AIBU to throw away the contents of this box?

[desperate4spring]

My lovely mum recently delivered to my house some boxes of 'things' that she had found in her loft that were mine from yeeeears ago. A lot of it is old clothes from my teenage years which dd is delighted about as some of it fits her.

One box however is full of all of the cards that they recieved from friends and family when I was born, at my baptism and for my 1st birthday. I find it slightly bizarre (although also somewhat touching) that she has kept them all this time - including 4 house moves.

I've had a look through them and have put aside a couple of special ones, but otherwise do you think it's ok for me to throw the rest away? It seems a shame when she has kept them all this time, but I really don't see why I would keep them all?

My Mum did the same to me a couple of years ago. The cards look really similar in design to the ones you have! I toyed with what to do with them. In the end I kept my 1st and 18th birthday cards and ditched the rest. I bought a lidded plastic box for them and just shoved them in the loft with my own DC’s boxes of baby stuff (I have a box for each of them which has their hospital band, the first outfit they wore and their birth celebration cards, and for Dc2, a deflated balloon and soft toy which were his present from Dc1, and that’s it).

My mum did this and she's been clearing out a lot since my father died. I'm taking it on as a project - sort through them all, keep the ones I want to and research clever ways of storing them and/or using them, recycle the rest.

Do men keep all this junk?

probably not the ones who also consider them to be junk, but there are plenty of men who like to treasure what they consider as valuable memories too.

Anything that isn't wanted by anybody can usually be put in a bin by the owner using their hands - you don't need a penis to do it

I also agree with PP that, although we're all different, I think it's common to see these things in a different light when the 'linking' person is gone and these are among the only tangible things that you have left. Then again, as we've already discussed, keeping them can upset some people even more.

My mum gave me a similar box a couple of years ago. I kept them, and its a nice reminder of their (mainly church) friends who are mostly now all gone.

The fact you don’t want them is your answer. Of course it makes sense for people who like sentimental items to keep things, but if that’s not you that’s ok.

I have a small handful of things that are meaningful to me (like my mums old charm bracelet and my children baby grows) but I have no desire to accumulate boxes and boxes of sentimental stuff.

I cleared 50 years worth of stuff out of my parents attic at Christmas so they could move. They’re sentimental and keep everything but in the end it was my burden to sort through it and get rid of it (sorry to sound dramatic but it really was a burden).

@Burnt0utMum

I'd ask her if she wanted them back before throwing them away

Me too. I bet she’d be gutted if they went in the bin.

I have cards from my mums eighteenth , 21st and ones from when she married and had us kids. They are really special to me as my mum died when I was young and these cards sort of confirm that she did exist and people loved her.

I have nothing from my childhood, due to two crap parents and a tendency of their to throw my stuff away if I upset them when i was growing up. I would love something like this. But I can see space could be a problem. Since they are yours, I wouldnt feel obligated.

Other people’s “treasures” don’t have to be yours. If we keep everything from our own lives and our parents, where is the room for our children and theirs special things.

But aren't things like this potentially 'joint treasures'? Why wouldn't birth congratulation cards be treasured by both the parents at the time and the actual baby when they're older?

Also, as I said before, as the 'child', several of the things that were precious to my beloved DPs are now my special things, as well as plenty of my own stuff and that of my DS and his life milestones.

I know we're all different, but I sometimes get the impression on MN that the purpose of family is merely to transfer life from parent to child on a purely practical basis and not to actually share a good portion of your lives, interests and memories together. We see it as well on all the threads where a DC turns 18 and people seem to think they should now be a fully independent adult and need to be turned out of the house and never given a penny more or any other kind of parental assistance.

I have cards from my mums eighteenth , 21st and ones from when she married and had us kids. They are really special to me as my mum died when I was young and these cards sort of confirm that she did exist and people loved her.

That's so beautifully put - same here.

the only thing i would ask is have you got kids? I have got things relating to my Mum's childhood and wedding and when I no longer wanrt them , my sister's adult kids and their teenage kids do...but of there is no one in your family who wants them then I would shred.

I think it's a lovely thing for her to have kept but it's no unreasonable for you to get rid if you don't want to do the same.