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Original poster

Covid rules - creating arguments with DH

35 replies

TequilaMockingburd · 04/06/2021 20:06

Aaaargh-

We've had a few testing conversations since lockdown rules were relaxed - mostly around DH's need to be seen as Mr Socialite and my cautious nature which he sometimes sees as negative!

We don't always come at things from the same angle as a result of this differing style...

Tonight's tension is over his friend arriving from an Amber listed country and DH agreeing that he can come here and spend time with us all and bypass the 10 days isolation. He is happy for his friend and wife and 2 kids to be in the garden here, thinking that's safe as it's outside. We also have three children - one 9 and two under 5.

I'm not feeling this is a great idea but when I've questioned the logic it's been shut down as me being negative - fun police!

He's gone on and pointed out where I've had double standards with the rules by being in my parents house a few months ago.... this is true, I did do that...but the only rule I broke was a travel ban rule between towns.

Would you be happy with the visit to go ahead? Am I being unreasonable in my challenge?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 04/06/2021 20:11

No I wouldn't be happy. And it's nothing like you visiting family

Mindymomo · 04/06/2021 20:24

Are you all going to isolate along with the friends family for the 10 days and does your DH know that the family will either be called on in person to check that they are in isolation and will probably ask who else is in the house and are they also isolating. If you are not going to isolate I would be very unhappy.

DriedIris · 04/06/2021 20:28

Fuck no.

BlueDucky · 04/06/2021 20:30

Are you all isolating?

MindyStClaire · 04/06/2021 20:31

No I wouldn't personally be comfortable with that.

I think if you have differing approaches, the fairest compromise is to agree to follow the letter of the law for both of you.

MiddleParking · 04/06/2021 20:32

I’m with your DH.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 04/06/2021 20:33

What does he mean by bypass the isolation, that's not a thing.

If they are coming from an amber list country they need to be isolating in their own home and following the rules.

BlueDucky · 04/06/2021 20:35

Sorry posted too soon.

If you are going to see them then I think morally you will have to isolate from when you see them.

Otherwise if they bring a variant with them you run the risk of spreading it.

I would just wait until they've finished their isolation. It's not worth the risk.

greenlynx · 04/06/2021 20:35

No, I wouldn’t. I also think it’s absolutely unnecessary and can wait a few days. 10 days quarantine is here for a reason.

murbblurb · 04/06/2021 20:36

If they come to you then you all isolate together. They are no special shits and the rules apply to them. Hubby can get on with organising a ten day lock in for all of you.

Original poster
TequilaMockingburd · 04/06/2021 20:36

Thanks everyone... no.... I don't think he's considered that we'd have to isolate, or that there would likely be a check.... he reckons they will land, get to their uncles house and then be able to duck under the radar.

It feels like such a risk for a bit of socialising but after the 'chat' I'm now feeling like I'm being draconian and difficult....that's more what I have the issue with I think.

Good to get your opinions and so thanks a million for taking the time.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 04/06/2021 20:39

Well I wouldn’t be happy with that at all, but I have stuck to the rules. I don’t think you have any room to talk to be honest, we weren’t supposed to visit parents in another town a few months ago, your DH has a point about double standards.

cupsofcoffee · 04/06/2021 20:43

Hmm, I'm kind of with him in the sense that you broke the rules months ago (you shouldn't have been meeting anyone indoors then) - so why was it okay for you, but it's not okay for him?

Original poster
TequilaMockingburd · 04/06/2021 20:43

No, I know... he did make a fair point on that. I weighed up the risk and went.

OP posts:
Original poster
TequilaMockingburd · 04/06/2021 20:45

I think the difference was that both my parents are in their eighties ... had been vaccinated and I could trave from my tier but they couldn't . So I went to them. To be honest though... I thought/think he is not picking at that and flying a family from 5 over from an Amber country and dodging the law... feels a tad different.

But I am accepting the comparison

OP posts:
FeatheredHope · 04/06/2021 20:45

The rules are pretty clear. What makes him
(And them) so special they don’t think they apply? Especially with all the concerns of spreading new variants.
BTW they’re also at risk of a £10,000 fine if they break quarantine.

Covid rules - creating arguments with DH
Original poster
TequilaMockingburd · 04/06/2021 20:46

*nit picking not not picking

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 04/06/2021 20:51

10 days with 2 kids not being able to go out anywhere doesn’t sound fun at all.

cupsofcoffee · 04/06/2021 20:51

@TequilaMockingburd

I think the difference was that both my parents are in their eighties ... had been vaccinated and I could trave from my tier but they couldn't . So I went to them. To be honest though... I thought/think he is not picking at that and flying a family from 5 over from an Amber country and dodging the law... feels a tad different.

But I am accepting the comparison

But at the end of the day, you broke the law, he wants to do the same.

I think your DH is naive if he thinks his friend won't get caught, though.

NC276 · 04/06/2021 20:51

I'd be really firm on this; "that's fine DH, you socialise with your friends that should be self isolating, but not in our house or garden and make sure to book a hotel for the 10 days so you can then self isolate". I'm in no way strict on the Covid rules, however, when you're supposed to be self isolating you should be doing exactly that.

Quartz2208 · 04/06/2021 20:55

Priti Patel said it’s a £10,000 fine and they are doing spots checks a day up to 10,000 so expect to be checked with a least a call

It’s serious and isn’t the same as seeing your parents at all

Dalooah · 04/06/2021 21:03

You've not made it clear if they'll be living with you or just coming to visit during their isolation.

If they're living with you- it's actually legal as long as they isolate in your home- ie: don't go out. You and your family are free to go out unless someone in their party tests positive, in which case everyone would have to isolate.

If they're coming to visit they would be breaking the law and you would be facilitating. If they're so desperate to see DH they can pay extra to have a test to release test at day 5 and once they get a negative result for that are clear to end quarantine.

I'd be really annoyed at DH if he agreed to having people over who were meant to be isolating.

Thehop · 04/06/2021 21:09

Completely different to you visiting family.

Absolutely bloody ridiculous of them and totally unreasonable.

Report them.

Original poster
TequilaMockingburd · 04/06/2021 21:09

They are staying with her brother and DH was trying to orchestrate a garden visit to ours. So ... yup.... totally breaking the law.

OP posts:
ihearttc · 04/06/2021 21:12

I completely agree with you with regard to them staying etc but isn’t it only the people that travel that have to isolate? DH is likely to have to travel for work soon and will be able to do the isolation when he gets back but as I understood it the rest of us won’t?

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