Wedding suit drama - AIBU?

[Hopelesshostel3]

My best friend has turned into a complete bridezilla - so much so that the friendship will never quite recover after the wedding. As my opinion is pretty cloudy as it is just wanted to see who’s being unreasonable:

In MOH and my partner is buying a new suit as he’s gained weight over lockdown/wants to look nice on the day. He was looking in a shop recently and sent over a picture of a suit he liked. As I was with my friend I showed her it (I thought it was really nice). She’s said he can’t wear it as it’s a similar colour to what the grooms party is wearing. She also said he can’t wear a tie that’s the same colour as my dress as that’s also what the grooms party will be wearing.

Here’s my AIBU it’s a different style of suit, while it’s the same colour it’s different material/pattern and it’s a pretty standard suit colour. My partner is feeling pretty insecure he’s gained weight and it’s the first one he’s liked the look of. As he said, it’s an expensive outlay and he’ll be wearing it for other weddings/events to come.

@Sunbird24

Totally agree with everyone else, get the suit, change the tie. If you’re having flowers as MOH can you pick a colour that’s in there so he still sort of matches you and get a tie and pocket square?

Like this.

A tie that matches when you have personal photos but doesn't cause any unnecessary angst in the day.

But yeah to navy suit.

She does realise suits mainly come in grey black or navy? 🤦🏼‍♀️

Navy suit is fine, but he should use a different tie.

I would change the tie to keep the peace, go for something else complimentary but not matching, but she’s being an absolute plank about the suit. For goodness sake, navy is such a common colour for suits!

NAVY?!?!? FFS half of the men will be wearing navy, the rest black. And nobody has ever cared what kind of suit they wear, as long as it's not utterly fugly

there you go, wont be any mistakes now

www.amazon.co.uk/Smiffys-43526XL-Comic-Strip-Suit/dp/B00IKL8JYK/ref=asc_df_B00IKL8JYK/?hvlocphy=1006959&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=310705730576&hvpone&hvlocint&hvpos&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-324705435306&hvrand=7269193293869575652

My DH loathes wearing a suit.

Because of this, his last suit (which is navy) is actually just the trousers and waistcoat. He's worn it to weddings and no one has batted an eyelid that he's no jacket.

Is that an option??

He could always wear that white low cut onesie from a thread on here the other day.

That'll give Bridezilla something to really whine about

He gets to choose his own suit FGS.

Say nothing more to her about suits unless she asks. Then just tell her he's found a very suitable suit ( be very vague .. "it's dark, ish"

ON HER WEDDING DAY, the last thing on her mind will be checking out the suits of the guests. She won't remember (or care) if it's the one you showed her or not.

Is she bitching about your MOH outfit yet?

@MaggieFS

Navy suit is fine, but he should use a different tie.

He should wear the fugliest tie he can find... maybe an orange one with pictures of small female dogs all over it. Or little pink pigs.

There will be plenty other men in navy suits so she'll have to get other it!

She’s going to lose her mind when the day comes and approx 75% of her male guests are wearing a variation on a navy suit.

Anyone else disappointed that it isn't a white suit?

@missmopple

Anyone else disappointed that it isn't a white suit?

With just two bits of material to cover the nipples 🤣

Please tell us more Bridezilla stuff that she's done...

A navy suit is completely fine, most men will be wearing one. Don't confirm anything with her or get into any explanations defending the choice of suit. Just ignore if she asks or tell her to fuck right off and stop micromanaging you

When did brides get like this, it’s a wedding not the Third Reich! Unless she’s planning on banning every man with a navy suit, you’re good. I’d be careful not to match the tie, that’s fair enough. I do think you should turn up in a big white meringue now though ;-)

I'm sorry but I'm going against the grain here to say I don't think she's being that unreasonable. If I showed my friend as suit and she said it was the colour the groom was wearing I would suggests my OH got a different one.
Of course there will be lots of people in Navy suits but they presumably won't have asked first?! You did ask her opinion...
I feel like there are bigger things at play here as if it was one of my friends I wouldn't think that much of it.
Also I was at a wedding recently where someone turned up in the same suit as the groom (more unusual to be fair) but it was so awkward, he felt terrible as it was a small wedding and really noticeable.

She has no say on his suit..... Buy the suit but pick a different tie.

@FrenchieFromGrease

The list is huge and very outing.

I’m essentially the host of the event (making sure everyone is seating in the right places/changing the venue from wedding to reception to night/organising the going away parade/making sure that people don’t make a noise outside) and that’s just on the day.

The hen do is organised by her, doing activities nobody wants to do/miles away from everyone and costing an arm and a leg. As not many people have signed up to it it’s costing us more money to cover the empty places.

She’s not paying for anything for me except ‘your meal for both of you will be paid for by us’ but on the scheme of things it’s a drop in the ocean.

-‘if you don’t pay for your hair to be done I can’t have mine done as the hairdresser will only come out if x amount of people are getting it done’.

-been told what days I’ll have to book annual leave off as she needs me on XYZ.

The whole process I’ve not been asked if I feel comfortable/ok/if it works for me. I honestly feel like a child that’s been dragged around by her parents and doing as I’m told or they’ll be trouble. Funny enough she was the last person I’d ever expect to be this way.

@mamamalt

I'm sorry but I'm going against the grain here to say I don't think she's being that unreasonable. If I showed my friend as suit and she said it was the colour the groom was wearing I would suggests my OH got a different one. Of course there will be lots of people in Navy suits but they presumably won't have asked first?! You did ask her opinion... I feel like there are bigger things at play here as if it was one of my friends I wouldn't think that much of it. Also I was at a wedding recently where someone turned up in the same suit as the groom (more unusual to be fair) but it was so awkward, he felt terrible as it was a small wedding and really noticeable.

How is a navy suit remotely distinctive?!? They’d be wearing some tone of navy-black-grey that basically all look the same anyway.

If you put 3 men int eh exact same suit in a group of 20, I doubt I would even be able to work it out.

@StellaLeonte I’m pretty sure she would put up a ban list and she has been compared to nazi by her own sister

You reckon you've risked outing yourself by disclosing your dh is buying a navy suit?
🤣🤣🤣

[quote Hopelesshostel3]@FrenchieFromGrease

The list is huge and very outing.

I’m essentially the host of the event (making sure everyone is seating in the right places/changing the venue from wedding to reception to night/organising the going away parade/making sure that people don’t make a noise outside) and that’s just on the day.

The hen do is organised by her, doing activities nobody wants to do/miles away from everyone and costing an arm and a leg. As not many people have signed up to it it’s costing us more money to cover the empty places.

She’s not paying for anything for me except ‘your meal for both of you will be paid for by us’ but on the scheme of things it’s a drop in the ocean.

-‘if you don’t pay for your hair to be done I can’t have mine done as the hairdresser will only come out if x amount of people are getting it done’.

-been told what days I’ll have to book annual leave off as she needs me on XYZ.

The whole process I’ve not been asked if I feel comfortable/ok/if it works for me. I honestly feel like a child that’s been dragged around by her parents and doing as I’m told or they’ll be trouble. Funny enough she was the last person I’d ever expect to be this way.[/quote]
No. No, no, no. I hope you haven't given in to this madness? She sounds absolutely awful.

She should be paying for your hair, and she should have chosen something accessible for the hen party instead of stiffing you all with a giant bill.

How far away is the wedding? You don't have to pander to her. Don't negotiate with terrorists!

She is BU about the suit, but tbh I’m surprised that you hadn’t already twigged that the tie would match the groomsmen if it matched your bridesmaids dress.

@GreyhoundG1rl

But what happens if she randomly stumbles on here and realise that she told me that DH couldn’t wear a navy suit. Can’t imagine that happening in many circles

@Thingsthatgo

It’s been years since I’ve been to a wedding. Tbh it was my DP who thought it was completely acceptable to wear a matching tie more so we could finally get a nice photo together —I hate photos with a passion— but I think he’s got confused with prom. I was on the bride side but he was pretty certain it was a normal thing to ‘match’ your partner. It wouldn’t have been an exact tie, with different added colours/pattern