change your mortgage deal at least every 2 years, shop around for insurance and utility quotes, plan and book your holidays by part - book your own flights, accommodation etc (no package deals), don't go to touristy resorts but find a country that offers the same but vastly cheaper, days out can be cheap if you look for vouchers and offers.
It's sure not rocket science - people like to complain, yet can't be arsed to put any effort in. That's why they don't have a £425 mortgage on a 5 bed house.

Are you joking Starlight 13? If only it were that simple to 'study hard in school' and 'get a good job', its not that easy for everyone you know? People struggle at school, sometimes they try and cant do it, they may never get a 'good' job and one you can 'climb the ladder' dont be so naive.

Well salary's in the NE are dismal compared to a lot of places, nurses wages like mine are still below the average wage. Very gloomy for our children's futures.

@starlight13 I am someone who has grown up with a very privileged lifestyle and have been lucky to be able to replicate that with my own family. However, I recognise that completely but if you honestly think it’s a simple as “study hard at school” and “get a good job”, then you really need to educate yourself. Also, mortgages depend on income and deposits. Where I live, a detached 5 bed is in the region of 850/900k. Now let’s say I have a mortgage of £425 for 25 years, I would need maybe a 700k deposit. Maybe I should stop complaining and get off my arse and put some effort in so I can stop wondering why I don’t have a 5 bed with a £425 mortgage. Your attitude astounds me.

@starlight13 you've got all that and yet the emotional intelligence of a 3 year old, think I will take my slightly more chaotic adult journey along with my compassion and realism.

" Now let’s say I have a mortgage of £425 for 25 years, I would need maybe a 700k deposit. "

Come on now, user, just stop buying takeaway coffees for 1,000 years and you'll make it!

Are you joking? You clearly have not read my posts 🤔

@starlight13 the posts where you said it's an easy formula everyone just has to follow, like working from home full time to avoid childcare costs...very astute...

@starlight13

Are you joking? You clearly have not read my posts 🤔

Yes, I have definitely read your posts. My favourite is this quote “childcare which they could (or should?) be doing themselves.”

Tomorrow morning, when I go to school to teach your teenagers, I hope you don’t mind me sitting my 3 dc at the back of the room. I could/should be doing the childcare myself so hopefully my 18 month old doesn’t disrupt any learning. It’ll save me a lot of money in childcare. I hope you and the 30 other parents understand my situation

If only it were so easy to just study hard at school eh and get a good job, hilarious someone actually thinks this way..............

Why aren't you sharing parental responsibility with your partner?

Sure one of you may have to put your career on hold for several years, but they are your children and by the time you've gone to work, paid petrol, childcare, have the stress, I can't imagine it's worth it when you could have a part time home based/ remote job

Which part-time home-based jobs, which are compatible with full time childcare for a couple of toddlers, pay enough to be worth giving up a well-paid full time job?

If your job is well-paid enough to pay the mortgage on a five bedroom house (which are £2-3m around here), I don’t think it is financially very wise to give it up to be a SAHM, just to save a couple of grand on nursery fees, do you? Unless the well-paid job in question is actually your DH’s.

None of your “simple plan” makes any practical sense - I suspect you are very young and it is all stuff you imagine you’ll do in the future.

Living costs are high, or at least I think so. My mortgage is around £1,600pm, with bills (Inc council tax) at around £500 and another £500pm for food. Childcare is insane. I do think it's very high and totally unexpected. I really thought, as a child, that living wouldn't be so expensive.

I have seen the figure before of the average wage being 26k ish but then the average household income being about the same. I don't really understand that because shouldn't it be higher if in most households 2 adults work? Or perhaps that's not the case...and is it the mean or the median? Is it skewed by the very high earners?

Median household income and median full time annual salary are both around 30K dayslikethese1. Your confusion is very natural, but the explanation is that a) household income is after taxes (and benefits) and b) an awful lot of people work part time.

Yes both figures are medians.

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/personalandhouseholdfinances/incomeandwealth/bulletins/householddisposableincomeandinequality/financialyear2020

What’s your definition of “general living”? Do you mean you spend 1k on groceries?
I have 0 cars. I don’t have childcare costs. Nobody knows how to live within their means anymore. Nobody wants to live a simpler life.

by the time you've gone to work, paid petrol, childcare, have the stress I can't imagine it's worth it

I don’t find it stressful.

Fuel is £0-£50/m depending on whether I actually go to the office or not.

Childcare (3days/w) for DS1 is £5-600/m, when DS2 arrives it’ll be £1-1200/m for one year then back to £5-600/m.

£300 each a month for me and DP to both accelerate our careers, smash huge amounts into pension and increase our earning potential is nothing. Ok, when it goes up to £600 each month each it’ll be tighter, DP will cover more than me because he outearns me and we work on a % basis. BUT when the kiddos are both in school we can both drop our hours to 9-3 (work are both flexible) and even with the salary decrease still take a gross of at least £71k as a household (assuming neither of us get pay rises, which I will because I’m about to graduate).

So, you don’t need to imagine it:
Crunching the numbers it makes sense to work throughout childcare year(s) for us. From a family perspective we both want to maximise time with them when they’re up and about and into clubs and activities, hence the school age dropping of hours.

30k (median average) for an entire household is not a huge amount if the household has kids, especially if you live in an area with high housing costs...I guess it's cheaper once the kids are older and don't need childcare.

Thanks appletree for explaining the averages.

Most parents of young kids can't afford two cars on payment, I stayed at home so no childcare. We lived cheaply.

My kids are grown now, our bills each month are around £2000 which includes allowances for university

Bit easier now as teens. No childcare. We both working I temped for good while. Neighbour does Florida but cleared mortg early. We live well but wasnt always like this. Bit more money now with me working. Home when kids young as couldnt afford creche for 2

I definitely spend nothing near £1000 on “general living” and bought a car I can afford outright so now ridiculous car payments. Both my kids are at school so no childcare. Basically living within my means

I get what you're saying OP. Lots of hidden costs too so most people end up spending more than they earn.
I think it comes down to living within one's means but unfortunately people class wants as needs and end up in debt. Trying to keep up with friends and family is another downfall of many.

You sound so boring